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Chapter 30 - **Chapter 30: No Way, Absolutely No Way!**

**The Qin Household**

Every scrap of news about Feng Qin was delivered to the Ten Ancestors faster than a greased-up squirrel on a caffeine bender. This time, the report read: *"Feng Qin obliterated the Red Tiger Gang's leader… in ONE MOVE."*

"**He did WHAT?!**" the Tenth Ancestor squawked, spitting out his century-old oolong tea. The other ancestors clutched their beards so hard, they nearly yanked them clean off. Sure, they knew Feng was a prodigy, but *leap-frogging an entire cultivation realm* to annihilate a Spirit Martial Stage expert? That was like a toddler bench-pressing a dragon!

The First Ancestor, however, wasn't popping celebratory fireworks. His wrinkly face puckered like a prune. "He used his Emperor's Bone power again," he muttered. "What if he becomes… *addicted* to borrowed strength? Like a kid hooked on sugar-spark candy?"

"Pfft! Our Feng's got the ego of a peacock and the grit of a honey badger," the Tenth Ancestor retorted, buffing his nails smugly. "He'd rather chew rocks than rely on shortcuts."

The First Ancestor sighed. Sure, Feng was eight going on eighty in terms of talent, but kids were about as predictable as a drunk unicorn.

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**Meanwhile, in the Forest of Whimsy…**

Feng and Ziyan trailed behind the mysterious "Big Sis Demon," who'd dragged them to a bush hiding a basket of… *floof*. Three baby rabbits blinked up at them, their fur whiter than a snowcone, eyes bigger than Ziyan's obsession with shiny things.

"OMG! THEY'RE SO FLUFFY I COULD DIE!" Ziyan squealed, scooping one up. The bunny immediately poofed into a cotton ball of joy in her hands.

Big Sis Demon teared up. "These are my babies. Take one… *please*." She shoved the chunkiest furball at Feng faster than a street vendor hawking questionable meat skewers.

Feng stared at the creature now nibbling his sleeve. "Uh… is this a cultural thing? Do rabbit demons just yeet their kids at randos?"

Before they could protest, Big Sis Demon yeeted *herself* into the horizon, leaving Feng holding a bunny that let out a squeak worthy of a disgruntled teakettle.

**Ding!** *System Alert: Epic-tier pet acquired! Name: Fantuan (literally "Rice Bucket"). Special Skill: Eating your savings.*

"Wait, *Epic-tier*? Like my brother's talent level?!" Feng gasped. But his joy evaporated faster than a puddle in hell when Fantuan devoured his last Bloodberry—a fruit so rare, it made dragon scales look like sidewalk pebbles.

"Seven berries left. **Seven!**" Feng wailed. "You're a fuzzy little bankruptcy!"

Ziyan smirked. "Let's name her Snowball!"

"Nope. She's Fantuan now. The Great Devourer. Destroyer of Wallets."

"That's mean! How about Cotton?"

"Fantuan the Food Vacuum. Final offer."

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**Elsewhere, Lin San's Misery**

After dodging assassins with the grace of a concussed flamingo, Lin San finally cracked open the jade box he'd nearly died for. His face dropped faster than a lead balloon.

"**Empty?!**" he screeched, shaking the box like it owed him money. "Open. Close. Open. Close. *Still empty*?!"

Had Feng pulled a switcheroo? Was karma just a myth? Lin San's existential crisis peaked as he hurled the box into a river, where it bonked a grumpy catfish.

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**Back to Feng: Power-Up Time!**

Hiding in a cave (rent-free, thanks to Fantuan scaring off the landlord), Feng checked his loot: 1 Golden Loot Crate, 1 Spin-the-Wheel-of-Weirdness token, and… Fantuan's grocery list.

**Golden Crate Prize: Sword Intent!**

Feng's mind exploded with visions of a lone swordsman—cooler than a polar bear in shades—who sliced mountains for fun. When Feng opened his eyes, his gaze could've cut diamonds.

Ziyan gaped. "You… just mastered Sword Intent? At *eight*?! Lin San's gonna cry into his pillow for weeks!"

Feng smirked. "What can I say? I'm the Beyoncé of blade work."

**System Shill:** *For 1 million Villain Points, upgrade Sword Intent to "Divine Slash: But Wait, There's More!"*

Feng clicked "Yes" faster than a influencer buying blue checks. Instantly, his sword aura went from "scary" to "apocalypse chic."

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**Meanwhile, Fantuan's Revenge**

While Feng flexed his new skills, Fantuan chewed through his spare robes, his map, and *half a boot*.

"STOP EATING MY LIFE!" Feng yelled.

Ziyan tossed the bunny a berry. "She's just hangry. Also, we've got company."

Outside, mercenaries lurked, lured by the Qin family's bounty—enough gold to buy a small kingdom… or a lifetime supply of berries for a certain fluffball.

Feng grinned. "Time to test the new moves. Fantuan, wanna be my hype-bunny?"

The rabbit burped in approval.

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*To be continued… Will Fantuan bankrupt Feng before the assassins kill him? Will Lin San start a support group for scammed protagonists? Stay tuned!*

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