After a thorough discussion between a scumbag, an idiot, and an otaku, they finally came up with a perfect plan to deal with Chisa's natural airheadedness!
"Get Chisa drunk and take away her ability to make rational decisions!"
"Then, trick her into signing up for the beauty pageant!"
"If we fail, we're going straight to jail and eating prison pork cutlet, got it?!!!"
Shiro immediately regretted everything. He had definitely boarded a pirate ship.
Sure, Chisa was a natural airhead… but she wasn't alone, she had a female demon right beside her!
Damn it, 50,000 yen wasn't enough, he was raising the interest next time!
"Oh man! Kohei, Kamishiro, it's really hot today, isn't it?"
"Yeah, Iori, getting heatstroke now would be bad~"
"Let's prepare some refreshing, cooling drinks for everyone, Iori~"
At this point, Shiro had no way of backing out, so he simply followed along as the other two struck exaggerated, cringe-worthy poses.
But seriously, why the hell were they posing just to say a few words? Were they afraid people wouldn't notice they were up to something?!
Azusa, watching their theatrical performance, smirked.
If it were just Kohei and Iori, she might not have suspected anything.
But she knew Shiro too well; the moment she saw him like this, she knew they were plotting something.
No way.
No way in hell was she going to let these clueless kids start some nonsense before they even learned how to properly make Okonomiyaki~
Unaware that they had already been exposed, the scheming trio proceeded to prepare their special drinks!
Naturally, this task was left entirely to Shiro.
After all… there was no way they were letting him anywhere near the iron plate again! The last time he touched it, the whole thing smelled like it had been dragged straight out of hell!
Shiro grabbed a bottle of alcohol in one hand and a bottle of regular oolong tea in the other.
Since their target was only Chisa, they only needed two drinks! Kitahara could deliver it for them.
As for Azusa-nee?
Yeah, no way in hell were they giving her anything! That woman was too damn sharp!
Finally, the drinks were ready!
One PaB (Pure Alcohol Bomb) Oolong Tea and one regular Oolong Tea sat in Shiro's hands!
He shot Iori a look, the one on the right had alcohol!
With alcohol this strong, Chisa wouldn't possibly be able to stay sober!
Iori received the message loud and clear. Without hesitation, he picked up both drinks, plastered a bright, innocent smile on his face, and approached Chisa.
"Chisa! Here, have a drink!"
"Sorry, my hands are full right now. Maybe later."
Chisa, fully focused on her Okonomiyaki, rejected him without even looking up.
At that moment, Azusa 'coincidentally' appeared, and promptly took the other drink from Iori's hands.
"Then I guess this one's mine~"
Iori was left standing there, frozen, holding the PaB version of the Oolong Tea.
"You're not drinking? But if you don't, you'll get heatstroke~"
Azusa smiled at Iori, a devilish glint in her wisteria-colored eyes.
"There's nothing weird in here… is there~?"
Her gaze shifted towards Shiro, sharp and knowing.
"Ahaha, of course not, Kitahara! Drink! Let's drink right now!"
Shiro, trembling like a rabbit cornered by a tiger, immediately forced the PaB Oolong Tea down Kitahara's throat.
Sorry, Kitahara, but I'm not changing the interest rate!
The burning sensation made Iori suffer, but in order to not get caught, he forced himself to drink every last drop!
Azusa, satisfied, nodded and returned to guiding Chisa.
Gotta say, Chisa had serious talent for making Okonomiyaki!
"What the hell is wrong with you?!"
The moment the devil left, Iori snapped back to life, grabbing Shiro by the collar.
"That was completely out of my control!!!"
Shiro protested, he had no other choice! If Kitahara hadn't drunk it, they would've been exposed!
"Give me another chance! Azusa-nee already drank one, so there's no way she'd take another!"
Shiro was determined. He had to provide his ATM machine—er, Iori—with top-notch service!
That was the duty of every service professional!
Though reluctant, Iori had no choice but to trust Shiro again. He needed to learn how to make okonomiyaki from Kohei.
If there wasn't enough okonomiyaki by noon, he had no doubt their seniors would devour them instead!
As Iori walked away, Shiro reopened the whiskey and vodka.
This time, he had to succeed!
"What are you doing?"
Before he could begin, a voice from above sent chills down his spine.
With a stiff turn of his head, he saw Chisa looking at him with a puzzled expression...
Chisa?!!!
She glanced at the alcohol in his hands and instantly understood what was happening.
With a sigh, she poured herself a cup of regular oolong tea.
"You guys really like playing these kinds of games, huh?"
"Eh?"
Shiro had already planned how to pin all the blame on Iori and Kohei once he got caught.
But… what did she mean?
"You're making this for Imamura and Iori, right? One cup won't be enough. Here, take this. But don't go overboard."
Shiro silently took the cup Chisa handed him, then looked at the alcohol beside him and the girl who had no intention of leaving.
He was enlightened.
Kohei, Iori… I suddenly feel a little sorry for you guys.
Step, step, step.
Shiro walked with heavy steps towards his two unfortunate comrades.
"Kohei, Iori, have some tea!"
Due to their financial dealings, neither of them had any suspicions and downed the oolong tea in one gulp!
The burning sensation in their throats instantly sent them into a comedic fit, their faces twisting in agony.
Surrounded by the two glaring figures, Shiro turned his head away, unable to meet their eyes.
"Sorry, guys. This was an act of God..."
"What the hell?! How does this look like an act of God?! Also, I didn't even do anything! I was just making okonomiyaki! Why do I have to drink this stuff?!"
"Did you betray us?! I PAID for this service!"
The two were now doubting Shiro's loyalty!
"Impossible! We service workers have integrity!"
At Iori's accusation, Shiro instantly stood firm.
He had been providing excellent service for so long and was widely praised! He couldn't let Iori tarnish his reputation!
Iori and Kohei hesitated. Could he really have some kind of service philosophy?
"Hmph! You dare question your service provider?! With guests like you, I usually blacklist them! So, your service is now TERMINATED!"
Shiro waved his hand, unilaterally ending the service and sprinting off in the opposite direction!
Smack!
Two powerful arms locked around Shiro.
With expressions like terrifying giants, Iori and Kohei loomed over him.
"So you were planning to run, huh?!"
"Running away with the money?!"
"..."
"Uh… calm down, guys. Service providers are human too… we have emotions, right?"
But the two enraged men ignored his pleas and unleashed a relentless barrage of punches!
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
"Noooo!!!"
Chisa silently sipped her oolong tea as she watched the scene unfold.
She wasn't surprised in the slightest. The moment Shiro had reached for the alcohol, she had foreseen this outcome.
Though, there was one thing she was curious about.
"Didn't you guys notice it was all alcohol?"
Hearing Chisa's words, the two paused their beatdown and thought about it seriously.
Now that she mentioned it…
"Not at all."
"Honestly, everything has tasted like alcohol lately."
"Yeah, I even thought my apple cider had fermented."
"..."
Chisa stared at the three of them and suddenly felt this was all incredibly absurd.
Was there really any point in saving them? They seemed to be enjoying this lifestyle.
"I think… you three should consider changing your ways."
Being the kind-hearted person she was, Chisa decided to give them a word of advice. Whether they listened or not… wasn't her problem.
"Hey! You guys, get back to practicing!"
Azusa called out from the side.
They couldn't afford to waste time bullying Shiro! There was always time for that later!
"Coming!"
...............….
"Mm~~ Very good, very good! The three of you did a great job!"
A satisfied Azusa savored the okonomiyaki made by the trio.
The quality of this year's newcomers was quite high. In such a short time, they had already made okonomiyaki that could be sold.
Of course, that was excluding a certain Shiro. The okonomiyaki he made was basically an offering for summoning demons!
"Azusa-nee! Give me some feedback too!"
Completely unaware, Shiro beamed as he appeared next to Azusa, holding a plate of his newly made okonomiyaki!
Unlike before, this okonomiyaki was blue! He had added Sprite to it!
The moment Azusa laid eyes on the blue okonomiyaki, her appetite vanished. She even felt like throwing up the okonomiyaki she had just eaten!
Was this even okonomiyaki?!
This thing could totally be used as a sacrificial offering for cultists in some novel!
Shiro! If you don't know how to cook, just give up! You're already excellent in so many ways, there's no need to add cooking skills to the mix!
Seeing Shiro's expectant expression, Azusa ultimately couldn't bring herself to say it outright.
Sorry, Shiro. My stomach is for drinking alcohol, not for digesting demonic sacrifices!
"Shiro, I suggest you get rid of that quickly. If Toki and Bukki come back…"
Hearing Azusa's words, Shiro's face stiffened. Thinking of those two beast-like upperclassmen…
He turned and walked toward the trash can.
Sorry, my dream of becoming a chef. Tonight, you'll have to spend the night in the trash can!
—
On the other side, Iori and Kohei still hadn't given up. This time, they went for a direct approach and invited Chisa to drink a can of cold beer!
Unfortunately… she ruthlessly rejected them again. That cold beer ended up in Azusa's hands!
"Hah! Nothing beats beer in the summer!"
Azusa downed the beer in one go, smiling warmly at the two juniors. Now was the time to bond with them!
"As Nanaka said, you two really are adorable juniors~"
Iori was slightly surprised when he heard Azusa's words.
Was this person a friend of Nanaka-nee?
"Are you two close?"
"Mm, just the kind of friends who chat on the phone."
"Oh, just phone call friends…"
Hearing Azusa's explanation, the two nodded. If they were only talking on the phone, they probably weren't that close.
"So, I know quite a bit about you, Iori-kun~ All sorts of things~"
Iori looked at Azusa in confusion.
Wait…
Suddenly, he remembered something!
Every time he cleaned his room and got misunderstood by Nanaka-nee, she would say she was going to make a phone call!
Could it have been to this person?!
In an instant, Iori forgot to swallow his drink, and beer started leaking out of his mouth.
Kohei, who was watching, was stunned.
Was this some kind of human waterfall?! If you can't drink, just go sit with the kids, you bastard!
"What the hell are you doing~?"
Seeing this scene, Azusa laughed and took out a handkerchief to wipe Iori's face.
As that purple hue approached him, Iori snapped back to reality and quickly explained, "I-I'm sorry… but the whole AV and gay stuff is a misunderstanding!"
"Ahaha, no worries, no worries."
Azusa smiled carefreely.
But her smile only made Iori more terrified.
She totally misunderstood!
Azusa leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Actually, I swing both ways too~"
Iori froze.
Then he exploded!
He started shouting in a way no human could understand!
"ァ☆@●↗!!!"
"Ahahaha, it's great to have someone with the same interests! Next time, let's have a good talk about all sorts of things!"
Azusa waved with a bright smile. She figured Iori must be too excited right now, hahaha.
Chisa and Kohei, watching from the side, were completely confused.
Same interests? Did she mean diving?
Only Shiro, who had just finished throwing his dreams into the trash can, looked at Iori in horror!
He knew Azusa's tastes very well!
Having the same interests as her…
!!!
Is an all-boys school really this terrifying?!
No wonder Kitahara was always stripping so shamelessly!
So that's why!!!
Wait!
The money he owes me… Could that also be part of some scheme?!
Does he have… those kinds of feelings for me…?! Σ_(???」∠)!
In an instant, Shiro felt an overwhelming sense of danger!
He had to distance himself from that bastard Kitahara immediately!
As Iori and Azusa continued their lively conversation, Kohei felt that now was the time to intervene.
This was definitely not the time for this kind of talk!
Kouhei quickly grabbed Iori by the neck and pulled him aside.
"Oi! Kitahara! Now's not the time for this nonsense!"
"No!!! This is extremely important!!!"
Iori was on the verge of a breakdown. How could this not be important?! His very dignity was on the line!
But what they didn't realize was that while they were scheming, Azusa was watching them with an amused smile, her expression filled with mischief.
Looks like little Iori has finally found himself a boyfriend~
Shiro let out a sigh of relief.
Phew! Turns out Iori's target was Kohei! That makes sense, Kohei is quite the pretty boy.
That's great!
Kohei, Kitahara—I'll be rooting for you two!
Unaware of the misunderstanding, Iori and Kohei finally reached a new agreement. Without hesitation, they rushed toward the drink stand!
"We're grabbing some drinks!"
They stared at the fridge, struggling with their choices. There was only one way left to get Chisa drunk.
Turn all the drinks into PaB's special "oolong tea"!!!
It's do-or-die!
"Here! Have some oolong tea!"
They handed out five cups.
"I haven't finished my drink yet~"
"Same here."
"I don't really want to drink…"
Iori and Kohei nearly coughed up blood.
In desperation, they poured one cup down Shiro's throat and forcefully chugged the remaining four before dashing back for more.
"It's not over yet!"
"We're not giving up that easily, dammit!"
The scene suddenly turned heated with determination! Soon, they returned with five cups of PaB's special shaved ice.
"A beach trip isn't complete without shaved ice!"
"The syrup is special!"
Chisa sighed, feeling exhausted. "I'm already full…"
"You two can have it instead~"
"Can you at least ask me before force-feeding me?!"
Σ_(???」∠)
Completely ignoring Shiro's protests, they shoved three cups of shaved ice down his throat and finished the last two themselves.
Unfortunately, they had overestimated their endurance.
Moments later, all three of them collapsed onto the ground like dead dogs.
Shiro, who never even wanted to be part of this, still hadn't been asked for his opinion!
Azusa, watching the scene unfold, knew this was her moment.
With a smirk, she looked down at them.
"So… mind telling me what exactly you were trying to do? Get Chisa drunk?"
?!!!
They'd been exposed!
Were they about to be served a special "pork cutlet meal"?!
Iori and Kohei froze in terror.
Chisa, hearing Azusa's words, immediately hid behind her!
Azusa crouched down and poked the half-conscious Shiro.
"You guys are really bad liars~ Trying to get Chisa to drink was way too obvious. And more importantly…"
She pinched Shiro's cheek. "Your biggest mistake was bringing Shiro along~ I know him too well. I knew something was up from the start~"
!!!
Iori and Kohei glared at Shiro.
There was a traitor among them!
Shiro, just regaining consciousness, looked miserable.
It wasn't my fault! You two dragged me into this! Blame this woman's insane intuition!!!
Azusa grinned wickedly.
"So, what exactly were you planning to do once she was drunk~? Maybe I'd be interested in joining~?"
Iori and Kouhei panicked.
They had to act fast—
"Chisa!"
"Please enter the beauty pageant!"
"That's it!"
A perfectly standard 90-degree bow!
Iori and Kohei were showing the utmost sincerity!
Unfortunately...
"No way!"
Chisa rejected them without the slightest hesitation!
"This guy would even kneel naked and beg you, you know!"
Since sincerity didn't work, Kohei could only resort to indirect threats!
If it were any other girl, she might have caved under such a perverted threat. But unfortunately for them, they were dealing with Chisa!
"So can I step on you and sing 'Conquer' instead?"
A perverted threat would never work on her! After all, Iori was always walking around naked in front of her anyway!
Azusa, who had been watching the show from the sidelines, finally understood what was going on. She almost forgot that this year they were eligible to participate~
"No way~ You can't just beg someone like this~"
Azusa interrupted them. "When you ask for a favor, you should give a proper reason~"
However... what she got in response was silence from both of them...
"Uh… do you guys not have a reason?"
This year's freshmen were more ridiculous than she expected.
"What other reason could there be? They just want to avoid participating in the 'Manhood Contest.' The upperclassmen said that if Chisa participates, these two wouldn't have to."
Shiro, who had been eating his okonomiyaki on the side, exposed them without hesitation. At this point, there was no need to keep it a secret anymore.
"Eh? Is that how it is?!"
Azusa looked a bit surprised. So they were trying to dodge the Contest. Looking at it that way, the freshmen this year were all unexpectedly good-looking. Even Iori… could probably make a decent comedic relief contestant?
"I see~ Oh, wait! Hold on! Shiro, you're not avoiding it?"
"No, I'm participating."
"Then why…?"
Azusa looked at Shiro in confusion. If he was joining, then wasn't he basically guaranteed to win the Contest? Why did they need Iori and Kohei, too?
"Ah, the upperclassmen said it's just to prevent any unexpected accidents."
Seeing Azusa's understanding expression, Shiro quickly explained. Though he was a bit puzzled, what kind of unexpected accident were they talking about?
Was it something about public taste?
Thinking about Azusa's weird preferences… maybe someone out there actually liked an idiot like Kitahara!
Hearing Shiro's words, Azusa seemed to suddenly realize something and let out an awkward laugh.
Back when it was her turn, there was indeed an "unexpected accident."
Since she hadn't brought a swimsuit, she figured she could just go on stage in her underwear instead. But that damn judge disqualified her!
Every time she remembered that moment, Azusa got pissed!
It was practically the same thing! Why couldn't she wear underwear?!
As she recalled the incident, Azusa angrily snatched the okonomiyaki from Shiro's hands! It was all his fault! Making her remember something so unpleasant!
The ambushed Shiro stared blankly at his now-empty hands.
So… did he say something wrong just now? What did he even say?
Clueless, Shiro fell into deep thought~
…
After happily enjoying her spoils of war, Azusa suddenly remembered that the issue hadn't been resolved yet. She turned to Chisa with a teasing look. "So, Chisa~ wanna give it a try?"
"Absolutely not!"
Chisa turned her head away. There was no way she would ever participate in such a competition!
"Ugh…"
"As expected…"
Iori and Kohei sighed. Even though they knew this would be the result from the beginning… it still stung to hear it outright!!!
..................…
"So, you guys failed, huh?"
Tokita looked at the defeated duo with an indifferent expression. Honestly, he hadn't been holding out much hope from the start.
"Feels like the end of the world…"
"This means we definitely have to enter the Contest now…"
"(??? 3 ??)? Gulp~ Gulp~ Gulp~ Haah! You guys shouldn't be so against it. You're both always topping the campus forums. Why are you still so shy~?"
Shiro commented while checking the latest campus forum. The top trending topic? Another report about a naked pervert in the mechanical engineering department!
Even the upcoming Izu Spring Festival was ranked lower than this topic.
Seriously, what was wrong with the student body this year?
I heard that students from other departments have even come specifically to seek out the legendary Naked Pervert~
The only mystery is… why are all the ones coming to see him male?
!!!
"What?! There's a campus forum?"
"What?! There's a pervert at our school?!"
This was the first time Iori and Kohei had heard about the existence of a campus forum. Without hesitation, they snatched Shiro's phone!
And then… they saw their own elegant naked backs featured at the top of the forum rankings…
The two fell silent for a moment before immediately throwing the phone down!
"Those bastards! Do they have nothing better to do?! Getting naked after drinking is totally normal!"
"Damn it! Why the hell am I in the same picture as Kitahara?!"
"You two bastards, that's my phone!!!"
"..."
Shiro exploded with rage as he watched his poor, pitiful phone lying there in agony. Why the hell did they have to smash his phone just because they couldn't handle reality?!
The two senior members watching from the sidelines were a little confused as they glanced at the forum page still displayed on the broken screen.
"Hey, Kotobuki, do we have a campus forum?"
"I think we do."
"Eh? We do?"
"Yeah, but I think we're not allowed to post anything about the drinking parties."
"Ah, then there's no point in following it."
…
Now that they knew they were ranked number one on the forum, Iori and Kohei slumped into an even deeper state of despair, like two salted fish who had lost their dreams.
"By the way, senpai, who participated in your year?"
Shiro asked, unable to imagine what it must have been like when the upperclassmen joined the contest. A bodybuilding competition, sure, that made sense. But this?
"Ah, in our year, it was Azusa who entered the beauty contest."
Tokita thought for a moment before replying. Their year hadn't participated in the Contest.
"She really is a rare beauty."
Iori and Kohei turned their gazes toward the girls' side. They hadn't expected PaB to have such a beauty, and she had quite the bold personality, too!
"Too bad she didn't even make it past the preliminaries."
"Eh?!!"
Tokita's words instantly caught the attention of all three. Azusa-senpai didn't even make it past the prelims?
What kind of gods' battle was that year's contest?!
Seeing their confusion, Tokita explained the absurd story of how Azusa forgot her swimsuit and went on stage in her underwear instead.
The three listened in stunned silence. The sheer ridiculousness of the situation left them speechless.
Shiro suddenly understood what the upperclassmen had meant by an "unexpected accident"…
The three newcomers couldn't help but admire Azusa's boldness. She was definitely not like other girls.
"Well, Azusa is just that kind of woman. If you stick around long enough, you'll get it."
The upperclassmen didn't bother explaining further. Given enough time, the newcomers would naturally come to understand.
However…
Stick around long enough…
Stick around long enough!!!
That phrase seemed to trigger something deep inside them!
All at once, every single person in the room; including the three newcomers, turned into Giant Faces and raised their drinks high, cheering wildly!
The fired-up upperclassmen stripped naked and climbed onto the tables!
"If we're sticking to tradition, then it's time for Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors!!!"
"Look ahhhhhhh!!!"
"Hype level max! They're completely naked!!!"
"One more loss and it's the M-shaped leg spread!!!"
"..."
The atmosphere instantly became electric. Even Shiro, who had always felt like an outsider here, found himself completely swept up in the madness!
Right now, he was having the time of his life playing with a fully naked upperclassman!
"Hahahahahaha! Who else wants to challenge me?!"
Shiro shouted, feeling like he had finally mastered Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors!
He had actually won a match while still fully clothed!
For the first time, he didn't need the help of his legendary underwear!
-----------
On the Girls' Side
Azusa couldn't suppress the excitement bubbling inside her as she watched the heated atmosphere from afar. After saying a quick word to Nanaka and Chisa, she immediately joined the chaos.
The two sisters weren't surprised at all. They knew Azusa's personality too well.
In contrast, Iori and Kohei were utterly shocked when they saw Azusa stepping into the Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors battlefield!
"Are you serious?! This is Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors! If you lose, you have to take off your clothes!!!"
"Are you sure this is okay?!"
They stared at Azusa in disbelief. Was there really a girl who would willingly play Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors?!
"If you lose, of course, you take something off~ It's part of the game~"
Azusa said this with complete seriousness—Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors had rules, after all.
"No, no, no! We're asking if you're really okay with this!"
"Azusa-senpai, you're a girl!"
The two had no idea how to describe their feelings anymore. A girl actually playing Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors?!
Shiro had also noticed what was happening, but in his heart, he could only offer a silent prayer for the two idiots.
Azusa might seem carefree and easygoing, but had they ever seen the Demon Queen suffer a loss?
She knew exactly how to play the game to her advantage. Trying to take advantage of her? Not happening!
In fact, she had already mastered Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors to an inhuman level. Other than Kamishiro, who had the legendary power of his "god-tier underwear," she was unbeatable within PaB!
With Iori and Kohei's skill levels, there was zero chance of them getting Azusa to strip even a single piece of clothing!
"Hahaha, of course, I'm not going full nude. I am a girl, after all~"
Azusa laughed. There was no way she'd actually go completely naked. If someone reported it, that'd be the end of everything.
Hearing this, Iori and Kohei both let out a deep sigh of relief. Yeah, that makes sense. There's no way a girl would strip completely in Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors…
"I just put on some pasties~"
!!!
Iori and Kohei's expressions instantly turned serious. They stretched their necks and wrists, preparing for battle.
"Then let me go first! I'll show you the true essence of Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors!"
Iori's eyes burned with an uncontrollable desire. He was hyped beyond belief!
Smack!
A hand suddenly stopped Iori's excitement in its tracks.
"Man, I really don't want to interrupt you at this moment, but Kitahara… you and I still have unfinished business."
Shiro's voice came from behind him. Just moments ago, this idiot had brazenly challenged him.
"Oh? In that case, just wait a few minutes! Let me finish you off real quick so I can have an epic battle with Azusa-senpai afterward!"
Iori suddenly regained a strange sense of composure. However, the fire of desire in his eyes remained completely unextinguished.
Five Minutes Later…
A completely naked Kitahara Iori returned to Azusa, covering himself with one hand.
"Sorry to keep you waiting!"
Seeing Iori strike a flamboyant pose with a dead serious expression, Azusa burst into laughter on the spot!
"You… you literally have nothing left to take off…"
"In a way, this guy is actually really impressive."
Kohei and Kamishiro had already come to terms with reality. They now had a new understanding of Iori's perversion.
"Say no more, you two! I still have one last chance! I'm betting everything on this final round!"
Iori remained in his dramatic pose. As the two wondered what he still had left to wager…
They noticed the tiny hair clip between his fingers…
"Pffft… Hahahahahaha!!!"
Azusa was laughing so hard she couldn't even stand straight. "Bukki, this guy is too funny!!!"
She was beyond satisfied. Just what kind of weirdos did we recruit this year?! PaB's future is bright!
"Oh! Then let's see who can drink faster, kid!"
"I accept! Step back, Kohei, Kamishiro!"
"You're the one who should step back!"
"You two have completely lost yourselves to desire!!!"
…
Boom!
"Ahhh~ That was so fun~"
Azusa stretched lazily, feeling completely satisfied. As expected, she hadn't lost a single piece of clothing.
On the battlefield, only a pants-wearing Kamishiro and two completely passed-out naked idiots remained.
"Not going for another round?"
Chisa asked as she watched Kamishiro, who was excitedly doodling turtle shells(schlong) on the two unconscious fools.
"Nah, I'm done. That last guy is too much of a bug~"
Azusa sighed helplessly. As someone who often stayed up drinking with Shiro, she knew his absurd abilities all too well.
"All good kids, really~"
…
Meanwhile, Shiro was happily taking pictures of the two, already imagining how many fans he would gain after posting them on the school forum.
However, he was completely unaware of the danger looming over him.
Smack!
Suddenly, countless hands grabbed him from all directions!
!!!
Shiro felt kike he had one foot in hell...
He stiffly turned his head, only to see a group of upperclassmen staring at him with sinister grins.
"Hey~ Shiro, let's keep playing strip Rock-Paper-Scissors, yeah?"
"Haha... Just Rock-Paper-Scissors, right?"
Shiro's body froze. He had a bad feeling about this!
"Of course! We're not demons or anything~ But first, that annoying pair of underwear has to go."
((???|||))!!!
Shiro looked at their wicked hands in horror.
No way! Anything but this!
He struggled desperately, but he was no match for the beasts around him...
Little Drake!
Little Drake, I'm sorry! I've exposed you to the sight of wild beasts!
But wait... why does it feel kind of nice? A bit chilly, but refreshing...?
"OH!!! Let's keep playing Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors!!!"
"YEAH!!!!"
And so, the beasts' festival of madness continued.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Listen up, boys!"
"The Izu Spring Festival is here!!!"
"OOOOOOH!!!"
...
The May sun was unusually fierce, its scorching heat making even the cats on the roadside doze off drowsily.
But for the university students of Izu, this weather only made their youth shine even brighter.
As if they had all planned it in advance, boys and girls dressed in light, breezy outfits, basking in the sun, enjoying the seaside, and living their best youthful moments at the festival.
"Ah~ Now this is what youth is all about!"
Shiro sighed as he admired the vibrant and beautiful girls all around.
If possible, he wanted festivals like this to happen more often!
As he walked, countless girls cast glances his way; not just because of his irresistibly handsome face, but also because of his insanely toned body on full display!
Yes, at this moment, Shiro was walking shirtless down the street, his perfectly sculpted eight-pack abs practically stealing the souls of every girl who saw him.
Of course... this wasn't by choice. He wasn't desperate enough to flaunt his body just to attract girls. His face alone was enough for that!
And yet, not a single girl had approached him for his contact info.
"Haaah~ It's so much more comfortable without a shirt. Wearing one just gets all sweaty and gross~"
A seductive voice murmured beside him, the very person responsible for this entire situation!
Hearing that voice, Shiro sighed in despair.
"Azusa-nee, please have mercy on me. If someone sees me walking next to you dressed like that, I'm 100% getting arrested for indecent exposure."
Yes! The culprit behind everything had arrived—Azusa Hamaoka!
Because they were neighbors, Azusa and Shiro had planned to go to the Izu Spring Festival together.
But on the way, Azusa had given Shiro a huge surprise!
Since she was wearing a blouse, the heat had made her unbearably uncomfortable.
So, she simply took off her outerwear!
Which meant... she was now only wearing a bra on top as she prepared to go to the festival with Shiro!
This move had completely stunned Shiro!
After enjoying the view for a brief moment, he immediately handed over his T-shirt.
No way in hell!
If Azusa walked around like that next to him, they wouldn't even make it to the festival grounds before getting escorted straight to the police station for "a nice cup of tea."
Worst case scenario? Tonight's dinner might be pork cutlet rice from behind bars!
"Eh~ Is that so? Or maybe... are you jealous, Shiro~? How mean! I thought for sure you were jealous~"
Azusa teased, poking Shiro's cheek with a playful grin.
Watching her act like a mischievous child, Shiro let out a helpless sigh.
This was exactly why no girls were approaching him!
"Yes, yes. I'm super jealous. Now let's hurry up and find our senpais—they're already selling Okonomiyaki."
Hearing Shiro's half-hearted response, Azusa finally let go of his face and stretched lazily.
"Haaah~ No need to rush. It's not like you can help with making pancakes anyway~"
"...You really have no faith in me, huh, Azusa-nee?"
"Haha, well, it's just that your talents lie elsewhere~"
Shiro's mouth twitched.
His dream of becoming a god of cooking was being trampled on once again!
Sorry, my chef dreams, I have to leave you in the trash bin for now!
Chef Dreams: "YOU—!!! At least try to pick me up again!!!"
...
"Hmph! I can do way more than just make pancakes!"
Unwilling to back down, Shiro puffed out his chest proudly.
What was the point of making pancakes if you had no customers?!
He lifted his chin and gestured for Azusa to look behind them.
Azusa turned her head in confusion, only to see a group of young girls following Shiro from a distance, their faces flushed red.
The moment they noticed Azusa looking their way, they shyly ducked behind cover.
Of course, the bolder ones continued snapping photos from afar, their cameras flashing so frequently that Azusa started worrying if their phones could even handle it!
Watching this unfold, Azusa's eye twitched.
Are university girls always this crazy...?
Shiro's charm was truly terrifying...
"Shiro... have you ever considered becoming a host? I bet you could surpass the current top host in no time!"
Azusa had no idea what else to say.
This guy—who always got bullied by their friend group—was somehow this popular outside?!
And this was just with university girls. If he actually became a host, wouldn't the women of society go absolutely wild?!
"Huh? How'd you know I used to work as a host, Azusa-nee?"
Shiro blinked at her in confusion.
His innocent expression could've fooled anyone into thinking he was a pure-hearted young boy.
But Azusa's expression had completely frozen.
Wait...
Did she just hear something really dangerous...?!
(-ι_-)
Wait, wait, wait… Let me process this for a second.
Azusa felt like her brain was tingling, as if she was about to grow a few extra IQ points.
"A host?"
"Yep!"
"You worked as a host?"
"Yep!"
"Aren't you a high school student?! Why the hell did you become a host?!"
Azusa was in shock. This brat actually worked as a host?! Wasn't he supposed to be a light novel author?!
"Eh? Isn't it normal for high school students in Japan to have part-time jobs?"
"I've never heard of a high school student working in a damn host club!"
Azusa was losing it. What kind of host club would even hire a high schooler? Did the owner have a death wish?
"Sigh, there's nothing I can do, Azusa-nee. My handsome face always leads people down the path of crime~"
"..."
(-ι_-)
Azusa was speechless. She seriously considered calling Iori and Kohei to help knock some sense into this narcissist.
"Then why did you quit?"
Shiro, who had been looking all smug, suddenly stiffened. His expression changed as if he was recalling a traumatic memory.
He let out a deep sigh and muttered, "Because… it wasn't like the anime at all. The customers were all old ladies. I had no choice but to quit."
"..."
Azusa suddenly understood why he even went there in the first place. As expected of you, Scumbag Shiro.
Also… why the hell did you think a real-life host club would be like in anime?! Do you really think rich, gorgeous older women frequent those places?!
And last but not least, apologize to those old ladies right now!!!
Shiro's words hit Azusa so hard that she swore her chest size increased by one from sheer rage. She jumped onto his back and started aggressively rubbing his head.
"You're something else, huh, Mr. Host?!"
Feeling her movements, Shiro sighed and carried her on his back. If she fell, he'd become the bad guy here.
"Stop rubbing my head, you'll stunt your growth…"
"You're already 185cm tall, Shiro. You don't need any more height! Now, charge! We still have a festival to enjoy!"
"Yeah, yeah. Says the freeloader getting a piggyback ride."
"Haha! Well, isn't it only natural for Host Shiro to escort his guest?"
"Not with that attitude! Who the hell would be my guest?!"
"Eh? There's a whole group of them behind you~ Looks like they all want your contact info. How about a deal—buy one okonomiyaki, get Shiro's number for free?"
"..."
At that moment, Scumbag Shiro felt a sudden surge of motivation!