I had to get out of this situation!
In my heart, I sent greetings to all eighteen generations of Madam Wang's ancestors, but my face remained as calm as a pond on a windless day.
Using the excuse of wiping my mouth with a napkin, I discreetly spat out the dumpling.
Then I looked up, eyes shimmering with tears, and gazed at my mother-in-law.
"Mom, these dumplings are just too delicious!"
That one line left Madam Wang completely stunned
I have a little quirk:
If there's a blessing, I'll enjoy it first; if there's trouble, I make sure everyone gets a taste.
So I beamed at my father-in-law, Mr. Zhang, and called out to him sweetly.
Then I made a big "ahh" mouth gesture at him, like a baby bird waiting for a worm.
Mr. Zhang, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, instinctively mimicked me and opened wide.
Quick as a flash, I snatched my husband Zhou Fan's chopsticks, grabbed one of those bitter melon and ginger dumplings, and stuffed it right into Mr. Zhang's mouth.
He started chewing, but after two bites, he clutched his throat, eyes bulging, desperate to spit it out.
I jumped in, "Dad, are you trying to spit it out? Do you think Mom's dumplings taste bad?"
Mr. Zhang shook his head with the determination of a man choosing between poison and a firing squad, and silently shut his mouth.
He looked like a tragic hero about to meet his doom.
When he finally managed to swallow, his eyes rolled so far back I thought he might see his childhood.
Next, I quickly shoved the rest of my dumpling into Zhou Fan's mouth, ever the loving wife.
I even helped him close his jaw, like I was tucking in a reluctant toddler.
Zhou Fan's face scrunched up tighter with every chew, his features folding in on themselves like origami.
But since I was watching, he didn't dare spit it out.
After he finally forced it down, he chugged two huge glasses of water and still kept dry heaving.
On the third glass, he let out a heroic burp.
Afraid I'd feed him another, he pleaded, "Honey, I... I'm full."
Good! If he's full, that means it's finally time for my dear mother-in-law to get her turn.
There's no way I'm letting her off the hook!
I picked up the remaining dumplings, walked over to Madam Wang, and squatted down beside her.
Snatching her chopsticks, I put on my most devout expression, picked up a dumpling, and held it right at her lips.
"Mom, you have to eat too."
Madam Wang leaned back so far I thought she'd tip over, trying to dodge me.
I leaned in closer, right in front of her phone camera.
"Aunties, uncles, you all saw how hard Mom worked this morning making dumplings—she even made me a special plate!
Mom loves me, but I can't break tradition. Mom is the head of this family, so she deserves the best!"
My words made all the relatives on the group call blush with excitement.
They were practically falling over themselves to agree.
"Xiuying, you found yourself a good daughter-in-law this time! She's way better than the last few. Quick, eat up!"
"With Xiaoyan around, you'll finally get to enjoy the blessings of a filial daughter-in-law!"
Oh, don't worry. I'll be so filial, she won't know what hit her.
The video call erupted in praise.
Madam Wang's face was turning greener by the second, like she'd just eaten a whole field of bitter melon.
Finally, she couldn't hold it in and tried to say something, but I seized the moment and stuffed the biggest bitter melon-ginger dumpling into her mouth.
"Look at how much Mom enjoys these! Since you love this filling so much, I'll make it for you every day.
I'll feed you myself, and all the aunties and uncles can keep me accountable!"
That got another round of applause from the mobile.
The six old ladies on the call were about to nominate me for Daughter-in-law of the Year.
Meanwhile, the three people at the table, Zhou Fan, Mr. Zhang, and Madam Wang were all shivering, wearing the same expression you'd have after eating a mouthful of manure.
Madam Wang tried to escape by reaching for her water glass, but I was faster.
I grabbed the cup and helped her drink, like a nurse force-feeding a stubborn patient.
She knew as well as I did that these dumplings were not meant for human consumption, so she gulped them down with water, not even bothering to chew.
Perfect. The moment she swallowed, I was already shoving a second dumpling into her mouth.
"Mom, you can't stop at just one! You're the star of today's feast!"
Madam Wang's eyes started darting around, looking for an escape route, but I blocked her in like a sumo wrestler guarding the fridge.
The relatives on the video call were loving it.
"Look at how close this mother and daughter-in-law are! Xiuying, you're so lucky!"
Lucky, indeed.
If luck means getting a taste of your own medicine, then Madam Wang just hit the jackpot.