I was just a little kid never knew that my life was a wreck or anything was wrong with the way we lived. Even though things were happening that were wrong like, molestation, oral sex, abuse in all sorts of ways, I never knew any better. I was a normal child in a normal life setting, or so I thought. Life was good and I was happy with the way things were most of the time. I have good and bad memories but I remember one memory better than the rest. It was the day I was taken from my family.
I heard a knock on the door and my sisters told me we were gonna play hide and seek, so I ran to hide. I hid while they tried to break in, DCFS that is. I sat scared and waiting for it to be over. Then I heard my mothers voice outside and I forgot all about hiding. I ran out from hiding and ran towards the door then my mom came in and picked me up, rushing to the van and locking all the doors. She started up the vehicle and was going to drive away but a police officer stepped behind the vehicle while a DCFS worker stood in from. As a child I was completely terrified and could tell that my mama was scared too. I never will I ever forget the sound of her nails tapping the steering wheel and the smell of her perfume as I held onto her shirt in those last moments. The officer then pulled out his gun and pointed it at us. I didn't know what we did wrong, and why my mama was had started to cry. She had a look I'd never seen before and I knew something was off. When she finally gave me up I didn't understand why she would give me away. I cried and kicked at the DCFS worker and tried to get away but it was no use. Being small for a 5 year old was not doing me any favors. I was taken a long ways away to a place I'd never seen before and shortly there after my sister Kearia showed up there as well. The house was nice but the people on the other hand were really something else. This would be my first home away from my family. They had two little boys that were very mean and they were obviously favored over us. One day a few weeks after we had been taken there, their youngest boy was flicking rubber bands at me and he ficked one at me that got stuck in the corner of my eye. I was crying about it and they sent me to my room instead of doing anything about it. The rubber band was stuck in my eye until my sister who was just barely 18 months older than me took it out. After that incident we were barely ever allowed out of our room to do anything and half the time we didn't get fed. After we started to lose our weight the family's pregnant daughter came over and snuck in to feed us. I remember she did that for about two weeks until she got caught and then shortly after we were removed from that home. I assume it's because she called DCFS on her parents or somehow the DCFS worker found out about the abuse. Either way we ended up with Faith and Tom, who also had my brother Austin in their care. He was six years older than me and he had a lot of anger issues. Also he had bipolar and they tried all sorts of medication to make him "normal" but nothing ever worked for them. They couldn't control him and he would get really upset and wanted to go home. I liked Faith and Tom for the most part. They were nice and would buy us gifts. I remember my brother used to play Pokémon cards with some kid that lived close by. I used to sit and watch them or play around in the sandbox or yard while they would battle it out to see who built a better deck. One day they were playing and me being the curious little child I was started playing with this spider poking the big thing with a stick. It was a shiny black spider with a red thing on its belly, it was pretty to me. I wanted to keep it so I asked my sister to have my brother catch it for me. After that he walked over and took one glance at the spider and he freaked out on me. Apparently it was a black widow spider and they were "poisonous". He killed it and I felt sad for it's family not having it anymore and made me think of my mama and how she must miss me just as much as I miss her. I had lots of moments that were like that. It was a daily feeling of sadness and loneliness that I felt everyday since they took me away from everything that I had ever known. I didn't know when I would see them again. I rarely got to speak to my mother the whole time I was gone. I was coached by everyone in what I was allowed to tell her and that I was supposed to tell her how happy I was and that nothing was wrong. In all actuality it wasn't ok and I wasn't ok without my family. Having Keke and Austin there was a little easier than if I had been alone. My siblings taught me my ABCs except I somehow learned them without m the N. I failed when my teacher had called on me to say them. I wasn't one of the few students that got it right. I was on the other hand one of the fastest learners in my class. Everyday after school I would sit with my brother and sister and do homework with them. They were the ones that taught me what I needed to know while I was in that home. My birthday came and I got all sorts of stuff from clothes to toys to bedding. Not even a month passed by when we all got regimes. Me and my sister went to live with my Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Alan's house, while my brother was sent to a mental hospital because nobody could handle his tantrums. Once again I lost someone I cared about and lost everything again. I wasn't allowed to bring more than what I could fit in my backpack, same with my sister. All our new things we got at my birthday were kept for the next kids they would foster. I wished I was going home to my mama, but when we pulled up and a stranger was standing there waiting for us I knew I wasn't going to see my mama again. Something inside me broke. I had extremely hard moments that I suffered alone and at 6 I only had my sissy left that could even understand how I felt. We felt so alone in the world and clung to each other. As we were introduced to our new mom and dad I felt like screaming at them and that they weren't my parents. I lived there for seven years.