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Chapter 36 - **Chapter 36: Oh Dumb Baby Brother, Are You Despairing Yet?**

The crowd gasped in unison, their eyeballs bulging like overinflated basketballs.

"Double pupils! The legendary *Double Pupils of the Ancient Overlords*!" someone shrieked, causing a ripple of chaos.

"Bro, are you kidding me?!" a peanut gallery member yelled, clutching his heart melodramatically. "This kid's been hogging all the cheat codes since birth! Born with 'Emperor Potential,' mastered sword energy at eight, and now *this*? Might as well rename him 'Plot Armor: The Human!'"

The scene was pure pandemonium. Even Moon Goddess—a woman known for her icy composure—looked like she'd just chugged a gallon of espresso. *"I don't care if I have to bribe him with a lifetime supply of candy floss,"* she thought, fan-girling internally. *"This sassy gremlin* ***will*** *join my Sparkly Moon Kingdom!"*

Meanwhile, the Qin Clan elders resembled a group of grandpas who'd accidentally wandered into a K-pop concert. They gaped at Qin Tian, the boys' father, who was sweating bullets under their collective glare.

"*Eight years*," growled Elder Beardface, wagging a gnarly finger. "You had *eight years* to notice your son has *glowy demon eyes* and a *diamond spine*?! You're getting duct-taped to the clan's inflatable shame-dragon later!"

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Down below, Lin San—the story's resident "Chosen One™"—was having an existential crisis. "No… no, no, NO!" he muttered, rocking back and forth. "This violates the *sacred laws of protagonist fairness*! Where's *my* ancient eyeball upgrade?!"

**[Ding!]** A robotic voice chirped in Qin Feng's head. **[Congratulations! You've emotionally damaged the Hero™. Reward: 10,000 Villain Points. New Achievement Unlocked: 'Crybaby Crusher'!]**

Qin Feng smirked. *Perfect.* He glanced at his trembling little brother, Qin Hao, who looked like he'd just seen a unicorn vomit rainbows.

**[Ding!]** The system beeped again. **[Little Brother's Trauma Level: 90%! Keep going! Prize: Mythic Loot Box (Contains: 1x Red-Furred Elder's Cursed Hairpiece)!]**

"Time to go *full drama llama*," Qin Feng whispered. With a flourish, he unleashed swirling golden runes—the hallmark of a **MAXED-OUT DIVINE TECHNIQUE**.

The crowd lost it.

"*He's* ***eight*** *and already flexing* ***God-tier skills***?!" a woman fainted. "My thirty-year-old self still trips over *fireball* spells!"

Qin Hao wobbled, his tiny face scrunching up. Sure, *he* had a snazzy Saint-tier technique, but next to his brother's golden sparkles? It was like bringing a rubber duck to a dragon fight.

**[Trauma Level: 95%!]** The system cheered.

"Alright, final boss move!" Qin Feng yelled, summoning a **GIGANTIC SWORD EMBLEM** that lit up the sky like a Walmart parking lot. The crowd's jaws collectively hit the floor.

"Ladies and germs," Qin Feng purred, striking a pose straight out of a superhero trailer. "Behold… the **Divine Swordplay: Karen's Manager Summoning Slash**!"

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Qin Hao stumbled backward, tears pooling. "*Too OP…*" he hiccuped. "*Why's big bro gotta be the* ***final boss*** *of my life?*"

Suddenly, Dad Qin Tian placed a hand on his shoulder. No words—just a nod and a thumbs-up that screamed, *"You got this, kiddo! Maybe… probably not, but fake it till you make it!"*

Qin Hao sniffled, puffing out his chest. "I-I'll beat you someday, Bro! Even if I have to… to *eat ALL my veggies* and train *TWICE* on weekends!"

The elders facepalmed. "*We're* ***rooting*** *for you, but… maybe invest in a good therapist too,*" one mumbled.

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Elsewhere, Moon Goddess was busy side-eyeing two geriatric emperors who'd teleported in wearing robes bedazzled enough to blind a peacock.

"Qin Feng's *ours* now," declared the Emperor, cracking his knuckles. "Resist, and we'll cancel your clan's Netflix subscription!"

"Over my dead glitter cape!" Moon Goddess hissed, summoning her pet armored tortoise (named *Sir Shells-a-Lot*). Meanwhile, Qin Feng—ever the opportunist—latched onto her leg like a koala.

"Save me, Moon Mommy!" he wailed, batting his eyelashes. "I'll be your kingdom's *sparkliest menace*! Also, do you have Wi-Fi?"

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**Post-Credits Scene:**

Zi Luan, Qin Feng's childhood friend, squinted at the chaos. "*Who* ***are*** *you, Qin Feng?*" she whispered, pulling out a magnifying glass and deerstalker hat. "A villain? A hero? A… *sassy magical girl*? The mystery *thickens!*"

**[To Be Continued…]**

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