Market~
Since it's a coastal city, the market has an incredibly rich variety of fish, many of which Shiro had never seen before.
The upperclassmen gave them a task: each person had to choose the ingredients they needed and make one dish! (Except for Shiro—he was the one in charge of cooking the rice…)
"So why the hell are you following me?! Weren't we supposed to split up and move around freely?"
Iori snapped at Shiro with a murderous glare.
This guy had been tagging along ever since they split up, so how was he supposed to carry out his plan?!
"Ha~ Like I want to follow you, alright? I'm just making sure I'm safe. Who knows what weird stuff you might buy. Besides, I'm only in charge of cooking the rice—I don't need to buy anything."
Shiro was eyeing a fish at a stall and then gently put it back.
For some reason, the fishmonger's eyes looked a bit intimidating, like he was part of some underworld gang… though that pink apron really ruined the image.
"That's exactly why a guy like you, who can't cook, should've just stayed at home and watched the place!"
"How can you say something so heartless? By the way, what are you even trying to do?"
Shiro still didn't get it—why was this guy suddenly trying to poison them? Was it a debt issue?
But didn't he only owe him money? Was he just sending two more people to the grave with him as companions?
Shiro was super curious!
"..."
Iori didn't answer. Like hell he was going to tell this scumbag anything!
Seeing his expression, Shiro didn't press the issue. Rather than asking directly, he preferred doing his own investigation.
He wasn't in charge of cooking, so he had plenty of free time—perfect for killing boredom (??ω??)
...
The two of them continued wandering through the market. The sheer variety of ingredients dazzled them.
"What are you planning to cook?"
"I don't know. There's too much. Maybe we should check what the others are buying?"
Right now, Iori just wanted to shake Shiro off and go find out where they sold poisonous fish!
Suddenly, he spotted a familiar figure with purple hair. "Azusa-senpai looks like she's over there. I'll go ask her!"
Without waiting for Shiro to respond, he dashed off. His plan was to observe what Azusa bought and then slip away quietly with the crowd.
"Wait—"
Watching Iori run off into the distance, Shiro silently pulled out his phone.
GPS tracking mode activated!
Detective Shiro is online!
As a professionally trained person, knowing a little bit about tracking was perfectly normal~
Shiro secretly tailed Iori. He wanted to see what this guy was up to—that way he could get the right antidote in time!
As he got closer, he overheard Azusa talking to the stall owner.
"I want to eat some oji-san~"
!!!
{{(°△°; "}}!
That one line shocked all three onlookers: Iori, who was just about to sneak away; Aina, who was about to greet Azusa; and Shiro, who was tailing them.
The three of them stared blankly at Azusa...
What the hell was going on?!
Why had everyone started acting so weird since entering this market?!
Shiro was dumbfounded. He knew Azusa well—she might be a bit carefree and loud, but there's no way she'd say something like that.
Especially not to some random middle-aged man!
Could this guy be using hypnotism?
Or was Azusa a Tokyo Ghoul?!
Each of the three reacted differently.
Aina, with a face full of existential crisis, slowly backed away—probably planning to share this with her two buddies.
Iori, pretending nothing happened, crouched down and slinked off to the next location.
Azusa was too scary right now!
Shiro, on the other hand, no longer cared about Iori—he needed answers!
"Stop right there!"
He strode forward and pulled Azusa behind him, then turned to glare furiously at the fish stall owner.
"You scumbag! Hypnotizing an innocent girl like that—I won't let you get away with it!"
The stall owner stared blankly at this righteous young man. "Hypnotizing an innocent girl? Bro, we don't sell that kind of fish here."
"Fish? Damn it, that's your codeword, huh?!"
Shiro looked tense, scanning the surroundings. The guy might be working with a whole gang!
"Um, Shiro…"
"Azusa-nee, don't say anything. I'll protect you!"
"But—"
"No buts! Just trust me, Azusa-nee!"
"..."
With more and more people gathering to watch, Azusa silently took out a face mask from her pocket and put it on. Then she picked up a book next to the fish stall.
Poke poke~
Shiro, tense and alert, immediately turned to see what she was doing.
He saw a page in a fish guidebook… one that explained that in Okinawa, there's a type of fish nicknamed "oji-san."
╭(°A°`)╮
Shiro stared at the picture for a few seconds, frozen.
Looking around at the crowd he had just drawn, Shiro suddenly understood the meaning of social death. And more than anything, he wanted to strangle his past self from just a few minutes ago for yelling so loudly!
Why had his younger, dumber self been so loud?! Also… is there a time machine nearby?
"Azusa-nee, what's that on your face?"
"A mask."
"Why are you wearing a mask?"
"Well… maybe because I don't want to show up on Okinawa's evening news?"
Shiro fell silent, fumbling in his pocket, hoping to find a mask for himself too—but all he found were IOUs.
Too late now—there was no other choice.
He rushed into the fish stall, rummaging through everything. He'd just bitten his tongue and realized it wasn't a dream. That meant—he had to find a time machine!
"Shiro, what are you looking for…"
"A time machine!"
"..."
Azusa seriously considered just walking away. Who told him there'd be a time machine in a fish stall?! Doraemon?
Seriously, this fish stall didn't even have a drawer. Saying there's a Ponyo inside would've been more believable than a time machine!
Under the stall owner's increasingly murderous glare, Azusa silently dragged Shiro away, who had just been trying to pry open a king crab's shell.
This is ridiculous. Why would there be a time machine inside a king crab?!
"??????!!!"
Amid a high-frequency stream of profanity from the stall owner, the two finally left the fish stall—Azusa's precious oji-san fish completely out of reach…
Pinch!
"You little brat—did you come here just to mess things up?!"
Azusa pinched Shiro's cheeks, pulling them hard. She didn't usually care much about public attention, but… this was just too outrageous!
All she'd done was talk about buying a fish. Why did this guy start looking for a time machine?!
"Uuuu X﹏X It was an accident! I really didn't know that's how they named fish in Okinawa… You guys never told us!"
Shiro protested in a small voice. They weren't gangsters—why were they using codewords like that? What if someone said, "I want to eat some fish," would that mean—
(′｀;)?
"You didn't know?"
"Should we have?"
(???)
"...Then what did you guys do with the books we gave you before?"
The upperclassmen had given them books introducing Okinawa right after they arrived—those books definitely had that info!
Only then did Shiro remember. Those books… seemed to have been used as bricks. Nothing else.
"Umm… ahahahaha, looks like Iori might be in trouble over there! I'll just go check! Azusa-nee, you go ahead and keep looking for 'oji-san'!"
Shiro immediately fled. If you can't explain yourself, just run!
Damn it!
In the time he wasn't paying attention, that idiot Kitahara had already run off so far—he had to catch up quick!
...
.....................…..
"So, what exactly are you doing?"
"Being a detective! Kids shouldn't talk!"
Shiro waved his hand impatiently. Why did he have to bump into Aina, that little dummy, here of all places?
"…You guys sure are having fun."
Looking at Iori crouched not far away, Aina could already guess these two idiots were up to something weird again.
But this time, she had no intention of getting involved. She didn't come here for those two.
Earlier, after Aina had returned, she told her two friends what she had heard—but even she found it unbelievable, thinking she had probably misheard.
So she came looking for Tokita to confirm it. But then she stumbled across the two fools…
"Forget it, I'm ignoring you."
With that, Aina ran toward Tokita. "Senior Toki—"
"I want Hamazaki's wife."
{{(°△°; "}}!
Aina, who had just started speaking, was suddenly stunned and completely speechless. She was sure this time—she hadn't misheard!
Senior Tokita… he's into married women?!
And isn't this a fish stall?! Why would someone confess their love for married women here?!
Aina's mind was cracking as she stumbled back toward her friends—this was huge, she had to tell them!
Shiro was utterly confused.
From his spot behind Iori and Aina, he only saw Tokita's lips move, and then both girls froze up. That reaction… was definitely not normal…
Wait… what kind of misunderstanding are they having this time?
Now he was seriously curious about what kind of fish Senior Tokita was trying to buy.
Ahead of him, Iori seemed to have been struck by something and continued creeping forward. A blond-haired beast was waiting for them ahead!
This time, Shiro had carefully chosen a position where he could hear what was going on. At the same time… he got a clear look at Aina, Kohei, and Chisa's faces…
So the newbies hadn't been shopping at all. Instead, they'd gathered in a very bizarre way, and clearly hadn't read the strategy guide given by their seniors!
The three of them stood in a triangle formation… surrounding Kotobuki.
Now…
They were just waiting for him to speak!
"Give me a sexy high school girl!"
{{(°△°; "}}!!!
Aina and Kohei's faces twisted in horror. No matter how many times they heard something like this, it was just too unbelievable. Sure, this kind of thing might be legal in Japan, but openly asking for high school girls like this was way too far!
Also—why would a fish stall secretly offer that kind of service?!
Shiro held a fish encyclopedia in his hands, his expression bizarre. Even though he knew they were fish names… he still had an urge to call the cops. Why, though?
As for Iori?
From Shiro's perspective, it was like Iori had opened up all his brain pathways—he looked like he'd had a sudden realization. Shiro got a bad feeling that this guy was about to do something ridiculous again…
Unfortunately, just as Iori was about to stand up, he suddenly locked eyes with Shiro.
Both of them froze. A strange brainwave started to flow between them.
'Why the hell are you here, you bastard?!'
'We agreed to work together, partner!'
'Who's your partner, you bastard! I went out of my way to hide and you still found me?'
'Come on, Kitahara~ it's called technology~'
Shiro smugly held up his phone, showing the GPS tracking app.
The professionalism left Iori speechless—why the hell would anyone use this level of tech… just to track him?
'Let's work together, Kitahara!'
'Work together?'
'Yeah. I don't care about your motive anymore, I just want the antidote. Kohei and the others will still get poisoned otherwise!'
Shiro gave Iori a reassuring look. Deep down, he was already planning how to interrogate him once they saved Kohei and the others.
'Alright then, let's do it!'
Iori agreed—but he was already prepared to bribe Shiro with either cash or a stick if necessary.
Meanwhile, the trio had shifted their attention elsewhere. Shiro thought they were getting ready to leave (Chisa was explaining the fish code to Kohei and Aina)…
That's when he and Iori stepped out—heading straight to the same fish stall!
Just then, the trio finally understood what was going on, and under their watchful gazes, Shiro and Iori announced their plan…
"I want a poisonous fish that can knock out a full-grown man with one bite!"
"I want a fish that can cure the poison from that fish!"
"… … …"
The vendor's smile froze on his face. His veins bulged as he gripped a fish, holding back his rage with sheer willpower.
"I don't have the kind of fish you're talking about…"
"What?! Isn't this market supposed to have the largest fish variety?!"
"What?! I thought with poisons, there's always an antidote nearby!"
＼(`Δ')／
The vendor couldn't take it anymore.
"You little punks came here to mess with me, didn't you?! What kind of market would sell poisonous fish?! You think the ocean is your own personal backyard or something?!"
Seeing the fish in his hand, Shiro and Iori chose to flee on the spot. At the same time, they put a big red X over the 'Okinawa Market Services' in their minds. The vendor was raging like a totally un-Japanese person!
…
Back at the villa—
In the end, Shiro and the others only bought some basic items. Well… if you consider a pig's head "basic."
Since Shiro didn't know how to cook, he just bought an entire pig's head. And now, he was being scolded fiercely by Azusa.
"Why did you bring your friend's head back?!"
"For cooking!"
"…Do you think anyone here knows how to cook that?!"
"I do!"
(-ι_- )
Looking at Shiro's proud expression, Azusa swore—she really wanted to mount his "friend's" head right onto his own stupid neck. Who among them was qualified to cook such a thing?!
Meanwhile, Iori and Kohei were arguing again…
"Spying on people while they shop isn't a good habit!"
"Yeah, well it's better than someone trying to buy poisonous fish!"
"You were definitely planning something shady again!"
"Why don't you ask Kamishiro?! He was part of it too!"
"I wasn't! I was trying to save everyone!"
"That's not what you said at the time!"
"(′｀;)?What did I say? I didn't say anything, Kitahara~ Maybe you misunderstood my look. That look was telling you to stop~(??ω??)"
"You're scum!"
Iori was totally stunned. How could someone be this shameless? They were totally in sync earlier—brainwaves and all—and now he's denying it?!
Not human, seriously!
Damn it… the poisonous fish plan is a bust!
.....................…..
"We failed, huh."
"I know, we failed. We'll have to think of another way. Got any ideas?"
"Not yet, but there's one thing I'm wondering about."
"What is it?"
"Why am I even discussing this with you?! Are we even that close?!"
Iori kept shaking Shiro, who had been yapping beside him from the start. Everything he was doing was meant to guard against these three idiots!!!
"What are you talking about? We're partners!"
"Who's your partner?! Your partner is that pig head, not me!"
"I won't allow you to insult yourself like that!"
"…You damn troll, you're doing this on purpose."
Looking at Shiro's innocent and sincere expression, Iori had the overwhelming urge to strangle him. This guy's acting non-stop, twenty-four seven!
"Alrighty~ everyone come draw a stick~"
Just then, Azusa appeared holding a bunch of slips. The three upperclassmen had already drawn theirs—two 1s and one 3.
"What's this?"
"Ah, the kitchen's too small, so we decided to split up into teams. Same number means you're a team~"
The two beastly senpai flashed the slips in their hands—they were group 1.
"I see."
"Then we just need to draw one each, right?"
"Me, me! I love drawing lots!"
Hearing the word "draw," Shiro completely forgot about Iori. Time to test his luck!
Smack!
A slender hand swatted away Shiro's piggy hoof. "Not for you."
?!!
"Why?!"
Shiro panicked—this was discrimination!
(｀ー′)
"…You're the one cooking rice. All you need is a rice cooker, so you don't take up any kitchen space~"
Pfft~
Aika and Kohei couldn't hold back their laughter. The mocking look on their faces was priceless.
"Well, it can't be helped. It's Kamishiro, after all."
"Yeah, best if he just waits for dinner."
＼(`Δ')／
Shiro couldn't take it anymore. Their expressions were way too condescending!
"You just wait! There's a master rice chef in Japan too, don't underestimate the power of rice!"
"Pfft, just internet hype."
"Yeah, it's just white rice. Can it even have other flavors?"
"..."
Shiro fell silent, staring at their ugly, smug faces. Hugging his pig head, he headed outside.
(ﾉω<)!
These people have no artisan spirit whatsoever! Just you wait—I will make this pig head dish a success!
Iori witnessed the whole mocking affair from the side. Exactly like that!
If he failed his diving license exam, they'd definitely make those same faces!
The more he thought about it, the more anxious he became. He needed a comeback plan—and now that the biggest obstacle (Shiro) had walked off with his pig head, this was his chance!
Draw lots?
Yes, the draw!
Iori began praying fervently.
"Please let me be in the same group as Chisa. Please let me be in the same group as Chisa…"
Only if he got grouped with Chisa could he secretly ask her for a crash course that night!
{{(°△°; "}}!
Chisa, who was eavesdropping, was so startled she took two steps back. She suddenly feared for her life.
"Oh God, please answer me!"
With his prayers done, Iori drew his number.
Number 2!
Same as Chisa!
A golden miracle!
"Ahahahahaha! Look, Chisa! We're a team!"
Iori was overjoyed—happier than if he had won the lottery!
"Aina, let's switch."
"Eh…"
Chisa couldn't take it anymore. Iori's expression was way too creepy!
"Why would you say that, Chisa?! Let's cook together, happily and joyfully!"
Watching Iori bite down on his number slip, Kohei and the others felt a deep urge to throw up. This guy was definitely up to no good!
Shiro, attracted by Iori's loud voice, wandered back looking confused at his creepiness.
"What's going on? Is he having an episode?"
"Ah, I think Iori purposely teamed up with Chisa to make Kohei jealous—but he's going way over the top."
?━=͟͟͞͞ (꒪⌓꒪*)
Shiro looked at Iori and Kohei in disbelief. Did Azusa just casually drop a bombshell?!
Has Iori finally fallen to the Great Rainbow Club?
"By the way, what are you going to do with your pig head?"
Azusa raised her question—she had seen Shiro carry it outside earlier.
"…Can you stop calling it 'your pig head'? That sounds really weird."
"Oh right, pig head, what's your plan?"
(′｀;)?
Why does it still sound weird? Whatever, there's no way she's talking about me!
"Hehehe, just you wait. I found a super amazing braised pig head recipe. I'm going to make the whole thing in one go—it's perfect for drinking!"
Shiro held his head high, absolutely proud. He had even called his mom—whom he hadn't spoken to in years—for the recipe!
Although he got yelled at, that didn't matter—the recipe was what counted!
Well… she did seem like she wanted to say something else, but he decided to put that aside. He often writes letters home even if he doesn't visit much. Everything seemed normal back home. They even added a few new plots of land…
Maybe one day he could build a villa there. That actually sounds pretty comfy~
Azusa eyed him suspiciously. She had seen his attempt at okonomiyaki. And he wanted to braise a whole pig head?
"…Do you even know the first step?"
"Of course I do! First, you sear it with fire! Don't worry, Azusa-nee—I've got this!"
Shiro patted his chest confidently. Don't underestimate a man's culinary genes! Even if he never cooked in his past life, he's got an archive full of master chef videos!
He's watched those cooking videos dozens of times—there's no way he'll mess up!
As for the okonomiyaki?
That's just because it didn't match the style of the videos he watched! That's all!
"…I'll go with you and watch."
Azusa wasn't reassured. The trauma from Shiro's previous cooking attempt still haunted her.
Using normal ingredients to create something from hell… and now he was using a pig head?
What fresh horror awaited?
Seeing Azusa's disbelief, Shiro had no choice. Fine, she could come see it for herself!
"Let's go. I already lit the fire out front."
…
At the fire pit, Azusa stared at the burning pig head with a baffled expression.
"This is your pig head?"
The scorched black head was engulfed in flames—its eyes, mouth, and ears emitting fiery tongues. Azusa was utterly broken inside.
This wasn't the smell of hell.
This was summoning a demon straight from hell.
If they called the cops now, would they uncover some secret underworld force in Japan? Or maybe they should just call a shrine?
"..."
Shiro quietly turned away.
"That's definitely not the pig I bought!"
"Stop denying it!!! You're the only one who even bought a pig head!!!"
.....................…..
"Geez, Shiro, it's all burnt now. That's really going to affect the flavor, you know."
Right now, Azusa and Shiro were each holding a steel scrubber, scrubbing away at the pig's head. It had taken them forever just to rescue the poor thing from the fire.
By the time Tokita's group had already finished their part, they had only just managed to scrub off the charred areas on the pig's head...
"I couldn't help it! How was I supposed to know pig heads burn so easily…? I remember my family used to roast them like this all the time…"
Whack!
"Ow, that hurt!"
Azusa gave the guy a swift chop to the head—he hadn't considered at all that the shop owner had already prepped the pig's head.
These pig heads meant for sale were usually already cleaned, okay?! Most people would just use a blowtorch to char it. Who the hell throws it straight into a bonfire?!
"By the way, do we even have a pot big enough to stew this pig's head?"
Azusa looked around. She was pretty sure she hadn't seen a pot that huge lying around earlier.
"Oh, I borrowed one from the owner."
Shiro pointed to a large iron pot nearby. The shop owner had been nice enough to lend it to him for free.
"…You're surprisingly thorough, huh. Why didn't you just stew it at the shop then? Fine, go grab the seasoning. With luck, we might be able to eat this by tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?!"
"Yeah, what, you thought we'd be eating it today?"
"Uh… can't we?"
(???)
Azusa stared at the guy in disbelief. He really didn't know a thing.
"GO GET THE SEASONING!!!"
"On it!"
This time Shiro didn't hesitate and dashed into the villa. Azusa seemed extra fiery today... was she hitting menopause or something?
...
Meanwhile, Iori had come up with a brilliant idea—ask Chisa to help him practice!
She was the only one among them who wouldn't make fun of him, after all.
And so, fully focused on impressing Chisa, Iori completely failed to notice Aina creeping up behind him.
"Can I be with you? (To practice)"
╭(°A°`)╮!
Aina, who had just come to get some tea, squatted down in shock the moment she heard that. She clutched her mouth, her whole face screaming disbelief!
She kept trying to convince herself she'd misheard—or maybe it was some kind of code, like when they were shopping for groceries?
"I'm gradually falling for you. (Scuba diving)"
(′?`)
This time, there was no misunderstanding!!!
Aina had heard it loud and clear. That was a confession, no doubt about it! Her beautiful love story—was it already over?!
Her first crush… her first real friend…
No! It wasn't over yet! Chisa hadn't responded!
She remembered very clearly—when she'd asked Chisa about Iori before, Chisa had shown such a disgusted expression.
It couldn't have been fake!
Sorry, Iori—but please, Chisa, say no!
"I'm so happy~"
X﹏X
EHHHHHH?!
Chisa betrayed her!
"But… (without Nee-san's guidance) am I really good enough?"
"Yeah, you're the only one I (can rely on) now."
"..."
Aina didn't even listen to the rest. Like a balloon losing air, she drifted back to where Kouhei was, quietly mourning the cruelty of fate.
"He used to hate her guts!"
(′｀;)?
"What's wrong, Zombie Beast?"
"I don't want to be the one to say it…"
"...Probably just another dumb misunderstanding."
Kouhei sighed. He'd been through plenty of those already. Nothing new.
He stood up and headed toward Iori. If it was a misunderstanding, he'd just ask and clear it up.
"Bind with me!"
{{(°△°; ")}}!
Just as Kouhei arrived and opened his mouth to speak—he heard something absolutely explosive.
He immediately crouched down, his mind spinning. Was Zombie Beast telling the truth after all?!
Did this idiot awaken to some special fetish?! Damn it, when did that happen?!
Wait no, it might still be a misunderstanding. Let's listen a bit more…
"Please step on me without holding back!"
?━=????(??? ????)
CONFIRMED!
No room for doubt now!
This idiot really awakened to some kind of kinky fetish!
"Yo, Kouhei! What are you doing he—mmpf!"
Just as Shiro arrived and was about to say hi, Kouhei yanked him down and covered his mouth.
Shiro looked at him in total confusion—clearly not understanding what the hell was going on.
A spy mission?
Kouhei looked at him in despair. He said nothing—just pointed at Iori and shook his head as he slinked away.
(′｀;)?
Shiro was even more confused now. What the hell did that mean?
But whatever—more importantly, the pig head still needed cooking!
"So why are you working so hard anyway?"
"Well, it's kinda embarrassing, but… I just want to be with the others! (I don't want them to laugh at me.)"
Σ(????)?
Just as Shiro was about to get up, he squatted back down instantly. "The others"? As in, guys? Who are "they"??
Was this what Kouhei tried to warn him about?
"You all seem really close."
"Haha, we mess around all the time. Please don't tell them, Chisa. If they find out, it might ruin everything between us! (The teasing and getting teased...)"
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ!!!
Shiro's face froze in horror. Th-this was that intense?!
Iori… had awakened?
No way—had he been secretly going to the Great Rainbow Swinger's Club behind their backs?!
Shiro's legs started trembling… And those "they" he mentioned—it probably wasn't Tokita's group…
Looking toward the kitchen with the spices, Shiro gave up. Going in now would be walking straight into the lion's den!!!
Shiro collapsed onto the sofa like a ragdoll.
"That guy really awakened! (♂Bro love!)"
"Never thought he'd awaken to this! (Masochist!)"
"So he really did awaken… (to love, huh…)"
The three of them fell into an awkward silence.
They had never imagined their dear friend had… taken such a plunge into darkness.
…
"I'm back~"
"Welcome back~"
Nanaka had returned. It was time for the last group to make dinner. Azusa had even swapped turns with Kouhei earlier.
But now, she wasn't in the mood to cook.
Her eyes wandered to the sofa…
There sat Shiro and the others, all staring dead-on at Iori, their minds clearly spinning out of control.
'I have to help Iori pass…'
'Iori confessed to Chisa…'
'Kitahara awakened to masochism…'
'This idiot has become a man♂…'
The mood was electric. How could she possibly cook at a time like this?!
"Iori, what the hell did you do this time?!"
"Nothing, really…"
Iori was just as confused. All he did was cook dinner… probably?
.....................…..
Nighttime.
Everyone should be lost in their sweet dreams by now～
"Fuu!"
Originally deep in a lovely dream date, Shiro suddenly jolted upright!
Just as things were about to get good, the girl suddenly turned into a pig's head!
Do you know how much psychological damage that can cause a boy?!
After a moment of confusion,
Shiro glanced at the two big sisters cuddled up to him on either side and slowly came to his senses.
Wait... he didn't even need to dream for this, huh?
Wasn't this way more thrilling than a dream?
However!
That dream must have been a sign!
Shiro's squinted eyes gleamed dangerously — someone was trying to steal his pig's head!
That pig's head was proof of his dream to become a god-tier chef — he couldn't let some schemer (like Iori, Kouhei, etc.) ruin it!
Mimicking his first sneaky operation, he carefully slipped out of his warm paradise. He had to find out who was trying to steal his pig's head!
It must be that idiot Kitahara. He was sleeping in the living room tonight — that bastard must have gotten hungry in the middle of the night!
Shiro tiptoed into the living room.
And sure enough!
The spot where Iori had been was now empty!
"Splish, glug glug, splash～"
Strange noises came from the direction of the pool.
Damn it, not only did that bastard steal his pig head, now he's eating it by the pool too?!
Shiro's mind immediately conjured up a vivid image of Iori, naked, sitting in the pool with a plate of meat floating in front of him, eating meat and drinking sake while reciting poetry to the moon.
!!!
Even I couldn't enjoy life this much!
Pulling out the sleeping powder he always carried with him, Shiro prepared to give the bastard a little surprise attack!
He slowly approached the pool. He had to… he had to...
{{(°△°; "}}!
He had to call the cops!!!
Instead of the poetic scene he imagined, what met Shiro's eyes was the site of an outright murder!
Chisa and Aina were stomping on Kitahara's head, trying to drown him in the pool!
Maybe... maybe he should just go back to bed?
Click!
A flash went off — Shiro had instinctively taken a picture!
Instantly, Chisa and Aina locked their eyes onto Shiro!
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ!
Shiro stared at his hand in horror. He had unconsciously snapped a photo!
Seeing the two girls' increasingly dangerous (shocked and panicked) expressions, his brain raced at full speed.
Think, Shiro, THINK! If you don't come up with an excuse, you're going to end up drowned along with Kitahara! Just imagine Chisa and Aina using their feet to stomp on your...
...Why did that sound kinda exciting?
GOT IT!
With Chisa and Aina looking at him in total confusion, Shiro staggered away, snapping pictures as he walked, pretending to be sleepwalking!
After all, with his permanently squinted eyes, no one could really tell if he was awake or asleep!
Perfect!
Shiro, you're a genius!
However, the path of genius is never smooth... Before he had walked very far, Shiro bumped into something.
He cracked his eyes open a little — and was met by Kitahara's ghastly face.
╭(°A°`)╮
"Holy crap! You turned into a ghost so fast?!"
"You're the ghost, you bastard!"
"How did the water ghost get out of the pool?!"
"What the hell kind of fantasy are you running with, idiot? I'm training, damn it!"
"Stay away from me! I'm sleepwalking!"
"You think we're that stupid?!"
"..."
After a heated scuffle, Shiro was finally "convinced" and understood the situation...
"So you're seriously practicing diving?"
Shiro looked at Iori, completely bewildered. That earlier scene had clearly looked like a murder attempt!
"Of course! Why else would I be wearing diving goggles?!"
Iori waved the goggles in his hand. No way would Chisa and Aina give him goggles just to enjoy the scenery before he drowned!
"...What are you even trying to achieve?"
"Isn't it obvious?! It's because of you three bastards! If you guys found out, you'd totally laugh at me!"
"...Do you want to count again how many 'three bastards' are actually here?"
"..."
Iori clutched his face in agony. If Kouhei had been here too, it would've made a full set!
"Please, don't tell Kouhei about this."
He gave up. Still... even if just one person didn't know, it was better than nothing.
Smack!
Shiro solemnly slapped Iori on the shoulder and said loudly, "Don't worry! I'll absolutely not tell Kouhei that you can't pass the diving test!"
"..."
That extremely loud declaration threw the whole scene into dead silence.
"You trying to tell him in his dream, you bastard?!"
"That was definitely not my intention…"
(;?＿?)
Shiro started sweating nervously. Man, even after being so loud, why hadn't that blond guy woken up yet? Were the senpai all snoring that hard?
"So, are we still continuing? It feels like our strength alone isn't enough — with Shiro here it'll be perfect."
Now that the misunderstanding was cleared up, Chisa suggested this. Just now, when she and Aina tried to stomp on Iori, he kept struggling, and it wasn't very effective.
Hearing this, Shiro and Iori exchanged a glance — instantly picturing a scene where Shiro was stepping on Iori's head.
Σ_(???」∠)
Both of them dry-heaved uncontrollably!
No way in hell!
"No, there's still water in the diving goggles. Let's use the previous method!"
"The previous method?"
Five minutes later...
Iori was soaking comfortably in the pool, a towel on his forehead, looking like he was enjoying a bathhouse.
"Is this really going to work...?"
Chisa and Aina were skeptical. This just looked like a bath!
"It'll be fine! This is when I'm the most relaxed!"
Iori looked up at the starry sky — the dazzling light beautiful like the ocean itself.
"Maybe this way I can observe that scenery even more closely.
I'm going to do everything within my ability!"
Iori had come to terms with himself. He loved the ocean — and he loved being with everyone too. There was no reason to keep running away just because he couldn't swim.
Afterward, Iori told Chisa and the others to go back to sleep. He wanted to stay and enjoy the beautiful night by himself, hoping for a sudden breakthrough.
"Why are you still here..."
Iori stared speechlessly at Shiro. For some reason, being naked around this scumbag made him feel extremely unsafe...
(???)
"I want to go back too, but I'm scared..."
Shiro was genuinely afraid, because...
Iori's current posture was exactly the same as the one from his dream! He was scared that if he left, the guy would transform into the full nightmare version!
He hadn't forgotten why he snuck out in the first place!
(′｀;)?
"You and Azusa... you're not—"
"Excuse me."
Before Iori could finish, an unfamiliar voice interrupted.
Both of them looked over to see a man wearing what looked like a government worker's uniform, sharp-eyed and imposing!
"I'm a police officer."
{{(°△°; "}}!
The two of them jumped in shock, then forced themselves to calm down. After all, they were law-abiding citizens — nothing to be afraid of!
Probably…?
"We received a report about some suspicious male and female activity here. Did you see anything?"
"Ahahaha... no, there's just been the two of us here."
"Yeah, yeah, obviously no girls around, the caller must have been seeing things."
Both of them looked a bit nervous. Iori was especially tense because he wasn't wearing any clothes — if they got caught like this, he'd definitely be labeled a pervert!
Shiro was nervous because...
He had gotten into plenty of trouble back in high school over romantic disputes — so why the hell did Tokyo cops get involved in relationship drama anyway?!
"Is that so?"
The cop's eyes were full of suspicion, clearly regarding the two of them as shady individuals, especially with that giant iron pot nearby!
"Well... Kitahara, I'm heading back to sleep. It's super late."
Shiro yawned, casually picked up a pair of swim trunks by his feet, and started heading inside. As he passed Iori, he flashed him a dazzling smile～
YOU BASTARD!
Iori's eyes widened in horror — because that bastard Shiro had picked up his swim trunks!
With the cop standing right there, he couldn't get up at all!
Watching Shiro about to vanish indoors, Iori made up his mind!
He held up five fingers!
Ding～
"Transaction complete, my dear ATM gentleman～"