An hour later they pulled into the zoo's empty parking lot and Zavier rolled the SUV up onto the curb that led to the doors, parking directly in front of them.
"Honey, you can't park here!" Tess objected. Even in an apocalypse she was a rule follower.
"Who's going to write us a ticket? Besides, we might need a quick getaway."
They stepped out of the van and pulled out their various weaponry.
"Alrighty, no real plan to speak of," Zavier addressed them. "I don't know what we're going to see. A lot of the animals will probably be in cages still, but some will definitely be out. I guess the best we can do is just watch each other's backs and tear shit up."
"Oh, and if you can plant the rods then do it, but if we run into something that looks high level then let's try and get the loot. Luna, you get out of range and whoever is closest, pull the rod. Got it?"
"Are you sure you meant to say it like that?" Tess raised an eyebrow at Zavier.
Zavier thought back and then barked out a laugh. "Why Tess Torres, did YOU just make a sex joke?" Spirits high, they forced open the automatic doors and stepped into the lobby.
They all paused in amazement as they moved out of the lobby and into the zoo proper.
"Was it always this big?" Zavier's voice was low in wonder. The zoo had never been small but it also hadn't been overly large. The last time they'd visited it had been neat with paved paths leading to smallish enclosures that always left him with more sadness than wonder. The cells, enclosures, he reminded himself, had seemed more like prison cells than true living experiences for the animals they held. Fake terrain surrounded by too-close walls left the animals pacing in endless circles around the cages and Zavier had wished he could just do away with the whole lot of it. It felt like the very definition of cruel and unusual punishment, but to animals whose only crimes had been to be beautiful or exotic.
But that was not what they were seeing now. The paved paths were overgrown almost to invisibility and they seemed to stretch for miles rather than hundreds of feet. What had previously been tight enclosures now stretched out farther than they could see, terrains from around the world combining and merging into gestalt environments that couldn't coexist in any sane planet. Deep jungle stretched to one side, butting up against pools of water and stone that looked as big as any lake. In the far distance he could swear he saw a desert fighting with the jungle for space.
"Looks like The System made a few upgrades," Tess said.
"Well this just got a lot more dangerous," Zavier replied. "As much as I hate to say it, I was hoping for more 'shooting fish in a barrel' than 'Jumanji trip through unknown terrain with souped up monsters.' But nothing for it, I guess," and he picked a direction at random, trying to exude more confidence than he felt as he stepped into the shadows of Wisconsin's new jungle.
They were a few minutes into the jungle, their soft steps being covered by the sounds of rustling leaves, when they saw the first signs of movement. Light hoots could be heard and he swore they were traveling with them. "Careful everyone, I think we're being followed."
His words seemed prescient as a blur shot out of the jungle and onto his shoulders, his back bending with the sudden weight. A flash of fangs and Zavier felt stabs of white hot pain erupt in his head, then the weight was gone. A cacophony of hoots and screeches erupted from the foliage around them and they could see nimble shapes flitting through the trees, swinging effortlessly.
Zavier clutched his head, wondering why it felt smoother than usual.
"Z!" Tess screamed and ran up to him, pushing the flap of skin that had previously been the top of his head back into place.
"What happened?" His voice was groggy with pain and shock.
"A monkey or something landed on you and bit into your head. It scalped you!"
Zavier reached up and felt the flap of hair she was pushing back onto his skull, its slippery movements making him feel like he was going to retch.
She thrust a pill into his hand, "Take this!"
Zavier looked at the health pod but then checked his stats. He put it in his pocket. "I'm only at 82%, I don't need it yet."
"Your damned skin is hanging off!"
He was getting clarity back and stood straighter. "Anything under 25% healing is wasting it. I'll take it if I drop below 75%."
Tess took a step back, her eyes wide with shock. "That's insane," she whispered.
"We have to be smart. Now everyone get ready, these things are fast." He held the machete in one hand and his scalp with the other. He wasn't at a Master level with it anymore but he could tell he was still above average. Wielding it one-handed shouldn't be a problem. The hooting increased in volume and Zavier looked at his family, all of them still staring at him in shock.
"I said get ready!" He yelled then spun, turning his back to them. "Plant the rod!"
The moment broke and Cass pulled a rod out, slamming it downward, the sharpened tip pushing through the asphalt like it was soft earth. Then there was no more time as the monkeys were on them.
They stayed back-to-back, since that was the only thing that seemed to work against these damned things. The monkeys, no, Primatus Zavier corrected himself, were the same size as they were pre-System but they moved with a speed and grace that would have put their previous versions to shame. They seemed to have some sort of rudimentary tactical communication too, as their attacks always seemed coordinated to distract with the first attack to let the next ones sneak in past defenses. Their claws and teeth were preternaturally sharp and Zavier could see scores across the machete where it had intercepted some of their strikes. He was starting to feel light-headed again and checked his health, seeing it had dropped to 72%.
Good enough, he thought. "Tess, cover me, I'm taking the pill." She moved smoothly in front of him and he leaned the machete against his thigh to fish the pill out. His eyes went wide in pain as he shifted his skin around to its proper location. The last thing he wanted was for his skin to heal incorrectly and his hairline to look like some rich guy from Miami with bad hair plugs. He needn't have worried though, relief flooding through him instantly as he swallowed the pill. There was an uncomfortable wriggling sensation as his scalp moved to the correct location and a moment later he was fully healed, health at almost 100%.
Tess looked back over her shoulder when she heard his sigh and smiled. "Don't do that again. It's not worth saving them if you can't fight because of the injury."
He nodded and picked up the machete. "Hey, now that I got this hand free mind giving me the other one?" He reached for the other machete and she handed it over with a smile, taking Claw in a double-handed grip. They spread out again to face outward in a loose square.
The next 10 minutes were a frantic blur of action and riotous noise. Cass was bashing them away as often as he was slicing them with the shields, and Luna was knocking them out of the air with well-placed shots. Zavier didn't know how long they'd been going but soon he saw something interesting - a loot drop. Zavier examined it quickly.
Item Name: Primal Claw
Type: Gloved Weapon (Melee)
Description: A weapon fashioned from the claws of the Primatus, this weapon is highly effective in close combat. Its sharp edges are designed to tear through flesh and cause bleeding wounds, making it a deadly choice for swift and agile fighters.
Stats:
Agility: +1
Abilities:
Razor Slice: Each attack with the Primal Claw has a 25% chance to cause a bleeding effect, dealing additional damage over time. Pack Hunter: When fighting alongside allies, the wielder gains a 10% increase in attack speed, leveraging the primal pack tactics of the Primatus
"Guys, loot drop! Cass, grab the rod. I'm going for the glove!" He rushed towards it but was thrown backwards when two of the monkeys flew in from the side, slashing him across the chest. He grunted and rolled backwards and onto his feet. "Okay, not going to be that easy."
They kept up the attack, inching their way towards the glove. The Primatus launched themselves at the group without pause and soon another glove dropped. "Looks like they're dropping after we kill enough!" Luna yelled over the din.
"Anyone know how many it takes?" Zavier yelled back but didn't get an answer. Well, they'd have to keep taking them down and see.
Grueling minutes later they stood over the glove and Zavier picked it up. The other was back the direction they'd come from and Zavier turned to tell them to move that way when something hit him on the side of the face with a stinging slap.
What the he… his thoughts were interrupted when his fingers touched it and he caught the smell. Is that…??? "They're throwing poop!" Then he felt the burning on the side of his face and on his finger, "and it's acidic!"
This was more than they'd signed up for and they took off towards the entrance to the jungle. They ran at a sprint, monkeys and feces harrying them the entire way. By the time they burst out of the trees they all sported slashes, gashes, and burning patches all over their bodies. The monkeys had stopped at the border, jumping in place and throwing a few last piles at them.
"Where did they get so much?" Zavier yelled as they sprinted towards the water they'd seen at the entrance. Without pausing they all jumped over the glass wall that surrounded the rocky pool and dove under the surface, scrubbing wildly at their skin. The water became a mucky morass of brown and green clouds, the sizzling dying out as it was diluted.