The room in this place is obscure, I can feel it, but the awareness needs more exploration, it keeps coming to my mind, but different than a murmur, it's like an echo, an echo of another time, another realm where it does exist, but it also exists here, there, it's as real as the now.
It feels a bit turbid, as if no one has been here for a long time, which it's weird, because I have always been here, I feel a bed. It's tricky to {see} but I need a safe space, I need a sage, and what's better than I?
The bed feels warm, with white sheets, like that kind of bed that you always see in advertisements, fluffy and with the duvet one size bigger than the actual size of the bed, the {size} of the bed changes, from just being able to exist on the areas where I have contact with it, to a massive comfy set of sheets that hug you from the sides, never too warm, if any slightly cold to the touch.
When I am not seeing it it's like a bunk bed, it has no appeal, dusty from the tears of time, a bit yellow, nothing like stains, more like the marks on your favourite pillow when you remove its cover for the first time. Wood? Maybe it's a wooden bed, I am not certain, it feels thick and strong, it has a solid foundation for it to be thin when not looking. The bed has two stages, the time before me and how Happy to have me again. It's like the loving embrace of a companion that wishes you well, not the loving kind, just the warmth. Everything seems to have intent here, I need to be careful when discovering the room, austere if any, I just need my basic needs.
I feel like a traveller figuring out the starting point that will make it ideal to survive in a world where everything is unknown, because, how to survive here, I don't need anything, if any I can create, more like invoke, it's like a feeling, I can feel things into being, but they must be willing to. I have to be loved or needed. I am not there yet, strength is something that will not help you here, everything is unknown.
The bed is in a space, I can feel the walls, the room feels small, as it's just what I need. It is impressive to be in a place where your needs are attended by {desiring} it. Desire, what a strong word. The space seems to be longer than wider, it's hard to measure its 3, maybe 4 meters on the short side, it moves a bit when I perceive the edge, but it feels concealed, safe, maybe it knows it's what I need.
We are in the middle of the space between the mind and the line, maybe that's why the construct is possible; one more the thing about the bed, it's not to be used linearly, there is no gravity here, you can not {fall} or layover, the meaning of the bed is more like a warm cocoon of space that {feels} safe, that embrace of nothingness that comes from the inside, like the feeling when we just had a warm tea, just slightly warmer than what you normally drink, and that after a sense of the skin breathing out like the pores releasing the bitterness from the body to the world where it came from, like if there was a bigger intent on the world to balance out itself. That's how it feels, layers and layers of petals of the volumetric veil, folding on top of each other, never touching more than what is needed, clean and warm, almost moist.
I can see the walls, only because it seems like I have a source of light that manages to illuminate the space, this light is beyond just one sense, like most things here it feels emotional, almost teary, it seems that my light is happy to be there for me, it's happy to have me and that's the only The reason for being is to convey the safety of the bed, which is like having my portable bed. Feels feeble, happy and immensely powerful but feeble.
The walls, what a difficult task to do, because how much do you know about walls, yeah, they are a surface that defines a space, but, how do you make them, I know no construction, do I need to understand structures and look for materials?
{You think too much}
Joaco, a good friend, has been here, a usual traveller, not of I but of life, the realm loves him, like many other chaotic beings that I love, maybe I am just chaos here.
{Chaos needs ruling}
.Hades.
I should not think to building here is not building on the same sense of being, it's revealing, revealing my intention, like when you try to remember an image but just on your mind, like closing your eyes and trying to remember where are your legs, and imagine where they are, to only open them to see How far gone you were, that's how much the space is distorted here.
Reveal a wall, what do I know from this realm, the volumetric veils of darkness, the line, the obscure split between the mind and the realm beyond. The light, yes, the light, nimiita, charism, according to the Pío father of the Catholics.
I managed to extract myself from my first interaction with the light, but not without seeing it up close, the structures, the organic structures that defined them, the soft glow that was hiding behind the recursive square building upon each other. That's it! Recursion, that's the word I was looking for, ever-repeating squarish structures that gave room to this massive, like rings surrounding the planets. I can use that.
Recursion, it appeared after the accident, was the only way I could save myself from it.
Recursion is not orderly, like perfect math, the sacred geometry, when made by CG, it lacks intention, and believe me, I know about CGI.
The internal structure of the light rings moved, building and rebuilding on itself. It moves outwards and inwards at the same time. When it reaches the maximum position, it would either dissipate into the glow or recurse into the other tiles of itself, the borders made it almost organic, with intention.
The walls in my room… I can see them now, I can see what they are missing and why they are not here, they were wrong, the realm of i lets me adventure and replicate what I can feel and see, but I need rules, I must understand them on i, if not chaos will reign. Chaos needs rules; this can be dangerous, and I have to be careful. The structure itself seems to exist by itself, more like a limit and protection, it's the whole intention. This will work.
My walls are grey, dull, brown from the stain of time and smell like dusty mud, no, it's drier like musty concrete. Like the smell of a leak in the basement, the lack of use under a concrete bridge when you wait for the rain and the train passes above, that leaky vibration that internal sensation of left to be. I was missing the intention.
I can feel the { material } on the back of my mind, the nimiita brought it to me from a different place, maybe this was a parting gift for a traveller, when she hid in the shadows for me. Feels divine, i can use this.
This realm is a realm of beauty. How magical it is to be able to create, it is so intoxicating that I can not even do anything. Constructing requires a higher level of control in this realm. Have you ever tried to imagine an apple?, Does it have colour? Got most of you there, now rotate your apple, does it have a leaf?. Now, try to construct the apple from the fibres of the pulp. It's not easy, this needs a lot of control and concentration, it seems like my brain tries to wander beyond the realms of the line by itself, I have a {thirst}, but I must not.
I can feel how important this moment is going to be, this is my room, my safe space, I have to trust myself, when I saw her, she let me find the moment in time and luck, she showed me the divine. I am not sure how sporadic my material is, there is no sharing on this realm, the realm of i is a real of creation, and speciation so far, not one of sharing, each vision to its own, the feel here is the only way to share knowledge, knowledge is constant, you can feel the eternity.
Back, I must go. My walls lack intention, and they cannot maintain me as they are. There I drift a bit, I need my walls to be strong, I need to build a base of operations, a core on this unknown land.
The bed is dissipating, and I am losing concentration. Focus.
The walls, I will follow the same exercise of the sacred geometry, I will visualise the recursion of the squares into my mind, and transfer it here, while using the intention of the \[material\].
First, I need to understand where my space is, what the border is here. I can feel the endless layers of depth, but I am above it, there is a feeling of stability, as if I do not need to balance myself. Maybe balance is the state of the body.
Maybe this is the soul lake? I can perceive myself as an endless nothingness, standing up, but up is everywhere. Here {balance} feels more like integration, like confidence, and {unbalance} anxiety. The feeling of the charisma was pure and clear