Chapter 4
Maya angrily found her way through the crowd of dancing people who were very high and drunk, her eyes scanning around like she was looking for someone.
The pungent smell which filled the air made her stomach churned. She coughed out inhaling smoke from a couple of people smoking by the stairs. She waved her hand as if trying to clear the air.
She spotted Katie who was intensely kissing a girl right in the corner, her hands under the girls clothes as if they were ready to make out right in front of everyone.
Maya was too angry to be surprised at what she was saw.
She figured it was better to leave her than to ruin her intense moment, so she left the party her self.
Some guys tried offering her ride but she declined. They didn't back off easily without Maya putting up a fight.
She bit one of the guys hand who yelped in pain .
"Bitch what was that for"
"Fuck off you piss of trash" She yelled
Immediately they backed off.
"Aight"
They enter their car and zoomed off not without giving Maya a middle finger.
She glared at them ignoring them.
She got to her dorm clearly exhausted, she laid on her letting out a deep sigh.
The tears she had been holding back started streaming down her cheeks.
" I fucking hate this feeling". She cursed a sharp pain pierced her heart, she held her chest like her heart was about to burst out.
She got up,sitting in front of her mirror, staring at her face in disgust, a feeling of a mockery crept through her body, her throat dried and her voice croaking.
She almost couldn't hear herself whimpering as her dried throat couldn't let out a sound.
She sniffed grabbing a wipe from her drawer.
She angrily cleaned her face hurriedly the makeup smearing her face.
She groaned in frustration at the sight of how messy she looked.
She crossed her arm her nails digging into her skin, she kept tapping her feet on the floor like she was trying to calm herself.
"I hate this, I'm not her… she not here". She moaned
"I can't be like her"
She whimpered hugging herself tight.
She was so weak that she had to crawl into the bathroom to take a shower.
She sat under the shower hugging her knee as water rushed down her weak body.
Her emotions flickering torn between despair and fading hope.
After spending 30 minutes under the shower, she found little strength to walk to her bed but not without staggering.
Her legs felt heavy with throbbing pain piercing through her legs as she took each step to her bed.
But it was not compared to what she felt in heart.
She laid, curled up on her bed her breath trembling.
Her head kept replaying the scene at the front porch with Liam, she tried blocking it off but her body wouldn't listen to her denying her will.
She felt betrayed by her body and bursted into tears, all the feeling she had hidden,all the feelings she had buried deep in her heart came crawling out like they were reminding her they had not gone that they were still within her.
She knew she loved him,no that she still loves him and she felt impure at the thought of this.
He was her first and still the only one her heart craved for.
A scene from the past played in her head.
One night when she was almost fourteen after having a fight with her sister. She sneaked her out of the house to go skating.
Dressed like her Mia, she wanted to feel like her.
From when she was little,she had felt inferior to her sister, her sister was good at everything she tried doing.
She felt everything came so easy for her sister unlike her who had to struggled to do anything.
Just like skating, she starting skating first but her sister was now more better than her, she even had a skating competition in two months time.
It didn't matter whether she started doing something first or put in all her effort her sister was always going to be better than her.
So that night she thought dressing up like her sister would give her strength, give her courage like some sort of power fueling her body.
She sneaked off to the roller rink to say to final good bye to roller skating, she felt dressing like Mia will dim her fit to say goodbye in an honorable way and not like a loser leaving her in regret.
She got to the rink and watched everyone as they skated happily, nervousness suddenly clouded her.
Immediately she started doubting herself,feeling if she hadn't made a terrible mistake.
She slowly browsed through the crowd like she was trying to read everyone.
There her eyes met a boy sitting alone on the bench.
He had a troubled look on his face, he looked like he didn't fit in here.
The face was unfamiliar.
In this small town, it wasn't hard to know recognize everyone's faces.
"Maybe he just moved here". She thought.
She slowly walked over to him, but he didn't even notice as she came over to him.
She heaved a deep sigh and quietly sat beside him.
The air around her was awkward that immediately she felt as if she had made a mistake.
Sneaking was already a terrible idea and this was the smallest of her problem she thought.
"Hi". She blurted out staring at him waiting for him to acknowledge her presence.
The boy looked over at her obviously confused.
"Me?". He asked pointing at himself.
"Yeah you, you're new"
"Yeah" he answered with hesitation.
"Ohh.. uhm welcome to this small town"
She let out a slight chuckle which came out awkwardly.
She looked away feeling embarrassed.
Immediately he laughed out softly almost quiet.
She glanced at him and was amused at the way his facial expression changed.
"He looks nice" she thought.
A wild smile crept on her face, she felt she broken the wall between them a little.
"I'm Mia" she said lying. She didn't understand why she lied but it was too late to go back.
But that lie, would forever hunt her.A lie that she would regret for a very long.
She felt acting like her sister down to even her would boost her confidence and make her feel accepted.
"I'm Liam"
"So you are here to skate or not?" She asked curiously studying his face.
" I don't know, I just heard some bunch of kids talking about this place so I decided to check it out"
"Ohhh"
"So you, you here for skating?"
"Yeah, home feels suffocating for me"
He looked over at her,as his face lit up a little.
"Yeah me too, I just wanted to run away from that side of me which felt tainted". He muttered.
She tilted her head trying to read him.
He clasped his hands together and suddenly paused. He look over at Maya who quickly pulled her head back.
He chuckled staring at her, she felt some sort of relief as she watched the boy who she just met for the first time laugh.
"Well, I don't know for me it like the universe has it way of being so cruel to me. No matter how I try I feel like i don't belong like I'm the cause of the problem, like for the story to keep going I don't have to matter"
"The universe is really cruel". He said jokingly. "Do you have something you love "
"Me?" She looked at him in surprise feeling confused. "Well painting and skating but am about to quit skating"
"Why"
"I suck at it"
"Ohh and painting"
"I don't know I'm kinda good I guess but I never paint in front of people it's a secret for me"
Painting had been the only thing she felt she really owned,that is if her sister doesn't pick up painting also.
"Why can't you paint in front of people"
"Nothing,I don't really want to talk about that… just a stupid reason"
"I also paint too but once in while,home hasn't been a good place for me so I can't seem to find time to paint"
"Ohh sorry about"
Maya said with a hint of sadness in her voice, he was just like her she thought.
"No don't be,it's fine. Not like this is first my mom is getting a divorce". He said nonchalantly
She stared at him clearly shocked,not what to say.
She didn't know whether to say anything or just keep quiet.
The two went quiet for some minute not knowing what to say before Maya broke the awkward silence.
"You should try painting, painting is like a sort of comfort for me. I love how my emotions can be told from painting, how a painting can tell a story, how it make me feel like I'm the only one that matters"
For Maya, she felt painting secretly will not make her sister develop an interest in it, so she hides all her painting away from her sister's sight.
She wanted to have something that belong to her alone, something that made her feel she was very good at it.
"You should try it, you should express yourself, express the rage within you, pour out your emotion. It's fine if you do that no one will judge you nor take that from you. You are not alone Liam " she added.
He widened his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He gazed intensely her at.
Pent up anguish overflowed, releasing a deluge pain. The weight of the suppressed feelings finally gave away, flooding his body.
The words he had always been hoping to hear, the comfort he felt from her was so hard to describe that his eyes became teary.
She was taken aback immediately, fidgeting she quickly wrapped her arms around him,as if trying to comfort him.He felt a wave of calmness wash over him.
"I'm here, you are not alone". She whispered, her voice a gentle breeze on a summer day.
What he never knew was that he was also comforting her too, all what she had said wasn't for him alone but for her too.
The two melted into each others arm, as the throbbing pain in their heart was swept away by a wave of happiness.
"That my song". She blurted out as she pushed him back gentle.
He stared at her in amusement, grinning as he watched her.
She gestured for him to stand up but he shook his in disagreement, laughing softly.
She pulling his hands urging him to stand up which he finally did.
As the opening chords of her favorite song filled the air, she felt an inexplicable rush of excitement. Without thinking she began singing her along, her voice blending seamlessly with the melody. The lyrics poured out of her mouth like she had known it forever, as she felt a deep connection to the song.
He stared at her in amusement as she pulled him across the rink, he carefully followed her steps trying not to stumble over.
"You are pretty good". He said to her with a wide smile.
"You think so?"
"Yeah I do"
He pulled her closer, spinning her over.
"Thanks" she muttered panting heavily.
...
Present Day
As she let out a deep sigh remembering the past. Suddenly a weight was lifted off her shoulders. The tension in her body began to unravel, like threads releasing from a tightly wound knot. Her breathing slowed, and her mind cleared.
Relief washed over her like a soothing balm, calming her frazzled nerves. She felt like she had been holding her breath underwater and finally surfaced, gasping in a refreshing breath of air.
Her worries faded into the background. She smiled faintly , feeling a sense of lightness. The heaviness she felt in her chest finally melting away, and she could breathe again.
In that moment, relief was a warm hug, enveloping her in comfort and peace as she drifted to sleep snuggling up her pillow.
...…..
Liam walked into an office, the office which was a haven of organization and tranquility. Sunlight streamed through the window, illuminating a tidy desk and gleaming computer screen. The air was crisp and fresh, with a hint of productivity.
Every item had its designated place, from neatly stacked files to precisely aligned pens. The minimalist decor added a touch of sophistication, while the lush green plants brought in a splash of natural beauty.
The atmosphere was calm and focused, with a middle age woman sitting in front of the computer.
She stopped what she was doing immediately she saw him enter and rose from her seat.
"Mr Liam" she called as she stood up to go meet him.
She gestured for him to on a sofa, which he did.
"Thanks". He muttered his voice rather cold.
"So finally you came back, seems something must have happened".
He rolled his eyes, resting his back on the chair.
The woman was his therapist who he never really liked. Not that she did anything bad to him but he didn't like the idea of someone trying to reach into head.
She watched him carefully as if trying to read him.
He narrowed his brow knowing what she was trying to do.
"So I met her again"
"By her.. you mean your ex". She asked giving him a puzzling look.
"No her sister". He paused adjusting himself "I guess". He added.
"Studying you, you mistook her sister for her"
He scoffed then smirked knowing she had read him like he was an open book.
"Yeah I did and guess I fucked up.. I know I did… she just looked a lot like her. All my buried feelings came out the first day I saw her at school then it took over me finally when I saw her at the party"
"Mr Liam accepting the past can be cruel, you need to know it not an easy thing. Letting go can sound like an harsh truth but that how you accept the past. By letting go it means you are accepting the past, you can take your time healing is not a one day thing"
Liam stared at her quietly, he heaved a deep sigh as he clasped his hands.
"I don't know what you did to her but you clearly need to apologize to her". She added
...…..
Maya was surprised when she didn't see Liam in class, she felt something had happened to him.
She questioned herself why she felt worried about him not being in school.
She left the class immediately after lectures with Katie, they got outside the department building,there they saw Liam standing leaning on his bike like he had been waiting for someone.
Their eyes met, she quickly looked away and tried avoiding but he ran up to her blocking her from leaving.
"What". She snapped, furrowing her brows. Her pursed lips showed she wasn't happy with the way he acted to him.
"Lee you better not be trying any shit here" Katie said sounding crossed. She gave him a warning look.
He sighed, gazing intensely at Maya
"I'm here to apologize"
They stared at him in surprise like they couldn't believe their ear.
"Wow from a douchebag to a gentle man,interested". Katie muttered under her breath giving him a sarcastic look.
"I'm sorry about the other night, I don't know what came over me"
She looked at him, his eyes pleading with her on silent entreaty.
"I want to take you somewhere". He added
"Where?" She asked with a puzzled look.
"You will see"
"I don't know about…."
"I promise you will love it" he said cutting her off.
She look at him not knowing whether to accept or not,eventually she gave in.
Saying no to him was kinda hard for her.
She turned over to Katie who just stood watching them.
"I will catch up with you later"
"You sure you will be fine" she asked with a questioning look rather than concern.
"Yeah don't worry"
"Ok if you say so"
She walked behind him,as he led the way, his stride purposeful, until they reached his motorcycle. The bike gleamed in the sunlight, its chrome accents reflecting the surroundings.
He stopped beside it, running a hand over the handlebars, his fingers tracing the curves. She watched as he grabbed a helmet, then wore it over her head carefully adjusting it.
The bike seemed like an extension of him, a symbol of freedom and adventure. As he turned to face her, a hint of a smile played on his lips, and she sensed a story behind his eyes, one that the bike was a part of.
They hopped on the bike and rode away, she wrapped her hands around his waist holding him tight like the wind could blow her away at any moment.
Thee warmth of his back radiated through her jacket. The bike roared to life beneath them, and they glided forward, the wind whipping through her hair.
With each turn, she felt his body lean into hers, their closeness creating a thrilling sense of intimacy. The world blurred around them, leaving only the rush of the ride and the gentle pressure of her chest against his back.
She rested her cheek against his shoulder, feeling the gentle vibrations of the engine and the beat of his heart. The freedom of the open road mingled with the excitement of being so close to him, creating a heady mix of emotions.
In this moment, the bike became a vessel for their connection, carrying them forward into a shared experience that felt both exhilarating and intimate.
Once she had gotten to use to the motion, she slowly lifted her hands into the air with exhilaration.
"You don't drive car again". She asked her voice barely loud cause of the wind.
"No, not after that day.. it still feels suffocating for me".
She regretted asking him the question immediately, she didn't know the incident changed him totally to this extent.
"Whoooooooo" she screamed, laughing out loud to trying to changed damped mood which worked.
The feeling she felt on that bike with him was what she had always wanted to feel in a long time,like she owned the moment as if it was only theirs too see and enjoy.
Liam glanced over at her with a wide smile of satisfaction.
They pulled over in front a field, a floral garden to be precise.
"This is it". He said lifting up her helmet.
She looked around amazed at the wonderful view, it felt like something out of a painting.
She paused and stared at him giving him a questioning look.
"Why did you bring me here"
"Nothing I just wanted to"
"She would have loved it, you know she loved flowers". She said her voice cracking with a hint of sadness.She didn't know if the view was for her or for her sister.
Jealousy crept under her skin thinking about this.
"No I brought you here knowing you also like flowers". Liam finally said smiling.
Her eyes opened widely in shock.
She couldn't believe what she heard. How did he know, when did he notice she thought.
A sense of relief filled up her body after hearing that….
She pulled off her shoes slowly walking into the garden her. Her feet on the damp soil brushing through the flowers.
He stayed behind watching her with a smile.
She glanced over at him, letting out a smile,waving at him.
She gestured for him to come over but he declined.
Like the fleeting wind that gently brushed through the flowers field allowing them to dance to the direction of wind with flower petal joyfully parading the air as if it was something out of a fairy tale she ran across the field spreading out her hands, taking in the fresh breath from field as she gracefully picked flower smelling them and their beautiful scent filling up her head at that moment she felt a little alive than she had ever felt in a long time.
She let out a scream as she ran across the field.
He stood over watching her as she ran across the field a wide grin appeared on his face marveled at the sight of her running.
He quickly grabbed a pencil and book from under the seat which served as some sort of storage.
He sketched her as she ran freely across the field.
After fifteen minutes of twirling and running she finally remembered she was not alone.
She went over to go meet him and noticed he was sketching out something.
"What's that". She asked curiously.
He quickly hid the book leaving her curious.
"When I'm done you will see it".
She pouted her lips in disappointment.
"I promise" he added.
She heaved a deep sigh fiddling with her fingers nervously
"Thanks Liam, I really needed that"
He glanced over at as he watched her act clumsily.
Then suddenly the look on his changed to a concerned look as he held her hands.
"I'm really sorry for behaving like a jerk..I didn't know what came over, it's been hard you know"
He leaned over to her face his voice sounding sincere and apologetic.
"It's fine Liam, I'm fine, you are fine ". She whispered.
Suddenly they both paused, silence fell like a palpable barrier between them. Nervous energy crackled, and uncertainty crept in. Each waited for the other to bridge the gap, their hearts pounding in unison
The air was charged with anticipation as they stood inches apart, their eyes locked in a silent understanding. The world around them melted away, leaving only the promise of a kiss.
Time stretched, and the silence became a heavy, almost unbearable weight. Would they take the leap, or would fear hold them back? The moment hung suspended, filled with possibility and promise.
Suddenly his lips brushed against hers, sending shivers down her spine. The world around them melted away, leaving only the gentle pressure of their mouths meeting.
The kiss deepened, and she felt herself getting lost in the moment, her heart racing with excitement. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer, as if trying to merge their souls.
Time stood still, and all that existed was the tender exploration of each other's lips, the sweet dance of their hearts beating as one.
She didn't know what to think if the kiss, was a promise, a question, or an answer all at once, leaving them both breathless and wanting more.
At that moment, she realized their relationship had shifted, crossing from the safety of friendship into uncharted territory. The question now wasn't if they'd go back, but where this new path would lead. The thrill of the unknown mingled with the comfort of his presence, creating a potent mix of emotions.
In that instant, she knew everything had changed, and nothing would ever be the same again.
All she wanted was to enjoy the feeling,she felt at that moment then the rest could come later.
As they pulled away for a brief moment, their eyes met, and they smiled, the connection between them palpable. Then, they leaned in again, their lips meeting once more, the world around them melting away, leaving only the beauty of the moment.
As they continued kissing, their embrace grew tighter, their hearts pounding in unison. The world around them dissolving , leaving only the gentle dance of their lips and the warmth of their skin. Every moment felt like an eternity, yet it was over too soon. They slowly parted, gasping for air, their eyes locked in a tender gaze.
Now they knew something had shifted between them.
"I love him". She thought, her head feeling hazy as she lost her balance.