"Did you know that Seo Bo-ra is also a guide, Joo-hyun?"
"Isn't she a B-class guide? I heard she regularly visits the centre for guiding without any matching, which is unusual for a celebrity."
Of course, Seung-cheol had told him all of this. Seung-cheol had recounted how he met Seo Bo-ra, and the details had stuck in Joo-hyun's mind.
"You know a lot. Bo-ra helped me a lot after my manifestation."
"Oh, I see."
"She's a really good guide, isn't she? She's kind but knows how to separate business and personal matters."
"Well..."
I haven't even met her, so how would I know?
Joo-hyun swallowed the sarcastic retort he habitually used and awkwardly responded. The situation itself was uncomfortable, making his legs shake involuntarily.
There's no such thing as kindness without a price. More precisely, it's exceedingly rare. The fact that there was nothing he could offer to Cha In-ho made Joo-hyun tense.
"I never thought you'd make such a request, Joo-hyun. You seemed very prideful. Maybe I don't have a good eye for people."
Joo-hyun, who was considering offering to skip guiding for a week as compensation, looked up. Cha In-ho was smiling, but his eyes were sunken. He was never particularly friendly, but now he was unmistakably hostile.
As he said, Joo-hyun had lived his life relying solely on his pride. The runaway esper's red eyes flashed sharply.
"Is asking for an autograph that offensive?"
"I'm not offended."
"And you're not treating me like an idiot... Are you saying you're happy now?"
Even though he was in the position to just let it slide, it was difficult for Joo-hyun. His sharp reactions were already a habit, much like a frightened dog barking loudly.
"Not at all. How could anyone be happy in a place like this?"
Joo-hyun was rendered speechless by the soft voice that didn't rise in volume.
Block C looked gloomy and dismal from the outside, and even the path leading there was rough. Inside, it was filled with dangerous runaway espers, and everything—from the walls to the floor to the furniture—was worn out.
His already tattered pride was pierced by the sharp thorn of reality, and a sense of defeat spread from that point. Joo-hyun, pretending to be concerned about his fingernails, muttered softly as he traced a small scar on his thumb with his fingertip.
"If you don't want to be here, you can leave."
Joo-hyun had already been living in Block C for 11 years. They were undeniably miserable, painful years. But had there never been a moment of happiness? He couldn't quite remember.
"…Joo-hyun, I apologise for what I just said."
"It's okay. It's the truth, after all."
In a tone devoid of anger or sadness, Cha In-ho took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
Cha In-ho looked uncomfortable expression as if feeling guilty, but Joo-hyun was really fine. If anything, he couldn't even understand why the guide was so concerned.
Runaway espers were not people to get close to. No one knew when they would run wild. It was natural to find it difficult to feel happy amidst them.
Fresh mountain air blew in through the open window, ruffling Joo-hyun's hair gently. He closed his eyes and savoured the sensation of his hair gently tousling. Seung-cheol's disappointed expression was swayed with the thought that he had asked for a favour.
It was a moment when Joo-hyun, consumed by regret, habitually placed a cigarette between his lips and exhaled the hazy smoke. Cha In-ho folding his glasses and placing them on the table, quietly spoke awhile watching the leaves sway in the breeze.
"...Whenever I come here, it reminds me of old memories."
The hostility in Cha In-ho's eyes had vanished. He wore a faint smile, looking nostalgic and warm, as if reminiscing about an unreachable past.
"The house I grew up in was surrounded by trees like this place."
"...."
"When I came to Block C, I saw a squirrel for the first time in a long while."
Thanks to being in the deep mountains, many wild animals roamed around the large and dangerous building. Though there were 'No Entry' signs everywhere, they meant nothing to the animals, who saw them as strange, cold trees.
"Do you like squirrels?"
"Of course. They're cute, aren't they?"
"They are. One even climbed up to my window once…"
Unconsciously, Joo-hyun continued the conversation and stole a glance at Cha In-ho. The guide leaned forward, indicating he was interested and gestured for Joo-hyun to continue.
"When I put out some peanuts, it disappeared for a while and then came back with its cheeks full."
"Haha, that's adorable."
"But it kept coming back, storing the peanuts instead of eating them, so I ended up giving it a whole bag."
"A greedy little squirrel."
Nodding at the soft response, Joo-hyun felt good talking about a pleasant memory, knowing Cha In-ho was unaware that the squirrel had accidentally electrocuted itself on the barbed wire.
"Do they sell peanuts in Block C?"
"We have many other things besides that. Almonds, walnuts, cashews... only one type of cigarette, though."
The white stick burned slowly. Instead of rubbing it on his skin, Joo-hyun stubbed it out on the corner of the table. The guide smiled, but Joo-hyun couldn't tell if it was from relief or disappointment.
He knew this meaningless conversation was Cha In-ho's way of extending an olive branch. It felt strange and awkward to have his feelings considered in Block C, where guides had absolute power.
Yet, it wasn't a bad feeling. Whenever Joo-hyun had a problem with someone, he would lock himself in his room, brood, and let his dark emotions fester. He felt fortunate that it hadn't come to that this time.
Cha In-ho raised his arm to check his wristwatch, which looked expensive even to Joo-hyun's untrained eye
"It's already been an hour, do you need more guiding?"
"No. That's enough."
He picked up his glasses and put them in his inner pocket and shove the old chair on the table. Joo-hyun didn't move.
"I'll bring the signed photo next time. Should I write your name on it?"
"Is that possible?"
"It is."
It was an unexpected offer. Joo-hyun decided to swallow his pride one last time, thinking about getting two new shirts from Seung-cheol later, and said.
"Then could you have her write 'Yeon Seung-cheol'?"
Cha In-ho flinched. After a long pause, he looked at Joo-hyun with a strangely stiff movement, like a robot.
"Yeon Seung-cheol?"
"He's the one who asked. Yeon Seung-cheol."
"…Not Shin Joo-hyun?"
"Huh? Oh, no. I don't need it."
Anything had value only if someone appreciated it. To Joo-hyun, it was just a piece of paper he couldn't throw away.
Cha In-ho, frozen in place, slowly covered his face with his hands. His neck looked a bit red, though it could have been Joo-hyun's imagination.
The stingy centre director didn't provide good heating or cooling, so it was slightly warm. Though it wasn't hot enough to make one's skin flush, Joo-hyun had no idea about the guide's physiology.
He thought Cha In-ho must just be sensitive to heat. Then, as Cha In-ho lowered his hands, Joo-hyun almost mistook his red face for embarrassment
"I'll make sure to get Bo-ra's autograph. For Yeon Seung-cheol, right?"
"You don't really need to bother. Anyway, thanks. Even if the name is wrong, he'll be happy, so don't worry too much."
Joo-hyun struggled to keep up with Cha In-ho's suddenly brighter demeanour. He lightly tapped the floor with his toe while rubbing his neck.
"Is there anything you need, Joo-hyun?"
"Not really."
"Anything at all, just tell me."
When you average out people's lives, Joo-hyun was quite far down. He'd rarely had many choices in life, and hardly anyone had ever listened to his hopes. Sometimes the occasions when people showed kindness were out of pity, and otherwise, it was to stab him in the back.
There's nothing that Cha In-ho can get by deceiving Joo-hyun, so pity must be the reason. Even if it wasn't, Joo-hyun didn't know how to handle kindness and gritted his teeth. His bad habit kicked in.
"Why?"
Even to his own ears, his tone sounded sharp. He realised it too late, but it was too late to back down now.
"Why do you care about what I need?"
The smile vanished from Cha In-ho's face. Yet, he didn't seem angry. That was strange too. Usually, when Joo-hyun pushed people away, they would frown, feel pity, and leave in disgust.
"Just because I want to."
Joo-hyun's lips twitched, but no words came out. What could he say when there was no proper reason? He bowed his head and fiddled with the matchstick that had burnt out. There was black ash on his fingertips.
"Well then..."
* * *
Click. Click. Click.
"Can't you stop that?"
Se-hwa shouted, throwing aside a completed crossword puzzle newspaper. Beom-gyu nodded in agreement beside her.
Only then did Joo-hyun realise that everyone was looking at him. In his hand was a silver lighter, and the clicking sound of its lid opening had been bothering them.