The mist rolled lazily over the twisting canyons of the mid-layer, a place where the Depths fell silent just long enough to deceive. Julius Vendet, Flamecharmer, stomach ever-rumbling, marched beside the level 1 Felinor cutie, Emilia—tail swishing behind her, silver fur catching the gloom light like moonlight through ash. She looked around nervously, spear in hand, clutching a tiny Depths map upside down.
"Don't worry, babe," Julius said, stuffing his mouth with dried shark-tooth jerky. "With me around, you won't even need that thing. I got Depths pathfinding in my bloodstream."
"That's... not how anything works," Emilia muttered. But her words fell flat against Julius's next line.
"You ever seen Rising Flame up close?" he said, puffing up like a Megurger before a bite. "I'm the guy who invented fire... well, at least the part that eats everything it touches."
Suddenly, a Scyphozoan floated past them. Before it could blink, Julius roasted it alive, turned it into tempura, and offered a skewered tentacle to Emilia.
"No thanks," she said with a polite smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I brought rations."
"Rations?" Julius scoffed. "You mean peasant pellets? Girl, you're traveling with the King of Calories."
He pulled out a tiny stove, two frying pans, a vat of oil, and a pocket Megurger. Emilia blinked.
"You carry a fryer in your bag?"
"It's my essence," Julius said gravely, lighting it with a flick of Flamecharmer energy. "Watch and learn."
Hours Later...
They had beaten a dozen monsters. Emilia was improving, learning from Julius. He was surprisingly patient—when he wasn't licking his fingers or simping every time she breathed. At one point, she asked how to cast her Flame Leech mantra more efficiently, and he grabbed her hand in both of his massive greasy mitts, staring into her eyes with dramatic tears.
"For you, Emilia… I'd die to teach one mantra. I'd kiss a Thresher on the lips."
"That's... so gross."
They reached an open area. The sound of scraping claws and a deep, rumbling growl echoed across the stone walls.
A King Thresher.
Emilia hesitated. "We can go around."
Julius flexed. "Nah. This one's for you."
"Wait, what do you mean for—"
Julius was already charging forward, flame bursting from his feet. "HEY BIG BOY! YOU LIKE BBQ?!"
The Thresher lunged. Julius barely dodged. A swipe took half his coat off. His eyes were blazing. He unleashed Rising Flame, spinning with molten fists.
"THIS IS FOR EMILIAAA!"
He was slammed into a rock wall, ribcage cracking audibly. Still, he stood. Grinned. Flames danced around his body.
Then—boom—an explosion of fire sent the Thresher reeling. Julius leapt, both fists engulfed, and punched down like a flaming meteor.
The King Thresher collapsed. Dead. Julius fell on his knees, panting, bleeding.
"Emilia... now... I just got... one request."
He looked up at her. Snot dripping from his nose, lips trembling.
"Can I touch your boobs... and get a Large Megurger... and maybe a Thresher milkshake... as reward...?"
The silence was crushing.
Emilia stared at him. Wide-eyed. Horrified.
"You... weird... gooner."
Julius blinked.
"What?"
"You absolute weird gooner," she repeated, backing away. "I thought you were a good guy, just a little... food obsessed. But you're—gross!"
"I... I just thought we had chemistry," Julius mumbled.
"No! You have chemistry with calories!"
Then she stormed off, tail flicking with fury.
Meanwhile…
Back near Castle Light's underground caverns, Reinhart Era sat with his back to a cracked stone wall, adjusting his gauntlets. His Ironsing blade hummed on the ground beside him. He was silent, his violet eyes tracing the rhythmic flicker of the nearby Depths lanterns.
Subaru Olof sat cross-legged a few feet away, chewing on something suspiciously expired. It looked like a Megurger that had seen time itself.
"You're eating again?" Reinhart asked flatly.
Subaru shrugged. "Stress food. Alen's aura is still stuck in my skull. That man makes Voidwalkers cry."
"True," Reinhart muttered. "But you parried him."
"I accidentally parried him," Subaru corrected. "It was muscle instinct, terror reflex."
"And he still wants to know where you came from."
"I don't even know where I came from!"
They both sat in silence.
Then Subaru pulled something from his coat. "Want a bite?"
Reinhart looked down at the decaying meat sandwich, the mayo barely clinging to its existence. "No."
Subaru grinned. "Suit yourself. Hey, do you think Julius is okay?"
Reinhart closed his eyes.
"Knowing Julius?" he sighed. "He's probably elbow-deep in a Megurger, crying over a girl."
Cut to: Julius, alone in a clearing, holding a broken Megurger, muttering:"She called me a gooner... and didn't even leave the milkshake..."