Eric didn't have to walk me home, but he insisted. I thought it would be a great opportunity to seduce him... until I heard the man groan in pain. I wasn't so senseless as to ignore that in favor of my sinful desires.
"Sit down, Felix. I'll get the first aid kit."
Without complaining, he threw himself onto the armchair after pushing aside some books with his uninjured hand. I grabbed the small kit from the kitchen cupboard, then approached him — now with his chest exposed, no shirt on. His shoulder looked swollen, but it wasn't exactly the injury I was staring at so intently. The defined chest, a few scattered hairs, and scars that only enhanced his charm... the man was enticing. I took a few steps closer, forcing myself to focus on the dislocated shoulder. "Stay focused, Nathan. You're treating someone injured, no matter how much desire you feel right now," I reminded myself.
"I'm going to have to set it back in place, and it's going to hurt."
I'd learned the basics of medicine, enough to be confident I'd do it right. I set the kit aside. Felix said nothing, just bit down on a piece of his shirt, bracing himself for what was to come. So I did it — I pushed the shoulder back into place with the right amount of pressure. The grunt that followed was minimal, but every muscle in his body tensed. I wrapped his arm in a bandage, deliberately maintaining as much contact as possible, letting my fingertips glide over his firm arms.
"You're still covered in that bastard's blood."
I jumped when I suddenly heard his voice, looking at him in a way that made my desire clear, completely ignoring any memory of Crow — especially with Felix right in front of me. I stood up, removed my coat and the torn shirt underneath, leaving my chest exposed. My body had been warm for some time. Felix looked at me intently, his gaze holding me captive. I took his good hand and guided it to my chest. Initially, he yielded to his instincts, letting his fingers slide to my nipples, pressing the tip, making me release a soft moan as my body heated up even more. I shivered lightly.
"Do you like what you see?"
I whispered, craving every inch of his body. His hand moved up to my neck and face. Suddenly, he stood up, closing whatever distance there had been between us. My heart felt like it was about to explode out of my chest... until his palm landed on my forehead.
"Damn it, Blauth. You're burning up with fever."
That wasn't what I expected to hear. And what about my passionate kiss? Who cares about a fever? I had been lured by those soft, caring touches — something I imagined to be rare from the older man. I wanted those lips so badly.
"So what?"
I said irritably. Right after those words, I felt my body weaken, inevitably leaning against him, clutching his arms. Eric held me firmly with his good arm, guiding me to my bedroom and laying me down. He could've at least kissed me... the kiss would've tasted like the heat radiating from my body. At least now all that sudden warmth made sense.
"You must be delirious."
His words infuriated me even more. Eric just wanted to dodge the subject, I could feel it. And all those other times I'd invited him for something more intimate — were those delusions too?
"It's not delirium! I want you. I know you feel the same!"
Maybe I was a little out of it from the fever... but only a little. I just wanted to make my feelings absolutely clear, even if I was under the influence of that dizzy sensation, like my head was spinning.
"You're just a boy... You don't know what you want."
Eric was rummaging through the first aid kit. He could at least look at me when he said that. Why was he so against my feelings?
"I'm not a child, Felix... The truth is, I've got plenty of experience."
In fact, it was the first time someone had treated me this way, and it messed with me more than I wanted to admit. Despite all the sexual experience I'd had at the castle, I wasn't good at dealing with such pure feelings. My heart was racing, and I knew it wasn't just because of the heat surging through my body.
"Sleep. Don't talk nonsense. You almost got seriously hurt today."
He sat down next to me, placing a cloth on my forehead — it was cold. I didn't like the sensation. There was no one I wanted more by my side than Felix, taking care of me... That made me start to believe he might actually feel something too.
"I was scared..."
"Don't say that, you idiot."
Even though I didn't want to show weakness, the words slipped out, my voice a whimper, showing just how vulnerable I was at that moment.
"I know. That's why I'm telling you... you're just a kid. So young."
I'm not sure what happened next — because I passed out. But I could almost swear I felt something warm on my lips and fingers running through my hair. It calmed me so much... That investigator was acting completely differently from what I expected. What should've happened was Eric giving in to his desires, using me as he pleased, giving me the pleasure I had longed for, then getting tired of me... But his protective actions, his gentleness, even his gruffness, made me want to live in the illusion of having someone. I was falling madly in love.
Walking through the dark hallways of the mansion, I came across Lord Gran Fort's office. The man had summoned me to serve him. I'd been learning to give him pleasure for about a month. I still felt insecure and often made mistakes, which resulted in small punishments — punishments that also demanded things from my body. They weren't bad; sometimes I even liked his slaps. My body was getting used to the sensations of his dominance.
"Is this the new girl?"
I heard the Lord's voice from the office. I knocked before entering.
"Come in, boy."
As I entered, I noticed someone on the floor — she was young, long-haired, very beautiful, her breasts exposed, and her gaze empty, as if delirious for some reason. The man next to the girl was big and strong, well-dressed, and looked at me with desire, though my lord reprimanded him.
"She'll be very useful. Give her more 'medicine,' that way she'll always be obedient."
At the time, I didn't understand the meaning of those words. I approached Gran Fort, who sat me on his lap.
"Yes, sir."
The man said as he left with the girl. He avoided looking at me, though I knew he wanted to — in a depraved way — but he dared not go against the lord's desires.
"Wait. Since you're such an excellent servant, I'll reward you with a little show. Give me the drug."
The Lord extended his hand. The man gave him a small shell and opened it — inside was a yellow paste. He dipped his fingers in the substance and slipped them into my mouth, under my tongue. I opened up without hesitation, feeling his wet fingers invading me without permission. I salivated immediately, the taste was sweet, my face flushed, and I closed my eyes as his fingers explored every corner of my mouth.
"W-what...?"
The taste, though sweet, was strange... but not bad. Actually, I felt lighter, and my vision started to blur as the man stripped me with his free hand, letting his subordinate gaze at my fully exposed body. Gran Fort made sure to spread my legs wide. But in that moment, I didn't care. I just wanted to feel good — to float. That was the best way to describe it. Any shame I should've felt was suppressed by the drug, which made my entire body shudder. Saliva dripped from the corner of my mouth, my face flushed, my breathing heavy, panting.
"You can have her."
With the Lord's permission, the man lunged at the girl, crazed, almost animalistic and desperate for carnal contact.
That afternoon I felt no inhibitions — just intense pleasure, exposed and penetrated in front of a stranger, opened and humiliated... and yet I moaned like I never had before. That was the first and last time I ever tasted opium paste.
"Blauth."
It was Eric's voice, distant. Gran Fort is involved in this trafficking. What I tasted that day could only have been opium. There was no other explanation. I was immature then — I couldn't have known. Even now, I wasn't entirely sure. They'd been distributing it for years... Was his family linked to the export? I thought their main businesses were brothels and casinos scattered around London and neighboring cities... I turned to look at the investigator, remembering I had fallen ill at the most inopportune moment.
"What is it?"
It had been so long since I'd felt this feverish. The last time was after being punished by Lord Gran Fort because of Crow. I had a fever for three days.
"You're still feverish, but it's gone down quite a bit. I need to go to the militia. Today I'll be interrogating Crow in the afternoon."
Eric was now properly dressed. A shame... I wanted to see his body exposed again.
"Rest today. Tomorrow I'll update you on the case."
"You're leaving me alone?"
I didn't want to sound whiny... but it was hard. Eric seemed to ponder this. I'd love for him to take care of me — some kind of special indulgence for being an excellent investigator... though I doubted he saw it that way. Did he stay by my side all night? If he did, I'd be so happy... like having butterflies in my stomach.
"I'll be back tonight. Then we can deal with the mess this house is in."
He didn't wait for a response and left.
Lately, I'd been dreaming about my old lover frequently. Was it because of the case? I still couldn't understand the link between Bartolomeu and all the circumstances... He was the sub-chief of Stan's cargo ship. He'd leaked opium to smaller brothels in the London suburbs. If Gran Fort was involved, he wouldn't want to supply it to people who couldn't afford it. So how did it all connect?
I fell asleep amidst these musings. Thankfully, I didn't dream. Waking up aroused every night or afternoon was exhausting. I woke up with something cold on my forehead — opening my eyes, I saw Felix changing the cloth. He was so careful... but seemed particularly more irritable than usual.
"Did something happen?"
I asked. That's when he realized I was awake. Even though I knew he got absurdly angry often, there were levels, and differences — I was starting to notice them... proof of how closely I paid attention to everything Eric did.
"Yes. Crow revealed something important. Stan is indeed transporting opium from our ports, hidden in false bottoms of the merchandise. Crow was siphoning some off for profit, betraying Stan. But there's a buyer — I think it's Gran Fort. He probably distributes it in his luxury establishments."
Eric spoke exasperatedly.
"Why the bad mood?"
I sat up in bed, watching him.
"They want to take us off the case. Someone up there doesn't like where this investigation is going — possibly Gran Fort's connections."
Felix's voice lowered, dangerously:
"They just want to pin it on Bartolomeu, sentence him, and end it. If we dig too deep, they might come after us."
"That's bad..."
I started feeling discouraged... partly because of the fever. I didn't want it to end here. But selfishly... what guaranteed I'd keep working with Felix? Even though we were partners now, he might just say, after the case, that he no longer wanted to work with me... Less time by his side.
"I have a contact. Dorothea — a high-class courtesan working at London's most luxurious brothel. She owes me a few favors. If we get evidence, not even the big shots can silence us."
He sounded more serious, focused. The plan seemed risky... more for Felix than for me. I was just his subordinate. If things went south — and I feared they would — he'd be the one to suffer. I was starting to hesitate in the face of such a big case. Even with selfish thoughts... I didn't want Felix to lose his job — or his life.
"Do you think it's wise for us to infiltrate? It could be dangerous..."
Entering that place would awaken things... confronting the past I'd been so successful in avoiding. Even if there was a slight chance of encountering William.
"It's not safe... but it's our chance. There'll be a big event next week, with many prominent figures. Our names will be on the guest list, and we'll search for any evidence of opium sales inside."
It wasn't a bad plan... I just hoped it worked. For Eric's sake.
"What if Lord Gran Fort recognizes me?"
I asked, insecure. I didn't want to meet him... When I left his arms, it was forever. Reliving my past wasn't just painful — it was unnecessary.
"He'll be the center of attention. No reason to look at you. We'll avoid any contact for now. Even gathering solid proof might not be enough to see him behind bars."
Eric didn't like that possibility.
"And Stan?"
I sighed. The situation was turning my stomach... I felt nauseous. I started sitting up, pushing the blanket off — wearing only a white shirt.
"This week we focus on him. Tomorrow I'll interrogate him, but I don't have permission to arrest him — not without more proof. Crow's testimony alone isn't enough."
I reached for the investigator's hand — the touch seemed to surprise him now.
"What are you doing?"
"Well... since you're going to stay with me... why don't we enjoy it?"
That question was rhetorical... I moved closer, wanting to touch his lips... Actually, this whole stressful situation, the intense dreams about my past, had me on edge. Eric averted his gaze... even without looking at me, he covered my mouth with his hand. I didn't know Eric liked these kinds of games. I thought it was a joke... until he pulled me out of bed toward the door. From behind, I noticed someone opening the room. It was dark, only the candle lit the place... But honestly... I wasn't too worried about the intruder... The feel of Felix behind me was much more interesting... dangerously close... I pressed against him more, feeling the bulge in his pants against my ass... His body went rigid... even his cock was slightly hard... My round ass would fit perfectly...
Eric didn't seem happy about the game... He shoved me aside, going straight toward the intruder before the man even noticed us in the room. They fought... but since the man was surprised by the first blow, it didn't take long for Eric to overpower him. When I approached... I didn't recognize his face... but it was obvious who had sent him...
"You can't run from this, Nathan."
That phrase didn't belong to the invader — it belonged to Gran Fort. That man knew where I lived... What didn't he know about me? Again, the nausea... but this time I controlled it. Felix knocked the man out and looked at me... as if trying to read something in me... I'm pale... completely lost any arousal.
"What did he mean by that?"
Felix stood up, approaching me, impatient, angry... I'd prefer he came at me not as an inquisitor... but with raw desire.
"My father wants me back, sir Felix..."
That's all I could manage, flashing my cynical smile, trying to hold his gaze... But I couldn't... not for long. I wasn't lying... I just didn't say what would happen when I went back to the Lord... or rather... what that man would do to me... A tool for his pleasure... Just thinking of William whispering in my ear gave me chills of fear... not pleasure anymore.
"You're coming to my house. Pack your things."
Eric crouched down beside the man and grabbed him — probably to tie him up and take him to the authorities... I couldn't move for several minutes... It was my chance... I didn't expect that invitation... My heart was pounding... I was nervous... Even now... I wasn't thinking about my former lover... Only the investigator... Felix was driving me insane.