Chen Cebai slowly nodded.
He seemed normal again—his eyes no longer held that cold, reptilian emptiness, and the ghostly hands lurking in the shadows were keeping a safe distance.
But Qiu Yu knew—it was all just surface-level.
He had originally been ready to let her go. But the moment she admitted she loved him, he'd clearly changed his mind. The way he stared at her, with a fixation bordering on pathological, was all the proof she needed.
—The moment she gave even the slightest indication of trying to leave, those ghostly hands would clamp down on her most vulnerable spots without hesitation.
Not that Qiu Yu minded.
She had no intention of leaving him anyway.
She had planned to confess in an organized, coherent way—but now her mind was blank. So she simply said whatever came to her.
"I remember you once said… you weren't as good as I thought you were. But have you ever considered, maybe I'm not as good as you thought either?"
Chen Cebai stared at her quietly.
Without his glasses, the madness in his eyes stood out more starkly—calm, yet completely deranged. It was as if no matter what she said, he would slowly and thoroughly digest it, word by word.
"What I'm going to say next might sound melodramatic to you… but I need to tell you what's really in my heart."
Qiu Yu clasped his bound hands and leaned against his shoulder.
"I'm someone who… grew up very starved for love."
"My parents always taught me: if you want to survive in this world, you have to constantly remind yourself that everyone is your enemy—even your parents. If one day I ever stood in the way of their promotion, they would kill me without hesitation."
Qiu Yu let out a soft laugh.
"I get where they were coming from. To stay in the ruling class, you have to be cold, ruthless, calculating—or you'll be destroyed. It's just how the world works."
"I understand how this world operates," she said, lowering her gaze. "But I don't want to live that way… I want to live like a normal person."
"After graduation, I was supposed to marry Pei Xi and go into the biotech industry. But for the first time, I defied their wishes and became a journalist instead."
"Do you remember the day my parents arranged for us to meet?" Qiu Yu asked. "I told you that marriage, for me, was more of a business partnership than a union of love. That was a lie. I hate everything transactional. And I hated how cold and logical you were that day. But… I still wanted to marry you. So I lied."
She gave a faint smirk—mischievous, yet tinged with confusion.
"Do you think things would've been better… for both of us… if I hadn't lied? If I'd just told you from the beginning that I liked you, and I needed your full, undivided love? Maybe then… you wouldn't have suffered so much?"
"I was furious today—but not because you've been genetically modified. Not because you're the Watcher or the Invader. Not even because you control those… things."
Her voice softened.
"I was angry because you never told me anything. If you'd just told me that you loved me that much, that you were the one watching me, and you were the one who hijacked the billboard, I wouldn't have been so afraid."
"What I'm afraid of… is the unknown. Not you."
Chen Cebai's throat bobbed heavily.
"And I'm glad," she went on, "glad that you love me to this extent…" She hesitated, then admitted, "You know what? When I realized you were the Watcher, I was actually kind of thrilled. I already knew you loved me… but not that much. I didn't tell you, because honestly, that thought felt a little twisted. But if I'd known earlier that you…"
She frowned slightly, as if regretting her own hesitation.
Chen Cebai closed his eyes and—for the first time—tried to steady his breathing.
It felt unreal.
Qiu Yu loved him.
Qiu Yu needed his love.
Qiu Yu wasn't afraid of being watched by him. She was even… delighted by it.
She didn't care about his filthy, shameful actions.
She didn't care that he had once been a disgusting mass of flesh and blood.
All she cared about—was that he had kept it from her.
Even his most outlandish fantasies had never dared to imagine a moment this perfect.
Qiu Yu buried her face against the cold side of his neck and took a long breath.
"You know how I felt when I saw those videos?" she whispered. "I was devastated. And furious. Devastated by your past. Furious at your silence. I don't even know how to describe that sadness… I haven't experienced much tragedy myself, so I couldn't find the right emotion to empathize with you. But that doesn't mean I wanted to leave."
"I hated that you kept things from me. It made me feel like you didn't want me close… Ever since we got married, that feeling has been haunting me. I'm so tired of reaching for you and never being able to reach you."
Her voice trembled. Moisture crept into it.
Chen Cebai instinctively lowered his gaze—just in time to feel a teardrop fall against the side of his neck.
It wasn't hot, but it itched like an ant bite.
And inside him, something slick and dark curled into a pleasure so twisted, it almost made him shiver.
—She cried for him.
He had fantasized about this moment before.
He'd assumed that when it finally happened, he wouldn't feel thrilled the way he imagined—but sad, heartbroken.
But it turned out… it was the exact opposite.
The thrill didn't fade. It intensified—so much that half his chest went numb. Even his eye sockets ached, as if something inside them was wriggling, trying to burst free and reach out in place of his hands, in place of his lips, to wipe away her tears.
Chen Cebai closed his eyes, locking those grotesque instincts away. Then he opened his mouth, voice husky:
"You're crying."
Qiu Yu was both sad and exasperated. "Obviously—because of you! And who told you you could speak?"
"…Sorry."
"I don't want your apology," she choked, "I want your promise. Promise me you'll never lie to me again. Never shut me up. I want you to give yourself to me, completely. Can you do that? If not, then just get the hell out of my life."
Chen Cebai lowered his eyes and looked at her. This time, it wasn't the kind of gaze that could peel back her skin and see her bones. But somehow, it was even more raw—more terrifying in its honesty.
"You really want me… with nothing held back?"
Qiu Yu's brow arched. "What do you think?"
Chen Cebai paused, then lowered his head, brushing his cheek gently against hers.
There was something tentative in the gesture—something that almost felt like… seeking approval.
Qiu Yu felt the sharp line of his jaw grazing her skin. Her heart swelled—sweet and bitter all at once.
"I'm glad," Chen Cebai whispered, "that you cried for me."
Qiu Yu wasn't nearly as glad. She was just about to reply when he continued, in that unnervingly calm voice:
"…That's my most honest thought. Say I'm vile, say I'm shameless—I don't care. You love me, you're not afraid of me, you cried for me, and you're willing to accept who I really am. That makes me feel unreal. It makes me feel…"
He held her gaze tightly, eyes brimming with an ecstasy too fierce to contain:
"...wildly, overwhelmingly thrilled.
Even if you asked me to die for you right now—
I'd do it with a smile on my face."