We rode home in silence. I hated it because it made me nervous, and gave me time to think of what was waiting once we arrived. The wedding consummation. I had never even touched a man before, father made sure of that, and now I would... I shook my head. You're scaring yourself, I scolded myself. Maybe he would spare me tonight if he had someone else to be with.
"Your Highness?"
"Yes?"
"Do you have another wife, Your Highness?" I asked.
I shouldn't have. It was none of my business. Mother had told me to be careful not to ask a prince such questions, but I didn't care. I needed to know what was waiting for me once we reached home. He turned his gaze to me and narrowed his eyes. Did he get angry?
"No, I don't." He answered slowly.
I was surprised that I felt relieved when I shouldn't have. This would only mean that I would have to spend the night with him. I shivered at the thought.
"But I have many mistresses." He finished.
Oh, of course. Why didn't I think about it? He was an attractive man and a prince. I wanted to curse, but he suddenly laughed.
"You don't seem to like that," He drawled.
Why would I? But I couldn't say that, indeed.
"It's not for me to like or dislike, Your Highness," I stated simply.
He didn't say anything to that.
I wondered what his name would be.
"Your Highness?"
"You may call me Lucian when we are alone".
Lucian. I repeated the name in my head. I liked the sound of it.
After a while, the carriage stopped, and then a guard informed us that we had arrived. Lucian stepped out of the carriage and offered me his hand. I took it, and he helped me down.
The castle was grand and the garden even more luxurious, with green bushes and colorful flowers. The castle was made of ivory walls and several tall, square towers. The towers were connected by large bridges and small windows covered its walls along with gaps for archery and artillery.
There was a big fountain in the middle of the garden surrounded by grass and bushed in all kinds of shapes. Different range of flowers were symmetrically scattered across the garden. It was truly a beautiful sight.
"Lucian?" someone called and I turned my head to see who. Four men in royal robes approached us from a distance.
"We came to welcome you and your bride," One of them spoke as they neared.
"Is that so?" Lucian asked.
"Of course, we are brothers after all!" The other behind him smirked.
Brothers?
"Why don't you and your bride join us for dinner?" He suggested. "We would like take a closer look at your bride," and then he shot me a glance.
Lucian walked up to his brother, standing only a few inches away from him. It looked like he was trying to intimidate him which clearly worked because suddenly his brother's guards grabbed their weapons as if ready to attack.
Lucians guards reached for their weapons as well and there was suddenly tension in the air.
What was happening? I thought they were brothers or did I hear wrong?
"Thank you brother, but I must decline," Lucian said in a polite tone, that didn't match the menacing look in his eyes.
Turning his back to his brother, he took my hand, gripping it hard he dragged me through the halls of the castle. He was angry. "Won't we greet your parents, Your Highness?" I asked.
Lucian came to a halt and his grip on my hand loosened. "My mother is dead," he said his voice void of any emotion, "and the King, do not worry about him, he does not matter," he added then started walking again, only this time he didn't drag me.
As we strode through the halls with Lucian still holding my hand two maids appeared in front of us.
"Your Highness," they greeted with a bow. "With your permission, we would like to prepare Her Highness." They inquired.
Prepare me for what? Preparing is what I have been doing my entire life.
At first, Lucian didn't let go of my hand, but when the maids gave him a pleading look he released me and left without a word.
The maids motioned for me to follow them and led me to a dressing room where they helped me get out of my wedding dress and slip into a beautiful white nightgown with its matching robe, both made of silk. They took out the pins in my hair and let it fall in waves. After putting some scents onto my skin, they served me tea.
"What's this?" I asked.
"It's a herb tea that will help you relax and decrease the pain, Your Highness."
"What pain?" I said, but then realized what they were talking about.
They must have seen the horror on my face because I could see pity on theirs. Why did they pity me? Was he going to be rough with me? Well, he didn't seem like the gentle type from the way he gripped my wrist earlier. It was as if his hand was made of steel.
"I don't need it," I said and stood up straight. "Just take me to the chamber". They hesitated but then followed my orders and led me to our private chamber where they sat me down on the bed. Adjusting my hair and gown they took one last look to see if everything was perfect.
"We will inform His Highness that you are ready," they informed and left.
The worst scenarios appeared in my head and my heart pounded so hard in my chest that it was getting difficult to breathe. My hands started to sweat and my head began to spin. I waited for what seemed like hours but was likely just minutes.
After the long wait, the door finally opened and Lucian stepped inside. Closing the door behind him he just stood there for a while, studying me with those odd eyes of his before approaching me slowly. "Aren't you tired?" he asked standing a few steps away.
"I am, Your Highness."
"Lucian," he corrected.
"Lucian," I repeated, in barely a whisper.
"Then we should go to sleep," he said and lay down on the bed next to where I sat. "I am tired too."
Lucian looked at the woman in front of him. She looked so frightened. He wondered if she was scared for the obvious reasons, or if she was scared because she had heard the rumors about him. Either way, he didn't blame her. Most people feared him, even his own father. He never dared to look his son in the eyes. Lucian always wondered what he had done to make his father fear him.
He always knew that he was different. He had even scared himself when he was a little boy, when he had discovered what he could do.
When he, for the first time, moved an object with just a thought, or when he had wished his brother could burn, and then suddenly his brothers' clothes were on fire. Everyone rushing to help him get out of the flaming clothes. That day he had been terrified. Running to his room he had cried in a corner, wishing he could talk to someone about it. But who? His father feared and hated him; he would just scare him even more, and his mother was dead. He wondered how she would react.
His brothers used to play with him at first, but then when they got older and started their training, they noticed he was faster, stronger and a better fighter. He was also a very skilled swordsman; his teachers always praised him. But his brothers, they mocked him, telling him to stop cheating. ′Cheating is what the Devil does,′ they would say.
The maids had mixed feelings about him. They were as attracted to him as they were scared. Some of them liked the thrill, the danger. The young ones would give him seductive glances, but the older maids would warn them. Be careful,' they would say, tempting people and making them sin is what he does.' Some would listen some wouldn't.
The only people who didn't fear him or hate him were his men. His soldiers. They were tough men who didn't believe in rumors. They respected him. Still, they weren't his family; he could only talk business with them.
Lucian looked at the woman now laying beside him. The woman who was his family now. She was laying so far out on the edge he was afraid she would fall from the bed. She didn't even move, she was so stiff. Even though he told her to sleep, he could still hear her heart beating wildly inside her chest.
She had surprised him earlier with her bold questions. He liked her so far; she amused him. Lucian remembered the look on her face when he told her that he had mistresses. She was probably the jealous type. I guess I like jealous, he thought, smiling to himself. And when she played the flute, and when she had whispered his name.
Now she was as timid as a rabbit. That, he didn't like. That night I had a dream. I was running, terrified. I was running for my life, and something was chasing me. Something dark. Something with intent to kill. I couldn't see it but I could feel its presence. It wanted me. It was hungry and angry and it wouldn't stop hunting me until it caught me. I ran so fast that I stumbled on my own feet and fell. It was close now; it would catch me.
A dark figure slowly appeared from the shadows. It had red eyes and horns. Black horns, curling like the devils. It stretched its hands toward me. I could see its nails that looked more like claws. They were coming closer. I shrieked a high, panicked sound. It had caught me, and now it was shaking me.
"My Lady! My Lady!" a gentle voice urged. I shot my eyes open with a gasp and found Lucian looming over me.
"You're ok," He assured, brushing something away from my face. "It was just a dream."
I was panting and sweat dripped down my face. I was scared and confused. Lucian pulled me to his chest. He held me in his arms and stroke my hair.
"It's alright." He whispered softly. "Relax and sleep."
Eventually, as I lay in his arms, my heartbeat returned to a steady rhythm and I fell asleep once again.
When I woke up a few maids were already in the room but there was no sign of Lucian. I remembered last night while the maids helped me get prepared. I was surprised at the fact that I was still untouched. He. hadn't even tried. He must have been tired from the long journey, but tonight there was no escape. Maybe I should talk to him and tell him that I wasn't ready yet, I thought. The question was how.
I got out of the bed and the maids helped me bathe and get dressed.
"His Highness wants you to join him for breakfast, My Lady," One of the maids informed when she was done with my hair.
"Lead the way," I said.
The maid led me to the garden just outside the room. There Lucian was standing with his back toward me and his arms crossed behind his back.
"Your Highness?"
He turned around and I couldn't understand why my heart skipped a beat. "My Lady, did you have a good night's sleep?" "I did, Your Highness. How about you?" He probably didn't, but it felt courteous to ask. I must have disturbed him with my dream.
"I have slept well. Do you mind having breakfast with me?" I didn't expect him to be so polite. "I would love to," I answered with a smile.
The breakfast smelled and looked delicious. There were several dishes and their food wasn't much different from ours back home. But because of the knots in my stomach that still refused to go away, I couldn't eat much. Instead, I would glance at the garden now and then. It was beautiful. There was a gorgeous range of flowers; roses, daisies, daffodils. Carved hedged depicted strange shapes all around the space.
We had a beautiful garden back home too, but it was nothing compared to this.
Suddenly Lucian stood up from his seat and walked over to me, holding his hand out for me to grasp.
"Walk with me," he said and I blushed. He must have noticed me ogling the garden, but how could I not. Back home I rarely went outside because of my fathers' strict rules and now I was walking through the most beautiful garden I have ever seen.
"You never go out?" he asked, with a curious expression.
"No, my father would not allow it."
"So you have always been at home?"
"Yes," was my short reply.
"Well, you can walk around here anytime. It's our personal garden" He said with a charming smile.
"Really?" My voice was colored with excitement and surprise. He nodded.
After walking for a while in silence, I decided now was the best time to bring up the consummation.
"Your Highness?"
"Yes?"
"About the wedding consummation, I...I'm not ready yet." I looked down quickly, afraid to meet his gaze. My heart pounded in my ears as I waited for an answer. A laugh, an angry exclamation, anything.
"I know, it's alright," he said gently. I looked up in surprise and breathed out in relief.
"I could just go to one of my mistresses to satisfy my needs." He added. The smile on my face died and I clenched my fists. Why was I getting angry? He could go wherever he wanted and fool around with whoever he wanted. He could go to hell. Suddenly he laughed. What was so funny?
"If you don't want me to go, then tell me." He said leaning closer.
"I don't want you to go" I repeated.
Shocked at my own outburst, I put a hand over my mouth. He laughed again.
Eventually, he stopped laughing. "Hazel," he said stepping closer and gazing into my eyes.
He knew my name.
Of course. Men got always more informed about their spouses then women. Unfair.
"I promise you one thing and I will stand by my word. I will treat you well." He then took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles, his flaming eyes never leaving mine. My heart fluttered inside my chest.
Dropping my hand,"I have to go, make yourself at home." He said before walking away. A maid showed me around. The castle had several quarters. Every prince and his family had their own quarters and their own household staff, including servants, cooks, and guards. I had already looked around our personal garden and I especially liked the white swing with a ceiling, surrounded by white and pink roses in a half-circle.
We then went through the halls that led to several smaller halls. The smaller halls had several doors that led to different rooms. One hall led to the kitchen, the pantry, and the storeroom. Another hall led to the guest room and the dining room, and another one led to the library and study. There were several other halls, but we went through the hall that led to our private chamber and the bathrooms. Inside our chamber, there were doors that led to other rooms. The maid opened one of them and I went inside. It was the dressing room from yesterday.
"This is the boudoir. It's your personal room when you want to be alone, My Lady." She explained.
"His Highness has one too." She continued gesturing to the door at the other end of the room. I decided to take a look once the maid left but the door was locked. Why did he lock his room? As I walked out of the chamber, a little boy bumped into my leg and fell backward. He stood up quickly. "I am sorry, My Lady," he said, wide-eyed.
"It's Alright" I smiled. He had short blonde hair and his big brown eyes stared innocently at her. "Who are you?"
"I am Prince Pierre's son. My name is Levi, My lady." I couldn't help but smile at his cuteness. "I am looking for uncle Lucian." He called him by his first name. They must be very close I thought. "His Highness is not here," I said with a gentle smile. "Do you want to leave a message for him? I am his wife."
"Can I wait for him here?" He asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.
"Yes, of course. Come," I said and led him to the garden. "I am having lunch soon; are you hungry?"
He nodded.
"Sit down," I urged. The maids served us lunch – including baked potatoes and grilled chicken with vegetables.
"Please don't tell my father I have been here, My Lady." He pleaded. "Father doesn't like me being here."
"Why not?" I asked curious.
"He says Uncle Lucian is a bad man."
Bad man? Why would his brother say something like that about him?
"Then why don't you listen to your father? Why don't you stay away?" I asked, treading carefully.
"Because I like being with uncle Lucian. He is nice to me even though he's not nice anymore." He said timidly.
"Why not?"
"I don't know, he just tells me I shouldn't be here, he tells me to go away." He looked hurt.
"What about the rest of your uncles? Why don't you accompany them?" "I just like uncle Lucian."
"Levi!" someone shouted and shortly after a woman barged in. The maids behind her, wore an apologetic look on their face.
I stood up from my seat, and the woman looked me up and down. "Mother," Levi said stiffly, standing up.
"Come here!" She ordered, and he walked up to her. She put a hand on his shoulder. "I told you not to come here," She scolded him. "Go now."
Levi left running away quickly. Poor child, I thought.
The woman then turned to me. "I am Princess Elsa, the Crown Prince's first wife," She said straightening her shoulders and neck as if challenging me with her superiority. "It's nice to meet you, Princess Elsa. I am Princess Hazel," I replied courteously, trying my best to not offend her. I didn't want conflict this early on.
"My son won't disturb you anymore," she said, with finality. "Feel free to visit if you ever feel alone, my quarter is next to yours."
"Maybe I will," I said, and then she turned around elegantly with a high chin and left.
After having my lunch I went to the white swing in the garden and lay down while looking up the sky. I had many questions and thoughts that bothered me. Why would Lucian's brother say something like that about him? Yesterday, they looked as though they were willing to attack each other. I remembered the menacing look in Lucian's eyes, so different from the soft look he gave me today when he kissed my hand. My heart fluttered at the memory.