The man resided in a lavish E-Rantel mansion.
Yet, he was jobless.
Officially, his role as Albedo's sustenance was a secret, making him, on the surface, a kept man, leeching off a woman's wealth. If confined to the mansion, it wouldn't matter, but Lord Ainz's decree of a stress-free life allowed outings with a maid escort. E-Rantel's residents took notice.
"Who's that guy? Living the high life! Must be his face pretty boys have it easy," they grumbled.
This unwanted attention prompted Momon, the adventurer, to suggest a cover story. Albedo, in a single night, crafted one: he was a distant relative of a spoiled merchant's daughter from the Empire, sent to E-Rantel for recuperation.
"So, you're the edible human Albedo's keeping," Solution Epsilon said.
"A pleasure to meet you, Lady Solution Epsilon," he replied.
As his cover was a distant relative, a meeting with Solution, posing as the merchant's daughter, was inevitable. Solution, a voluptuous beauty with golden curls and a sharp tongue, embodied Nazarick's default disdain for humans. Though relatively polite, she saw him as Albedo's pet, sparing no courtesy or pretense.
"Hmm," she mused, appraising him from head to toe. Nazarick's servants cared little for human etiquette. Her human guise belied her true slime nature, far removed from human sensibilities. Appearance mattered less than taste. If Albedo deemed him food, was his flesh as delicious as his essence?
Lost in thought, she shook his offered hand a grave mistake.
"…Did Lady Albedo permit this?" she asked, voice trembling.
"What?"
His face paled, sweat beading, brow furrowed, lips sealed tight.
"What?" she repeated.
His hand was gone not metaphorically, but literally, dissolved up to the wrist within her grip. Solution's slime body could melt and absorb through any part. She'd unconsciously begun consuming him, his taste overwhelming. But this was a crisis Albedo's meal wasn't hers to take. A flippant "Oops, I ate him" wouldn't fly. Punishment was certain.
Lord Ainz's words echoed: "Resentment over food is fearsome."
For years, decades, centuries, Albedo's voice would haunt her: "You stole my meal, Solution. Was it tasty? My food, taken without permission. How was it?" The future flashed before her shunned, stoned by all for her sin.
"Wait, wait! I'll fix it!" she cried.
Prepared for such mishaps, she carried a healing scroll. No moment was more urgent. The man's hand, reduced to bone, was restored fully by the scroll's magic.
Problem solved. All's well that ends well.
"Keep this from Albedo," Solution urged.
Restoration didn't erase the incident. The memory of her accidental tasting burned into both their minds. Solution couldn't alter memories—only Ainz could, but asking him was unthinkable. She resorted to silencing the man. Killing him would defeat the purpose.
"I refuse," he said.
"Do you think you're too grand to obey me? Know your place."
To Nazarick's servants, the hierarchy was absolute: Servants >>>>> (Uncrossable Wall) >>>>> Humans. The sun rose in the east, set in the west; the moon followed; and Ainz was vast in wisdom, power, and all else. A human defying them was as absurd as the heavens splitting or seas turning to rainbows.
"Are you asking me to lie to Lady Albedo?" he countered.
Solution froze, struck dumb. Albedo's wrath "You knew he was mine and still…" would echo for millennia.
"I'll do anything! Please, don't tell her!" she pleaded.
"Anything? You said anything?"
His eyes glinted.
"Yes, anything," she cooed, smiling.
Today's Solution was in her noblewoman guise, a barely-there dress revealing more than her maid outfit. Crossing her arms under her chest made her ample breasts sway enticingly. Men only think of lust. They're hard just looking at me. I know it. Want my breasts? I'll let you finish between them.
"Even the most shameful things… I'll do anything," she purred, tugging her neckline to flash a hint of pink, her tongue wriggling seductively.
Her allure was flawless. As an assassin-class operative who'd studied humans longer than most, she knew no man could resist.
"Then, please cleanse my rectum," he said.
"…What?"
The other day, Albedo had mastered a secret skill, allowing precise stimulation without injury, even with sharp nails. After using it and finishing her meal, she sniffed her finger. "A bit smelly," she remarked, then tasted it. "A bit bitter."
Once she left, the man screamed.
"Why, why, why does Lady Albedo test me so?!" His wail echoed, her natural succubus shame-play inflicting a frenzied status effect. He didn't know Albedo's mercy. If she wished, her saintly smile could shift to a childlike grin, whispering a mantra.
"So stinky! ♡"
The effect: agony unto death, surpassing True Death. To avoid this promised end, one thing was necessary.
"You want me to lick your filthy anus?!" Solution shrieked.
"As a shoggoth, can't you do it without licking?" he asked.
"It's the same thing!"
Her amorphous slime body could slip into any crevice, cleaning internally with ease a simple task during a tea break, if pride allowed.
"You're a pervert who wants me to see and probe your anus!" she accused.
"I'm requesting waste removal," he clarified.
"It's the same! Aren't you ashamed to make me do this?"
He snorted. Compared to Albedo's "smelly" and "bitter" remarks, this was nothing dragon versus snail.
"If you can't, fine. I'll report today's events to Lady Albedo. Any issue with that? I wouldn't know," he said coolly.
"Grr!" Solution seethed, realizing he was no mere human. A man Albedo favored was devilish indeed.
"Can you do what you're asking of me?" she challenged. "Are you pushing something impossible?"
"As a human, I can't infiltrate and clean like a shoggoth," he replied.
"Not that! Licking an anus!"
"I can."
"Instantly?!"
He'd done it for Lanner, the Kingdom's golden beauty, countless times her unwashed, foul anus after defecation. How often he'd wanted to ruin her, and he had, leaving her incontinent. A priestess-warrior friend healed her, unaware of what she'd mended.
"Then do it to me!" Solution demanded.
"What?"
The scene: his bedroom in the opulent mansion, smaller than Albedo's dining room but still spacious. Curtains blocked E-Rantel's view; the door was locked.
How it came to this, he couldn't fathom, but reality was stark: Solution's rear loomed before him.
Leaning on a desk, she thrust her hips back, her dress's long skirt flipped up, revealing a peach-like posterior to rival her ample chest.
"Come on, hurry!" she urged, glancing back with a smile, swaying her hips impatiently.
"You're licking my anus, so you'll need to undress me properly, or you can't do it right," she teased.
Her red underwear, barely covering her, strained tightly over her buttocks, softening at the crotch. Seeing his hand reach for it, she giggled.
"You can't just pull it down you have to take it off, or I can't spread my legs."
The thin red fabric slid past her thick thighs, dropping past her knees. She stepped out, leaving the panties in his hand.
"A gift to remember today," she said.
"No, take them back. They're clean; wear them home," he replied.
She huffed, parting her legs wide, skirt raised, panties gone, her anus and slit fully exposed. She flexed her anus, opening and closing it slightly, secreting viscous fluid from her slit that dripped down her thighs, enticing him.
"Come on, hurry," she purred, certain of victory.
My perfect ass, pristine anus, and juicy, salmon-pink slit—how could he resist eating me? Let your cock free; I'll devour it, make you feel so good, let you finish inside me.
It was a trap. If he succumbed, she'd taunt, "Want me to keep quiet for Albedo? You know what'll make me." Her assassin-class guile, kin to ninja cunning, was dirty by design.
But his hand withdrew.
"Could you spread your cheeks, Lady Solution?" he asked.
"Thattablet
"That's so embarrassing, but for you, I'll make an exception," she said.
Leaning further, she spread her cheeks wide, exposing her tight anus and glistening slit clearly, confident in her allure.
She didn't notice him staring at her hands.
As his palm touched her buttocks, a slick sensation hit before he could feel their softness. His hand glistened, fingerprints fading dissolved. Her dripping slit oozed something corrosive.
Kissing it risked disaster. He spat instead, saliva mixed with bubbles sliding down her crevice, pooling at her anus before vanishing with a wet slurp.
"Hurry up!" she urged.
He spat again. It vanished, her anus stretching wider first finger-width, then fist-sized, impossible for any human, even Lanner. It gaped, dark and endless, its fleshy interior fading into shadow. Her beauty was a facade; her true slime nature was utterly alien.
"Don't tease me!" she whined.
Am I to be devoured by her anus? he thought. My body belongs to Albedo. I can't let this happen.
"Let's stop here," he said. "I'll forget everything. We met, no issues. Agreed?"
Before she could reply, a voice like blissful music rang out.
"What's this about hurrying?"
Golden eyes, slit vertically, glared at them. Albedo stood, her usual smile gone.
"Lady Albedo!"