War doesn't begin with armies.
It begins with a menu screen.
And when I saw SaveFile_Y casually select "New Game" from the sky itself—rewriting cities in real time, warping Trainers mid-sentence, and literally spawning wild Pokémon with illegal movesets—I realized…
We were no longer in a Pokémon game.
We were in a developer build gone rogue.
Welcome to New Pallet Town™
It started with a ping.
LOCATION REPLACED: Pallet Town → New Pallet Town™Sponsored by: Galar Energy Drink & SableyeCoin
One moment, the classic red-roofed houses were there. The next? Gentrified.
Professor Oak had been replaced by Professor Cloud, who wore AR goggles and greeted me with, "Sup, Player_2? Ready to download your starter?"
The lab now had a Loot Box Terminal.
The music? Dubstep remixes of the Route 1 theme.
"I hate it here," Amber muttered, kicking a vending machine labeled "Press A to Unlock Common Ratmon".
Karen looked around with narrowed eyes. "The vibes here… feel patchy."
A sign popped up above us.
This area now falls under the jurisdiction of SaveFile_Y.Please accept Terms & Conditions before continuing plot.
Midnight Daddy growled.
And for the first time?
I agreed with him.
The Plotmap Fractures
Amber opened her device. "Okay, bad news: The region's storylines are now forking."
"Forking?"
"Yeah. Like—alternate versions of the same towns spawning simultaneously. Look!"
Viridian City (Classic)Viridian City (VR Edition)Viridian City: The Musical
I blinked. "What kind of Broadway nonsense—?"
"Worse," Amber said grimly. "He's making all of them canon at once. If he succeeds, he'll overwrite the true timeline. The original plot will fragment completely."
"And I lose protagonist status."
She nodded. "Exactly."
I looked at Chadlax.
He farted, and the sky cracked slightly.
"Cool," I said. "We're going to war."
SaveFile_Y Makes His Move
He appeared atop a floating Poké Ball throne, glitch-caped and smug.
"You like the new interface?" he called. "I patched out linear storytelling."
"You patched out meaning," I shouted back.
"Meaning's overrated," he replied, summoning a Pokémon that shouldn't exist:
??? sent out: Typhochampblade EX
Typing: Fire / Fighting / Sword / Subscription-BasedAbility: Double PaywallKnown Moves:
Flamethrower
Mach Punch
Sword Dance (literal)
Charge $5.99
The battlefield warped into a mobile app interface. Every action now required microtransactions.
Chadlax tried to use Rest.
Not enough PokéCoins. Would you like to watch an ad?
"ABSOLUTELY NOT," I screamed.
Karen Snaps
That's when Karen, the Eldritch Vibe Fairy, snapped.
"You DARE violate the sacred laws of aesthetic cohesion?" she whispered, glowing.
Suddenly, the battle interface cracked like a mirror.
Karen floated upward, wielding a flower like a divine scepter.
Karen used: Final Vibe CheckEffects: Deletes monetization from nearby data.
The paywalls disintegrated.
Typhochampblade EX shuddered… and evolved backwards into a confused Quilava.
SaveFile_Y narrowed his eyes. "You brought a Vibe God to a narrative war?"
"No," I said. "She brought herself."
Karen winked. The flower bloomed twice.
Midnight Daddy Evolves (Again)
As the glitchstorm raged, SaveFile_Y summoned Mewtwo.exe — a corrupted legendary that spoke only in XML errors.
I turned to Midnight Daddy. "Ready?"
He nodded.
The battlefield warped again. This time, it was inside my save file menu.
Select Pokémon for transfer:
Midnight Daddy
Chadlax
Karen
BEBOSS
??? (corrupted slot)
I chose Midnight Daddy.
He stepped forward, then began glowing — not just glowing, but updating.
Amber gasped.
"His stats are being rewritten… by player emotion."
Karen whispered, "He's achieving full edgy potential."
Congratulations! Your Midnight Daddy has achieved a new Form: Umbreon.EXETyping: Dark / LoreAbility: Angst Field — Suppresses all opponent plot relevance.
He looked at Mewtwo.exe and said:
"Your story ends here."
Then used Backstory Blast.
Mewtwo.exe wept digital tears, curled into a PokéBall, and self-deleted.
SaveFile_Y Retreats
He stared at me.
"You're just… making this all up as you go."
"Yeah," I said. "That's what writers do."
The system flared.
He hissed. "Fine. But you haven't seen my final file yet."
Then vanished in a flash of glitchlight.
Interlude: NPC Rebellion
As the dust settled, the screen lit up with reports.
Multiple NPCs have now joined the rebellion.
A Fisherman in Vermilion City started asking "Who gave me this rod and why do I never go home?"
Youngster Joey formed a union with other Rattata-based Trainers.
The PokéMart cashier now demands hazard pay for selling to chosen ones.
I sipped my drink. "The plot thickens."
Chadlax snored.
BEBOSS held up a protest sign that just said, "FREE LOUNGE RIGHTS."
Amber collapsed into a beanbag. "This war's going to get wild."
The End… of the Beginning
A final message blinked on my Trainer ID.
SaveFileGod: Status UpdatedRole: Protagonist PrimeThreat Level: UnquantifiableNext Destination: The Lost Code Region
I looked at Midnight Daddy.
He glowed.
"Looks like we're not done," I said.
He nodded.
Karen floated upside down, sipping cosmic tea.
And far above, in the debug sky, someone began watching.
patreon.com/KyJo_