4
I struggled to find meaning in existence, knowing that death awaited me in whichever route I took. Saved and far away from Danica and Alpha Rhys, just like he wanted in the letter, my safety wasn't all that guaranteed in the small village I lived in. It would have been if I weren't pregnant, and safer if the baby didn't keep growing in my womb.
I couldn't live with the lies I'd told my mom. I couldn't look her in the eye and keep on living; couldn't let her watch me die for the sins I willingly committed. I'd seen how shifters died after committing their second crimes. The chiefs of this village put them in a room called the starving room. While they starve to death, some feed on their cellmate's skin. And they all end up dying because it was called a starving room for a reason.
Accepting the last possible plan, I trudged to my small, wooden cupboard. I stared at the cupboard for a while, reflecting on what I was about to do. I'd taken all the abortion pills I had and starved myself. Still, the baby kept growing.
With a third sigh, I summoned the courage to proceed, then slowly lowered myself onto the wooden floor, my legs wrapped against each other. My perspirate hand trembled towards the cupboard knob. With the same motion, I opened the cupboard. The drawer glided forward, and my heart skipped with a stabbing pain despite knowing what I was to see in it.
A deluge of panic and anxiety surged through me. I found my whole body trembling, my pores covered with sweat, my mouth went perched. Reflexively, I swallowed countless times. Amidst the emotional commotion I battled with, I snatched the wolf bane vial from the drawer and struggled to uncap it. Not that the cap was too tight, but because I trembled like a patient who convulsed. Any passerby would hear my hyperventilating breath, which I'd tried abating, but my emotions, the fear of dying, got the best of me.
"What's wrong honey?"
The scary moment I battled with kept me in a bubble, deafening me that I didn't even hear my mom walking in. I'd all the time to end this miserable life, yet I kept delaying. My mom was still walking towards me, another chance to end my life, but still couldn't bring myself to do it.
Before she got to stand beside me to see what I was up to, I quickly kept the vial bottle in my drawer and glided it close.
"What were you doing?" She stood next to me, her gaze observing me.
"Nothing, much. Just, uh…" thinking of another lie as I wiped my face. "arranging my things in the cupboard."
"I'll do that for you afterward. Right now," she assisted me as I struggled to get to my feet. "we've got some visitors."
"What?" I regarded her with obvious disbelief. My mouth fell open, and my heart fell to my stomach. A visitor shouldn't see me pregnant. I'd be dead in two hours if that happened, and my mom knew that too well.
"Trust me, honey."
Of course, I trusted my mom, even with my own eyes closed, but her visitors…let's say I couldn't trust a third party. Especially not after what Alpha Rhys did to me, sending his mother to throw me out of the mansion and into prison. I figured that out myself after reading his letter countless times.
"Mom, I can't."
"This is the only way, honey." She smiled at me, tugging my unkempt hair behind my ears.
She went ahead to adjust my causal body-con gown, dragging it down until the artificial ruffles were straightened out.
"What's the only way?"
"Getting help." She held my hand. "You and your baby need help, you especially, my child."
She linked hands with me. "Now, come on."
Side-by-side, we left the room. I knew the faces I would be meeting but didn't know what would happen after seeing them. In the village, it was every man for him. My mom was the only one who didn't live by that rule, and I hoped this meeting worked out as she thought it would. Goosebumps were already spreading on my skin as I imagined the pain of betrayal my mom would go through should I end up in that starving room or my head getting amputated.
Just as I expected, Miss Jane, Lindsey, and Mr. Larry were in the living room; they were all standing, with obvious pity written on their faces. They were my mom's closest friends in the village. Jane was banished from the city after her husband set her up with a crime she didn't commit. Lindsey once had a pharmacy and worked in a hospital before she was degraded to a low-class citizen after killing a patient accidentally. And Larry… I knew nothing about him.
"Your mom told us what happened," Lindsey began. "Are you okay?"
"No," I whispered, shaking my head violently in disagreement.
Jane walked to me and gathered me in her hands, and my mom left to the kitchen.
"You'll be fine," Jane said, patting my hair softly.
"You don't have to worry about anything," Lindsey said behind Jane.
"Let us be the one to worry for you," Jane said, still stroking my hair.
Larry was quiet the whole time. I wondered what was going through his mind. Was he planning on giving me away? He was one of the village head chiefs, the more reason I should be scared of whatever he was thinking.
Jane broke the hug and assisted as I sat on the polyester couch. Jane and Lindsay sat on my sides, sympathizing with me and cursing the made-up rapist. My mom walked back to the living room with a tray, with four cups of coffee on it. She dropped it on the coffee table, took one cup for herself, and sat across from us on a single couch.
"This was all my fault," my mom said, placing the hot coffee on her palm. "I shouldn't have gotten ill."
"It's not your fault, Elle." Jane took a cup of coffee from the tray and took a sip.
"You should have reported to the police over there," Larry finally said something, his voice calm and appealing to my ears, relaxing my tensed nerves.
"I was scared he would deny it and the court would set him free, while… I don't know what they would have done to me," I blubbered.
"You did the right thing, my child." My mom looked at Larry with an expression I couldn't interpret.
As if the gaze were a sign he understood, he walked to where I sat. I was beginning to get the feeling they jointly planned whatever Larry was about to say as Jane walked away from the couch with her cup of coffee. After the vacancy was created, Larry sat next to me and softly held my hands.
"We'll all make sure you have this baby, and after you have the baby…" he gently squeezed my hands and loosened his grip at the same time. "I'll get two tickets for you and your child to leave the village."
My heart suddenly skipped at his last words, dilating my eyes in shock. I remembered Alpha Rhys's letter, the ginger shifter, and the Luna. The three of them were lurking around the city for me in order to kill me and feed me to Danica's dog. Alpha Rhys made that clear in the letter. I'd be meat for that dog should I listen to Larry.
I shook my head, disagreeing with him. "I won't go back there."
Alpha Rhys made it possible for little pups from the age of one to eighteen to move to the city, get rehabilitated and educated, and have the chance to make a change. I decided to live with my mom in the village and then move to the city. I was nineteen already, going to the city wouldn't be a possibility. But Larry had a way of going around those rules.
"You know the danger of getting pregnant. This village won't be safe for you and the baby," Lindsey said beside me, reminding me of what I already knew.
"It's not even safe for you at the moment," my mom said in a worried tone.
"Nothing can stay hidden for long in this small village," Larry chimed in.
"Taking you and your pup out of this village is the only way out," Lindsey said, and she was right, but then, again, I couldn't just up and leave.
"What if he sees me again, what if the baby ends up being his spitting image?" I asked, almost raising my voice, feeling frustrated none of them knew exactly what I was going through.
"Just the evidence we need to get you justice," my mom said.
"What if…" I paused. They shouldn't know Alpha Rhys was the father. They, except my mom, would kill me for sleeping with the cause of their problems.
Alpha Rhys's father, Oakley, was the reason this village came about. Oakley was once a rogue who dethroned the alpha of the Moon Vision pack. It was a slap in the face to alphas seeing a rogue taking over a pack, especially to the alliances of the Moon Vision pack. Since then, alphas had been so scared they created these small villages for members of packs that break their rules. Thereby, eliminating the chances of their packs getting attacked by rogues.
"You were saying?"
I unconsciously ignored Larry, thinking of what the baby would look like. The thought of it dropped my temperature, chilling me to my very bone. I couldn't stay in the village if the child was planning to look like the father, and I couldn't go to the city knowing I would lose my life. What should I possibly do?