…
Believe it or not, that was exactly how I died.
I had a heart attack, triggered by getting too many Magic Castles slapped onto my novel at once!
But death wasn't the end.
Because next thing I knew, I was reincarnated into another world.
Not as a human, not even as a monster.
But as a freaking castle, in the middle of nowhere.
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After the initial panic settled, I took a few shaky breaths, calmed myself down, and tried to process what fate had thrown at me this time.
Haha…
Oh, the irony!
I had spent years roasting those brain-rot webnovel authors, the ones churning out the same tired isekai trash where the protagonist gets yeeted into a fantasy world as some random-ass thing.
Reincarnated as a slime? A spider? A sword?
Honestly, those were the good ones.
But then came the real nonsense.
An apple? A hot spring? And don't even get me started on that poor bastard who got reincarnated as a condom!
Seriously? What the hell were those authors smoking?
But now?
Guess who's not laughing now? Me!
Because I had become a castle.
Yup. A literal, physical, immobile castle, squatting in the middle of small forest clearing like a giant paperweight. Just me, a bunch of trees, and a whole lot of existential dread.
Though calling myself a "castle" might've been generous.
In reality, I looked more like a fortified manor house or a miniature keep at best.
My main structure was hexagonal, with six thick stone walls, about fifteen meters high. Each corner was capped with a stubby turret, and I had a peaked slate roof that was probably leaking.
The total footprint for this building was around 200 square meters. There were also two above-ground floors, one cramped basement level, and a small overgrown yard outside, filled with tangled weeds and half-buried flagstones bringing the total ground area to 500 square meters.
The entire compound was surrounded by a moss-covered stone wall, maybe three meters tall. Thankfully, I still had a big iron gate to keep unwanted things from going inside.
But that's it. That's all. There was no drawbridge, no moat, and certainly no epic spires piercing the sky.
A simple design for a "castle," I'd say.
Pathetic, really.
Anyway, I had two kinds of vision.
The first one was external, and it let me see everything outside my walls, like I had an invisible drone hovering high above my courtyard.
From that bird's-eye view, I could clearly see the clearing I sat in, the thick treeline that encircled me like a natural fence, the distant hills rolling quietly in the background, and even a narrow river slicing through the forest a few hundred meters away.
The trees were mostly towering oaks and tall firs. They were dense, shadowy, the kind of forest where you half-expected elves, wolves, or creepy forest spirits to pop out at any moment.
The second type of vision was internal. It was like I had a security camera embedded in the ceiling of every room.
I could see all my halls and chambers from above, staircase, and even the gloomy basement below. Nothing escaped my sight.
That said, keeping up with all these simultaneous viewpoints was a lot. A regular human brain would've short-circuited trying to handle it all.
Thankfully, I no longer had a brain, so no headaches.
Heh heh, weird perk of being a castle, I guess!
It took a bit of mental fumbling, but I eventually got the hang of it.
Now, flipping between views or watching several at once felt second nature.
And as for my physical makeup, well… nothing too fancy.
My main building and outer walls were made from thick, gray stone bricks, sturdy and weathered. Classic medieval European architecture vibes.
Meanwhile, my courtyard was a mess. Overgrown grass, creeping vines, and half-dead shrubs tangled up the place. A few cracked paving stones poked through the greenery. It looked like no one had done yard work here in decades.
Not that I could do anything about it really. I didn't have hands after all!
Thankfully, I didn't have OCD or any particular desire for aesthetic cleanliness Otherwise, this whole situation would've driven me insane within the first ten minutes.
Now, as for the inside?
Every single room was empty, completely barren. There was not a single piece of furniture in sight.
I didn't see any chair or table, not even a bed or any one of those creepy old paintings with eyes that follow you around the room.
Just dust, and empty spaces.
The floors were wooden in most places, stone in the basement, and the walls were a mix of cold gray brick and faded plaster. I had a few pretty windows though, letting the light in.
That was it. That was everything I had.
Now, as for what I could and couldn't do…
Let's start with the obvious: I couldn't move. I was quite literally stuck where I stood.
But I did have a few neat tricks.
One, I could open and close all of my doors and windows at will. With just a thought, I could swing them wide or slam them shut.
And two, I could also light up any torches or candles inside me, which came in handy when night fell or when I wanted to feel a little less like a haunted ruin.
And… yeah. that was about it.
Actually… almost.
There was one more thing.
Like every cliché isekai protagonist ever, I also had access to a System.
Yup. Just like in the stories.
Whenever I said, "System, open," a glowing blue screen would appear in my mind's eye.
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Magic Castle System
Name: Unknown Castle
Type: Regular
Level: 1
Points: 0
Population: 0
Ground Area: 500 m²
Height: 15 m
Skills:
- Door Manipulation
- Lighting Manipulation
- Self-Repair (Level 1)
Access:
- System Shop (require points to unlock)