Night fell heavy and restless.Elara lay awake in her small apartment, city sounds soft beyond the window: rain on stone, distant cars whispering past.
On her nightstand sat her phone, screen dark, Ciel's name one touch away.
She reached for it — paused — and let her hand fall back to the sheets.
The fear tasted like iron:
What if I hear his voice and feel nothing?What if I hurt him more by forgetting again?
Instead, she rose and switched on the lamp, light spilling across a blank page.
The pen felt heavy in her hand, trembling slightly.
"A letter," she whispered, breath shaky."Maybe words will stay when memory doesn't."
She began to write.
Ciel,
I don't know if you'll read this before I find the courage to see you.Or if I'll remember why I wrote it.
Yesterday was Tuesday. I know that in my bones, even if the rest feels hollow.I should have been there.I'm so sorry I wasn't.
The truth is, something is slipping inside me.There are days when your face is clear, like rain on glass.And days when it feels like I'm chasing a reflection that fades when I blink.
I hate that it frightens me so much.I hate more that it must hurt you, too.
But even when I forget the shape of your smile, or the sound of your laugh, there's still this ache —a place in me that knows something precious is missing.
Maybe that's love.Maybe it's just memory.
Maybe they're the same thing.
I want to see you.But if my eyes look empty… if my words falter…Please know that somewhere, behind the fog, I am still reaching for you.
Tuesday. Fig tree. Your name: Ciel.
I'm writing these so I won't forget.
Yours — even when I don't remember why,Elara
She read the words back, breath shaking.
Folded it carefully, wrote his name on the envelope.
The next morning, on trembling legs, she walked to the riverside tea shop where they first met.
"Could you give this to him?" she asked Miss Anya, the kind-eyed owner.
"Of course, dear," Miss Anya said softly, voice gentle with understanding deeper than words.
As Elara stepped back into the rain, she felt lighter and more terrified all at once.
Somewhere across the city, she knew Ciel was waiting — and this letter was her promise that she was still trying to find him.