Upon receiving letters from Nie Huaisang in the past, Wei Wuxian had often idly wondered how his friend acquired his information, how it was possible that he always had his finger on the pulse of society and its latest gossip.
This time he couldn't have cared less.
The very moment he had finished reading, he tossed Nie Huaisang's letter aside and lunged for his qiankun pouch.
It had been quite a while since he'd heard from either of the Jiang siblings.
Quickly scribbling two identical messages, Wei Wuxian's thoughts derailed, already conjuring pictures of Lotus Pier devoured by flames, of Jiang Cheng caught in their midst, of Jiang Yanli captured by Wen soldiers.
Why hadn't he written them recently? He had warned Jiang Cheng himself that the Wen sect might set its eyes on Lotus Pier next, so why the hell hadn't he remembered to check up on the situation?
Jiang Yanli's letter went through.
Jiang Cheng's didn't.
Frozen still, Wei Wuxian stared at his unsent letter.
"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji called, firmly gasping him by the shoulder.
The touch made Wei Wuxian jerk upright and look up.
Lan Wangji's expression was calm and intent. "The seal may not be on Jiang Wanyin's person."
"...Right," Wei Wuxian realized, nodding repeatedly. "Right! Like before! That... shijie will know, won't she?"
"Mn," Lan Wangji agreed, already handing him fresh paper.
"Yes, you're right, Lan Zhan, of course you are. Shijie has her seal—if something had happened, she would've written me."
"Most likely."
Fortunately for Wei Wuxian's sanity, it didn't take long for Jiang Yanli to send a reply.
It was fairly long but written in uncharacteristically hasty lines.
My dear A-Xian,
I realize how worried you must be for us and so hope to soothe some of your anxiety.
First, you must know that a-niang confiscated both my and A-Cheng's seals after coming back from Qishan, which is why neither of us has been able to contact you for weeks now.
As for the Wen sect, A-Cheng has been patrolling the border territories since he returned. He saw the fleet as it passed through Qutang Gorge. A-die says it will take a few days for the Wen sect to arrive at the pier.
"They already know." Wei Wuxian exhaled shakily. "Qutang Gorge, the Wens have only crossed the Baling border. They're travelling downstream though, and who knows how fast their ships are."
Lan Wangji nodded, frowning in concern.
A-Cheng has already snuck out again. He wants to find a way to stop the fleet, but it does not seem likely much can be done. The disciples are preparing for a confrontation already. A-niang especially seems resigned that a fight cannot be avoided, though a-die still holds out hope.
I on my part have made plans with Han-shijie and Shao-shimei to lead all those who cannot fight out of the pier. While travelling in Chongyang during our search for your uncle's family, Shao-shimei discovered a big, abandoned hunting lodge that would be a suitable hiding place.
A-die agreed to our plan, but I am still working on a-niang. She wants Yinzhu to fly me to Meishan instead. I am determined to have my way, however.
Wei Wuxian frowned, torn between pride and worry—of course, evacuating the noncombatants was the right thing to do, but the thought of Jiang Yanli leading a group of largely vulnerable people through Yunmeng's countryside sent a flush of fear down his back.
He knew better than to try to talk her out of something she felt so strongly about that she willingly fought her mother about it though.
As I was trying to convince her earlier today, a-niang was called away from her office. Since I knew where she kept them, I was able to secretly take the seals back. I will attempt to return A-Cheng's to him next he comes home.
I will be keeping in touch.
Your shijie
-------
They ran to find Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren immediately.
In Wei Wuxian's mind there was only one way forward—Gusu Lan had to get involved.
With the Wen fleet still days away from Lotus Pier there was enough time to organize something.
Even Lan Wangji's reminder that Yunmeng Jiang had yet to join the alliance and that his uncle and brother might hesitate didn't dissuade him. The entire purpose of the alliance was to unite against Wen Ruohan's power grabs—aiding any sect against an attack from Qishan Wen directly aligned with that purpose, so what did it really matter whether the sect in question had given its signature or not?
They went to the Hanshi first but found it dark and empty.
This was highly strange considering it was already past dinnertime. Lan Xichen was usually working at his desk at this time of the day, and on the rare occasion that he had completed all his work before curfew he would have been preparing for bed.
The first logical explanation was that sudden business had called him to his uncle's office. Lan Wangji looked concerned immediately.
Wei Wuxian, still occupied with thoughts about Lotus Pier and running high on the energy Nie Huaisang's letter had initially ignited in him, didn't think much of it though. Now that the Hanshi was empty the only priority was getting to Lan Qiren as quickly as possible instead.
Upon reaching his office, Wei Wuxian burst through the doors after hardly a knock.
Lan Xichen was indeed there, sitting at his uncle's desk.
"Lotus Pier will be attacked!" Wei Wuxian exclaimed in place of a greeting, out of breath from how much he had hurried. "Nie Huaisang wrote of an entire fleet of Wen soldiers and Jiang-guniang confirmed it to us just now—they've already entered Yunmeng and are sailing towards Lotus Pier!"
He expected shock and alarm. Maybe outrage.
But Lan Xichen, looking troubled, just asked, "That... how can that be?"
Lan Qiren's expression hardly wavered.
It had already been grim before Wei Wuxian had spoken.
"Sit down," he ordered.
"What? What do you mean, sit down ?" Wei Wuxian echoed, confused by their lackluster reactions. "A fleet of Wen soldiers is on its way to Lotus Pier as we speak ! There is no time to talk, we need to go help!"
Lan Wangji put a hand on his arm.
Wei Wuxian reluctantly let himself be reined back.
"What has happened?" Lan Wangji asked.
Lan Xichen shook his head. "Reports of a very similar nature reached shufu's office mere moments ago," he explained anxiously. "Large forces bearing the sun crest of Qishan Wen have been spotted marching towards Pingyang Yao, Maoming Gong and many other small southern sects. They all urgently applied to the alliance for instant aid."
Incredulous, Wei Wuxian let Lan Wangji pull him to sit with his brother.
"What the hell... how is that possible?" he asked. "How much manpower does Wen Ruohan have?"
"That is precisely what I am wondering too." Lan Xichen sighed. "Mingjue-xiong has already left for Pingyang. He will meet with Fu Huan from Hedong Fu to aid the Yao sect. Shufu and I were just drafting messages to our allies from Tangxi Yang and Hong'an Yin to coordinate a similar effort in the south."
His expression turned gentler.
"I know you must worry for your former sect siblings, A-Xian, but Jiang Fengmian has yet to take a conclusive position regarding the alliance. We cannot prioritize Yunmeng Jiang over allies we have sworn to stand by."
"Then let me go!" Wei Wuxian suggested immediately, disheartened that Lan Wangji's prediction of his uncle and brother's reaction had been proven right. "I can lead some people to Yunmeng!"
"You will do no such thing!" Lan Qiren snapped at him. "Have you learned nothing from your punishment?! Qishan Wen is still targeting you especially!"
Wei Wuxian bristled. "I know how to be careful!"
Lan Xichen put a hand on his shoulder. "A-Xian, please understand," he urged gently. "You and Wangji were successful in Qishan but think about it rationally. No one expected you to be sent on such a mission after the Wen sect had made their intentions to capture you known. But by now news of your involvement will have spread. Qishan Wen will be prepared for the possibility that you will appear again."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" Wei Wuxian asked. "You can't honestly expect me to just stay quietly in the Cloud Recesses while all this is going on!"
"Unless Yunmeng Jiang's leadership appeals for Gusu Lan's help we are not obligated to consider getting involved," Lan Qiren stated curtly.
Wei Wuxian stared at him. "So what if Jiang-zongzhu hasn't taken a conclusive stance? So what if he doesn't ask for help! Does that mean his entire sect deserves to suffer for his poor judgement?!"
Incredulous, he turned to Lan Wangji for support.
But Lan Wangji was just looking at him with a concerned frown.
As their eyes caught, he said, "Wei Ying, xiongzhang is right. The risk is too high. Do not endanger your life for a sect that has not even extended the courtesy of joining our alliance."
"Who the fuck cares about that!" Wei Wuxian threw up his hands.
"Wuxian!" Lan Qiren snapped. "Comport yourself with dignity!"
"I'll comport myself however I want as long as you're trying to keep me from helping innocent people because of arrogance and wounded pride!"
"Do not be impertinent!" the old man barked. "Is it not also your arrogance and pride to assume your involvement would make a difference? You left Yunmeng Jiang on tumultuous terms. Your sudden appearance would do more harm than good."
Wei Wuxian glared.
Lan Qiren was clearly unimpressed.
"Harden your heart, Wuxian, that family is no longer your responsibility. Wen Ruohan's interest in you is very dangerous." His eyes were utterly uncompromising. "While it endures you are a liability to your clansmen outside the sect grounds, you will not be leaving!"
Before the words had even fully registered, Wei Wuxian's heart dropped into his stomach and his entire body turned cold.
He shot up from his seat.
"You—get back here!" Lan Qiren shouted after him as he stormed out of the office.
-------
He made it hardly past the Lanshi before Lan Wangji caught up to him.
"Don't even try, Lan Zhan. I'm not in the mood!"
"Don't leave," Lan Wangji just said, catching him by the wrist.
Wei Wuxian couldn't help an incredulous laugh. "What? You... you think I'd take off on my own?"
Yet, saying it aloud, he abruptly realized that was exactly what his body was urging him to do. Desperation clawed its way past the anger clouding his thoughts.
"Do you really want me to just wait for news that Lotus Pier has been razed to the ground? Even you, Lan Zhan? The Lan sect is supposed to be at the forefront against Qishan Wen's tyranny, but now we won't even lift a finger?"
"Wei Ying, Gusu Lan cannot prioritize Yunmeng Jiang's people over sworn allies merely to appease your personal feelings," Lan Wangji said. "You must be reasonable!"
"How about you try to be less cold-hearted?" Wei Wuxian indignantly wrenched his wrist out of Lan Wangji's grasp. "You never liked the Jiangs, don't pretend as though you're not also bringing personal feelings into this! Surely, we have some disciples to spare! Instead, you want me to accept that, what—the entire Jiang sect should be left to the dogs just because their sect leader can't make up his fucking mind?"
Lan Wangji closed his eyes and exhaled.
It was as though they were running in circles—hadn't they already had this argument once before, the night they'd left for Qishan to save Jiang Cheng?
Only that, this time, it seemed Lan Wangji wouldn't budge as easily.
"Lan Zhan, we did so well in Qishan," Wei Wuxian tried a different approach, grasping Lan Wangji's arms. "Together we're unstoppable! If we go now, we can make a difference this time as well, I know we can! What about shijie? Are you seriously indifferent to her being in danger?"
"That is not what I said."
It was evident that Lan Wangji's composure was beginning to fray, frustration peeking through.
"There is no perfect solution. Wei Ying, you have warned Yunmeng Jiang amply in the past and again just earlier. Tempting fate again by placing yourself in Qishan Wen's reach is not worth the risk. Anything that happens onward is Jiang-zongzhu's responsibility."
Wei Wuxian stepped back and turned his head, not wanting to hear it. "I can't trust him to do what's best for his family. They need me," he said, feeling absolutely certain. "Shijie needs me. Jiang Cheng—I have to do whatever it takes to keep them safe. If something happened to either of them it would be my fault for twiddling my thumbs while I knew damn well they were in danger!"
Lan Wangji grabbed him anew. "Wei Ying, you are no longer duty-bound to sacrifice your safety for the Jiang family. You must put those days of servitude behind you!"
Wei Wuxian ripped his arm free. "What the hell are you talking about!" At once, Lan Wangji tried to get a hold of him again. " Don't, you—don't talk like you understand—stop fucking pulling at me! This is none of your damn business!"
As if he'd been slapped, Lan Wangji flinched back immediately.
Heaving with agitation, Wei Wuxian stared at him. Pale eyes stared back, wavering with emotion, too strong for even Lan Wangji to conceal quickly enough. Instant regret washed over Wei Wuxian as he realized just who he was shouting at.
Yet, at the same time, it was impossible to take his words back.
At a loss what to do, he simply turned to leave once more.
Lan Wangji's fingers buried into the back of his clothes faster than he could run.
"Please, Wei Ying, do not go," he said quietly, pleadingly. "Above everything—promise me you will not just disappear."
With a heavy sigh, the fight finally left Wei Wuxian.
How could anyone stay callous when spoken to in such a voice?
"I won't. Okay? I just... need to get out of here for a bit." Shaking his head, Wei Wuxian pulled the other's hand off himself.
"Don't search for me."
Lan Wangji didn't follow as he walked away.
-------
The first thing Wei Wuxian did as soon as he was outside of the Cloud Recesses was write his shijie again. Jiang Yanli had little new information to share though. Jiang Cheng had yet to return home and Madam Yu had yet to allow her daughter to go through with her evacuation plans.
Walking wherever his feet took him as his thoughts drifted, Wei Wuxian soon found himself on the clearing Lan Qingzhao had explained her maze array in. The array had been deactivated again and so the dirt path to the Cloud Recesses had let itself be traversed in a mere matter of moments.
What could he possibly offer Jiang Yanli and her family while he was stuck all the way across the country?
How could Lan Qiren expect him to just keep his head down?
Walking over the clearing and further into the thicket of the forest, Wei Wuxian soon reached the continuation of the stream that led past where the guest disciple dormitories had been before the fire—here, further down the mountain, the stream was slower and more peaceful, its edges lined with fishwort and sweet flag.
Wei Wuxian crouched between the plants and stared into the water, as though it might give him answers.
Dusk had all but passed and his reflection was mostly indiscernible, save for the vague outline of his face and the dark shadow cast by his furrowed eyebrows.
You are a liability to your clansmen, Lan Qiren's voice echoed in his mind.
Frustration spiking, Wei Wuxian destroyed his blurry reflection with a strike of his hand, rejecting the harsh sting of hurt in his chest.
He wouldn't accept that there was nothing he could do just because Wen Ruohan wanted to drag him into the dungeons of the Nightless City for some reason. He would just have to disguise himself again! He would show the old man that he wasn't someone that needed to be kept on a leash.
Inspired, Wei Wuxian retrieved his lotus blossom seal from his pouch and quickly wrote Jiang Yanli once more.
Disguise yourself before you leave the pier, shijie. Use servant robes or something similar, hide your clarity bell and your sword and wear your hair simply. Don't let the Wens realize who you are.
Pausing, Wei Wuxian frowned down at his sentences. Petulance taking the upper hand, he added,
And if you need me just say the word. I will come immediately.
The satisfaction he felt after he had sent the message off was liberating.
Ever reliable, his shijie answered swiftly.
Your steadfast affection is a balm to the soul, A-Xian. For now, my parents seem to have things under control. And though I am ashamed to admit it, I am relieved to not have to worry about both my younger brothers' safety.
The disguise is a very good idea. I will talk to a-niang again early tomorrow. Until then, please do not worry too much, A-Xian.
It was clear that Jiang Yanli was trying to relieve his anxiety, even now when she should be focusing all her energy on ensuring her own safety.
Determined not to bother her further, Wei Wuxian stood from his perch by the stream and walked down its winding path.
The very last remainder of sunlight was in the process of being swallowed, leaving the forest in that strange stage between faint light and absolute darkness that strained the eyes. Curfew had already passed. If he was found outside the Jingshi, let alone the sect walls, he would definitely get in trouble.
The thought was stifling—how was he supposed to sleep while Qishan Wen was on its way to Lotus Pier? How could anyone expect him to?
Yet for all his indignation, Wei Wuxian had no one to turn to.
By now Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren were definitely more than busy planning how to aid the south and the latter was probably furious with him.
Lan Qingzhao had shouted at him to get out of her sight, just a few shichen ago.
Even Lan Wangji had refused to help.
Determined to ignore the weight of loneliness pressing on his heart, Wei Wuxian kicked a nearby pebble off his path. He overdid it slightly—instead of into the stream it crashed against the opposite embankment before tumbling into the water. It even dragged some ground cover with it, dull splashes in the darkness.
What a mess.
Walking further, Wei Wuxian pushed aside a branch that obstructed his view southwest, where the last of the sun was visible, remnants of weak pink and red that peeked through the shadows of tree trunks.
Somewhere in that direction, beneath the same darkening sky, Lotus Pier was currently preparing to fend off an entire fleet of Wen soldiers.
How many people would a fleet hold?
A couple hundred?
More?
Wei Wuxian's fingers dropped from the branch, naturally landing on Suibian.
If he took off now, he could be in Lotus Pier in half a day, maybe less.
At least before sunrise.
Wei Wuxian didn't know how far the fleet had gotten since Jiang Cheng had seen it pass through Qutang Gorge, but it probably wouldn't make much headway during the night. Qishan Wen's disciples weren't especially known for their boating skills as far as he was aware.
Though Chang River was generally broad and deep, where it flowed through narrower cliff passages or expansive wetlands nightly traversal was more challenging. The former encouraged strong currents and sudden eddies, while shallows could appear seemingly out of nowhere in the latter's muddy and opaque waters.
Even in Lotus Pier only experienced fishermen ever dared to go night fishing. Anyone else was almost guaranteed to end up with a busted hull unless brazen luck just so happened to carry their vessel around invisible rocks and debris.
Wei Wuxian pulled Suibian from her sheath.
What if his shijie was underestimating the situation? Jiang Yanli was one of the best people he knew, but she wasn't trained for tactical thinking. She'd probably been kept out of such talks by her parents.
And even if he wasn't needed inside the pier, Wei Wuxian was sure he could be of use elsewhere, could help Jiang Cheng spy on the Wens, could make his shijie laugh through her worry, could not leave their sides and make sure they were protected.
Suibian's spirit leapt up in support, preparing to bear him through the night sky and to the home of his childhood.
Lan Wangji would just have to forgive him.
On cue, pale eyes flashed through Wei Wuxian's mind, their glittering depths awash with betrayal.
He gritted his teeth and tightened his fingers around his sword but was unable to dispel the picture.
For a moment he was completely petrified in indecision.
In the end his heart couldn't bear it.
Harshly clicking his tongue and cursing his own weakness, Wei Wuxian threw Suibian back into her sheath.
-------
Night had completely fallen by the time he returned to the Cloud Recesses.
Forced to revisit old habits, he broke in over the sect wall.
His restlessness had yet to subside, but his frustration had begun to take a new direction, focusing inward more and more with every step.
Lan Wangji probably thought he was being so immature.
Lan Qiren definitely did.
Excessive displays of emotion are forbidden.
Being immature meant being unreliable.
No wonder they wanted to keep him contained within the sect grounds.
Get over yourself already , Wei Wuxian chided himself, annoyed even further at the memory of He Yongrui's frustratingly kind voice, explaining the world to a child.
He had every intention of stealing into bed as undetected as he had stolen across the sect wall, torn between guilt and relief at the hope that he could avoid another confrontation with Lan Wangji, but any such hopes were squashed as he emerged from the trees hiding the Jingshi from the rest of the clan area and saw that the lights were still burning inside.
Qin music could be heard as well, a faint melody silently ringing out into the night.
With time, Wei Wuxian had learned that Lan Wangji played not just to practice but also to collect his thoughts or calm himself.
Immediately anxious, Wei Wuxian approached the front doors extra slowly.
He wanted to tell himself he was being foolish—just because Lan Wangji was self-soothing didn't mean he actually thought Wei Wuxian had up and left without saying a word, breaking a promise immediately after making it—but he didn't quite manage to convince himself.
He determinedly pushed the memory of how close he had come to breaking said promise out of his head at the same time as he pushed the Jingshi's doors open.
Lan Wangji instantly stopped playing, his fingers freezing and his eyes snapping up to look at him standing in the doorway.
Wei Wuxian quickly searched for something else to focus on.
Like this his gaze got caught on two bowls of fried rice that had been prepared on the table, one a fiery red, the other not.
Both were still steaming, talismans carefully attached to the bowls.
"You are back," Lan Wangji acknowledged, like a realization.
"...Mn," Wei Wuxian agreed, still staring at the bowls.
It suddenly dawned on him that, had he left, Lan Wangji would have waited just like this long into the night, while the warming talismans slowly lost their effect and the food that he had made for the two of them to share slowly turned cold.
Wrenching himself away from such a devastating picture Wei Wuxian marched forward and sat himself down in front of the red bowl, wordlessly picked up his chopsticks and began to shovel food into his mouth.
An instance passed before he heard Lan Wangji stand from his instrument and come over too, the rustling of his robes barely discernible.
Wei Wuxian didn't lift his eyes as Lan Wangji took a seat across from him.
They spent long moments just eating.
The silence was unbearable.
Usually, Wei Wuxian loved sharing meals together in the Jingshi. It was one of his favorite times ever. Now, the span of the table between them was a yawning chasm, impossible to bridge.
He tried to ignore the stinging in his chest but with every hasty bite he took it became worse, throbbing like an ache. Since Lan Qingzhao had snapped at him, he hadn't felt quite right, tender and brittle somehow.
The food was still delicious of course, perfectly spicy.
It deserved to be savored, not stuffed into one's mouth without a care and barely tasted.
Occupied with such thoughts Wei Wuxian had soon finished half of his bowl as sudden movement startled him out of his head.
A pale hand was approaching his face.
Completely disregarding the insurmountable chasm between them, Lan Wangji began to dab at his mouth with a handkerchief.
"Eat slower," he chided.
Wei Wuxian held entirely still, not knowing what he felt as he stared at Lan Wangji's concentrated expression.
Once Lan Wangji was satisfied, he carefully refolded the handkerchief and resumed eating, as though nothing had happened.
Just like that, hot tears were rushing into Wei Wuxian's eyes.
Giving up on food, he pushed his bowl aside, crossed his arms on the table and shoved his face into them.
Not only am I a child I'm a crybaby as well , he thought, mortified that he'd managed to cry twice in a single evening. He firmly hoped his sleeves would absorb his eyes' damn ability to leak whenever they felt like it.
Shame curdled in his belly like souring fish, but at least he managed not to make a sound. He wasn't even sure why he was suddenly crying or what had pushed him over the edge and wasn't that stupid? If he had to make a fool of himself, didn't he at least deserve to know why?
Unbidden, his mind supplied him with all the memories he had of his shijie taking him into her arms when he'd cried as a child. So much time had passed. He wanted her now. His shijie would drape her sleeve over him, would pet his hair and hug him. She would know not to ask.
Instead, she had to sleep tonight fearing for her life and he wasn't even there to protect her. Why couldn't she just always be where he was?
For what seemed like a long time the world was nothing but his own wet breaths and stifled sniffles.
Then gentle shuffling of fabric could be heard, once again announcing Lan Wangji's movement. Moments later the warmth of another body settled at Wei Wuxian's side.
Before he could protest strong arms were gathering him up and moving him into a familiar lap.
Wei Wuxian quickly pushed his face into Lan Wangji's shoulder, unwilling to stop hiding.
"Why are you crying?" Lan Wangji murmured into his hair.
But even had he wanted to give one, Wei Wuxian didn't have an answer.
-------
They didn't speak that night.
Lan Wangji carried Wei Wuxian to bed and that was it.
Though he was bone-tired, Wei Wuxian wasn't able to fall into more than a restless doze, startling awake in a blind panic every other moment to check his qiankun pouch for a new letter from Jiang Yanli or maybe Jiang Cheng that wasn't ever there.
Daybreak came both too soon and not soon enough.
Harrowed and unfocused, Wei Wuxian dressed as quietly as he could and left both the Jingshi and Lan Wangji asleep inside it before maoshi had even arrived.
He only just remembered to leave a hasty note on the table.
I've gone to the Cold Springs to meditate. Eat without me.
It was not quite a lie—Wei Wuxian might have had a secondary motive for fleeing the Jingshi before Lan Wangji was awake, but he indeed spent the early morning shivering in the Cold Springs, though meditation was a reliable enemy and eluded him.
He could not pass more than a few instances without imagining Lotus Pier swallowed by blood and fire, corpses carelessly discarded in a pile, most of their features familiar, could not stop his mind from screaming at him to leave.
Wei Wuxian told himself he was grateful that Lan Wangji didn't come to find him, not sure whether he could have kept a damper on the flashes of resentment that were pushing him to blame Lan Wangji for making him stay in Gusu.
In the end duty waited for no one though, uncaring of one's serenity of mind.
All too soon maoshi had passed and Wei Wuxian had no choice but to drag himself out of the icy water to dress again, having only just remembered that he in fact had a class of juniors to teach martial arts to this morning.
By the time he arrived at the training grounds, he had successfully adopted a veneer of composure—it would be unacceptable to give anything but his best performance as a teacher, or he might as well give up his classes to someone more reliable immediately.
He still didn't quite manage to summon his usual cheer, but most of his students seemed too distracted to notice, their excited and worried speculations impossible to tune out.
They weren't speculating about Lotus Pier at least—it seemed that news hadn't made the rounds yet.
Lan Xichen had left in the middle of the night, taking a crowd of skilled senior disciples with him.
Most of the juniors were confused why such an effort was made for small sects they'd never even heard of, but they all seemed to agree that Lan Xichen was awesome for going to chase the Wen sect away.
Wei Wuxian hadn't even known that he was waiting but as he was preparing for his archery class later in the morning and felt a thrum of spiritual energy by his waist, he instantly dropped the practice bows he had just picked out, letting them all clatter to the floor of the storage room in his haste to reach for his qiankun pouch.
Jiang Yanli had finally sent another letter. Once again it was long.
Full of relief and anxious anticipation, Wei Wuxian quickly stepped out of the storage room for better lighting, practice bows entirely forgotten behind him.
My dear A-Xian,
I apologize for only reaching out now. Things have been so busy that I hardly found any time to sit down and pen a letter.
A-niang finally agreed to let me lead the evacuation. I must actually thank you. The first thing I did this morning was find servant robes to wear. As you might expect a-niang was furious when I came to her dressed in them, but I believe she finally realized I was determined and that I had a plan.
I will lead everyone out of the pier at noon. With luck we will arrive in Chongyang in three days. Han-shijie and Shao-shimei will be accompanying me, as will Yinzhu on a-niang's insistence. As I am writing this, they are gathering everyone on the main training field. I have already prepared food, blankets and medicine to take with us, though I hope there will be no true emergencies.
A-die has at last started looking into erecting the great defensive barrier array. He seemed concerned the Wen sect would perceive it as a challenge and that it would escalate the situation, but a-niang convinced him that the time for diplomacy has passed.
A-Cheng returned home too this morning, though only briefly. He is still determined to follow the fleet. By now the Wens have passed Badong Village and are likely to reach Yichang tomorrow. A-Cheng believes he saw Wen Chao on the leading vessel.
I wanted to return his seal to him, but unluckily there were no chances to do so without a-niang seeing. A-Cheng said that Yunmeng Jiang owes Gusu Lan too much already and that it would not be right to contact you for help anyway. With me gone by noon there will be no opportunity to convince him to take the seal after all. I must have faith that he will be careful.
Still, to you I will admit how scared I truly am, A-Xian. I fear for everyone who will be staying to defend the pier, I fear for A-Cheng, I fear for our parents, I fear for the buildings we grew up in and the people living under Yunmeng Jiang's protection. I try not to think of all that could happen.
I hope you and Wangji are staying safe, I hope you are eating well and sleeping peacefully at night.
I promise to write again as soon as we are on the road.
Your shijie.
-------
Wei Wuxian didn't meet Lan Wangji for lunch.
After he had dismissed his last class of the day, he briefly went to the Jingshi but only to retrieve his bow.
Lan Wangji wasn't there then, had likely already returned to his work in the library.
If he had been home at noon, he had cleared away all leftovers from the midday meal.
Leaving the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian wandered out into the forest.
Officially he was hunting.
In reality, a pheasant could have flown by right by his nose and he probably would have missed his shot. His concentration was sporadic, only ever truly revived when a letter from his shijie appeared in his qiankun pouch.
Jiang Yanli kept her word.
Over the course of the day multiple short updates arrived from her.
Wei Wuxian read each of them so many times the words were starting to blur together, meticulously searching between the lines for any sign that he needed to come to Yunmeng after all.
Jiang Yanli's letters rang determinedly optimistic though—she hoped for persisting good weather and good roads, Yinzhu, Han Xia and Shao Lihua were encountering no Wen disciples while scouting ahead and everyone was in good spirits in so far as the situation allowed.
By late evening, after describing the campsite she and her group of evacuees had secured in a peaceful forest some li northeast of Shayang, she wrote that her spiritual energy reserves were running a little low. She hoped Wei Wuxian would understand that she had to cut back on her letters' frequency and could only write again the next day.
Wei Wuxian had at last run out of excuses to stay away from the Cloud Recesses.
He dragged his feet all the way to the Jingshi and arrived way past dinnertime, then immediately felt bad when he found Lan Wangji waiting for him, food ready on the table.
Instead of complaining about being stood up for lunch and almost again for dinner, Lan Wangji just eyed the bow slung over his shoulder.
Wei Wuxian was pretty sure his gaze held judgement.
"You should not miss meals," was what he said as Wei Wuxian sat down across from him.
"I stopped by the kitchen between classes," Wei Wuxian mumbled, busily choosing some side dishes to put in his bowl.
Lan Wangji hummed, clearly not approving.
He still allowed Wei Wuxian to pretend that it was perfectly normal for both of them to uphold the no-talking-while-eating rule when they were in private.
Once their bowls were empty his patience ran out though.
"You are avoiding me," he stated.
Straight to the point as always.
Instead of answering right away, Wei Wuxian fussed with their empty dishes, adjusting them on their tray, then stood and brought it outside for a servant to pick up.
"What makes you think that?" he finally asked.
Lan Wangji exhaled behind him, short and irritated.
Wei Wuxian immediately whirled around. "Don't huff at me!"
"I was trying to have an honest conversation," Lan Wangji shot back. "But if you cannot be genuine there is no point."
Wei Wuxian glared. "Since you can change your mind so quickly it's clear you don't actually want to have a conversation anyway!"
Lan Wangji's eyebrows furrowed. "Do not twist reality to suit your purposes."
"Oh, and what reality is that? The one in which you think I'm unreasonable?" Wei Wuxian asked flippantly. "Or the one in which I'm appeasing my personal feelings when I worry about shijie and Jiang Cheng and want to help them? Which is it, Lan Zhan!"
Lan Wangji exhaled, clearly attempting to calmly sort out his response.
Wei Wuxian did not feel like entertaining it.
"Or maybe you've had regrets after taking our punishment, is that it? You've gladly had your obedience beaten back into you! Do you blame me now for dragging you to Qishan?"
"Wei Ying."
"What? That's not it? It sure as hell doesn't seem like you're very worried your inaction might end up biting someone in the ass! Watch me now, Lan Zhan, is this what you wanted? I've never been more genuine in my life! Say whatever you want, you think I'm scared?"
Lan Wangji appeared unfazed. "There is no shame in being scared," he said.
Wei Wuxian's heart jumped like he'd been thrown high by a wave. "Shut up!" he barked, his shoulders rising and his fists clenching at his sides.
This finally sufficed to crack Lan Wangji's flawless facade.
As though he couldn't bear holding eye contact any longer, he cast his gaze down, looking at his lap.
Half hidden by the fall of his hair his lips were trembling, just slightly.
A younger, more foolish Wei Wuxian would have perhaps been smug about getting such a strong reaction.
Now it only served to drive pressure behind his eyes.
"I'm bathing first," he snapped, marching past Lan Wangji and his quiet anguish.
He threw their closet open.
"What use is there in talking when you're only going to tell me again that I have to put my days of servitude behind me, that I have to harden my heart and get over it?"
He grabbed the first change of clothes he saw, unable to stop his mouth.
"Or have you decided to agree with your uncle that I'm a liability too now? Am I getting on your nerves? Am I testing your patience? You cannot put up with me anymore?"
He waited for a reply, glancing at Lan Wangji to gauge his reaction, but when Lan Wangji didn't immediately answer and just kept his head lowered, Wei Wuxian stalked into the bathroom, banging the door closed behind him. If there were tears mixing with the bathwater while he was furiously scrubbing at his skin, that was no one's business but his own. Once he was clean, he left the bath, dressed, marched back into the main room and went straight to bed.
Curled around his pillow on his side of the bed, Wei Wuxian tried to ignore the quiet splashing of water coming from next door as Lan Wangji took his own bath.
By the time Lan Wangji returned to the main room himself he had perfected breathing slowly and deeply, giving his best impression of someone fast asleep.
He didn't even stir as the mattress dipped and a warm body carefully settled into bed next to him.
Lan Wangji did not pull him close as he usually would, did not even allow so much as their feet to brush.
Wei Wuxian told himself it didn't bother him, tried to make pretense reality and sleep, but the world was conspiring against him. His back felt decidedly cold, his legs were lonely, and the pillow he had wrapped himself around was too soft and small in his arms.
He couldn't sleep at all.
"...Xiongzhang wrote," Lan Wangji said into the darkness.
So Wei Wuxian hadn't fooled him after all. Briefly, he considered not reacting and letting Lan Wangji second-guess himself, but concern won out. He turned his head just the slightest bit to indicate he was listening.
"They arrived in Guangdong today, late in the afternoon," Lan Wangji went on quietly. "The situation seems to be dire. Multiple small sects have been burned to the ground on the way to Maoming. It is proving difficult to contact any of the sect leaders who called for help."
Instant guilt flushed hot through Wei Wuxian—in his concern for Lotus Pier he had not spared much thought for the other sects that Qishan Wen was targeting.
He wasn't sure what to say.
A warm palm carefully touched his back.
"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji whispered.
After long moments of not getting a reply, he sighed.
Wei Wuxian heard him resettle his head on his pillow. His hand stayed where it was though, heavy and warm between Wei Wuxian's shoulder blades.
Wei Wuxian remained completely still so he wouldn't remove it, at last managing to slip into a restless sleep.
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