It felt like nothing good had ever happened to me for years—just pain and more pain, regrets piling up like ashes of a once beautiful fire. I had learned to live in this misery, breathing in the coldness I created around me.
But today... something changed.
I sat by the window, after my long sob,staring blankly at the mountains, the wind brushing past my face, as if mocking me for still existing. My mind drifted back to everyone I had lost, the hearts I had broken—including his.
John.
The only person who saw me for who I was but I still pushed him away. I broke his heart like I did to everyone else—shutting him out when all he did was try to stay. I hadn't heard from him in years... until today.
The knock on the door startled me. I wasn't expecting anyone. I barely moved—what was the point? But the knock came again, louder this time. Slowly, with heavy steps, I walked toward the door and opened it.
And there he stood.
John.
The same John whose eyes once held warmth only for me. The same John I betrayed with my silence, my cruelty.
His eyes softened the moment they met mine. "I finally found you," he whispered.
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak.
He stepped inside without waiting for an invitation. "Why... why did you disappear?" his voice cracked. "Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"
Tears blurred my vision. "I—I thought you hated me..."
John shook his head, walking closer. "Hated you? I hated what you did, but I could never hate you."
I broke down right there, falling to my knees. "I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I was scared... I didn't know how to face anyone... I broke you... I broke myself..."
He knelt beside me, wiping my tears with shaky hands. "You did," he said honestly. "You broke me... But I'm still here."
I cried harder. "I don't deserve your forgiveness."
John smiled—the first smile I'd seen in what felt like forever. A beautiful, warm smile that reached his eyes. "I know," he teased lightly, "that's why... breaking my heart like that, you'll be punished."
I stared at him, confused, my tears still flowing. "Punished?"
He nodded and pulled me into a tight hug. "Your punishment... is to never leave me again."
I gasped as he whispered into my ear, "I love you... I never stopped loving you. I've searched for you all this time. And now that I've found you... I'm never letting you go again."
That was it.
The walls I had built around my heart crumbled.
For the first time in so many years, I felt what it was like to be loved again. To be held, not by a voice in my head—but by a real person.
I buried my face in his chest, sobbing uncontrollably, as he held me tighter. "You're home now," he whispered. "And I'm here."
And in that moment, under the grey sky and the cold breeze, I smiled through my tears—because someone smiled at me, someone still loved me.
John held me for a long moment, his warmth wrapping around my cold, broken soul. Slowly, he pulled back and stared into my eyes. There was no anger—only pain, and something I hadn't seen in so long... love.
He asked, his voice soft, "What happened... to your family?"
I swallowed hard, looking away. "I shut them out... just like I did to everyone else. My brothers... they hate me now. I pushed them away... I made them hate me." My voice cracked. "I thought I was protecting myself... but I ended up losing everything."
John was silent. I couldn't even look at him, afraid of what I'd see in his eyes—pity, disgust, regret for ever coming here. But instead, he did something I didn't expect.
He placed a hand on my cheek, gently turning my face toward him. His gaze was firm, yet his eyes trembled. "Do you know how long I waited for you to see me?" he whispered.
My breath hitched.
"I... I really did love you," he confessed, his voice breaking. "But you never saw it. No matter how close I got, no matter how hard I tried... you were always looking somewhere else, shutting me out, building walls I couldn't climb."
Tears gathered in my eyes again, threatening to fall. "I was scared, John... I didn't know what love felt like. I was scared of being hurt... so I hurt everyone first."
He let out a shaky sigh, pulling me close once more. "And yet, here I am. After all that... after all these years... I'm still here. Not because I'm a fool, but because my heart wouldn't let me forget you."
My body trembled in his arms. "I don't deserve you," I whispered.
John chuckled bitterly, resting his chin on my head. "Maybe... but it's not about what you deserve. It's about what I feel. And I still... love you."
I clung to him like my life depended on it, for the first time feeling that maybe... just maybe... I wasn't as alone as I thought.
And the voice in me chuckled softly, almost like a sigh of relief. "Finally... I can rest. You found someone who sees through you, someone who stayed even when you made the world your enemy."
It paused, then added, "Stick to him... stop breaking human hearts and bones into powder. You've punished yourself enough... it's time to heal."