As a father, I've always found joy in "my children." That's what my dad said before he went to that bloody battle... to get milk.
I sighed as I looked at the empty grave. There was no one else around—imagine a funeral with no attendees, except me. I kept staring at that grave, thinking, and then...
Knock knock, rat-a-tat-tat, shhhhhhhhhhh...
The sky began to rain on me. As if my day couldn't get any worse. But despite it all, I didn't cry. Was it because I'm an alpha who doesn't shed tears? No. Was it because I hated the person in the grave? No. It was my mother. Yeah, today my mom died. Oh, she was the best. She only beat me twice a..."week." Yeah, not daily. And we "never" put out cheap cigarette butts on my face, tongue, and... well, you know the rest.
I sighed again...
"Well, it's not like my day can get any worse," I said sarcastically.
...Guess what? I have diabetes, high blood pressure, and I've also been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. What else could go wrong...? Oh.
I sighed and looked at the sky, remembering my mother's words:
"Hey, you ####, massage harder or I'll get the whip and lash you again!"
...
Not those words. I meant... I meant... what was I saying again? Anyway... I looked at the sky, because when everything is closed in your face, you should look up... and ignore that one cloud flipping you off with a middle finger, the one that says: "You will die alone, Jeff." Yeah, my dad named me Jeff. Why Jeff? I don't know. He just said "Grintia Abria" when he saw me, with a shocked expression on his face. He must've been really happy.
...
As I was lost in thought, I saw a light—it was beautiful.
"Who would've thought that admiring the sky while standing on train tracks would be thi– Wait a sec..."
Yeah, I died. But apparently, I reincarnated into the body of a character who wasn't even mentioned in the famous story: Devil World. I'll become the strongest! Yeah, I just made that up.
"Ah… where am I?"
I looked around and was shocked to find myself in a trash can. Huh. Not the best place to start my new life.
Oddly, I felt calm. As if I'd wanted this to happen all along. But why? I always enjoyed my life. I thought, confused. Then tears welled up in my eyes for no reason, and I started crying uncontrollably. As I adjusted to my new body, sniff sniff... I smelled something disgusting.
"Ughhh..." I felt like throwing up.
"Man... this place stinks."
I said as I tried to get up from the trash can.
Because I wasn't used to this body yet...
"Ahhhh..." Okay, let's say I collapsed painfully. I was also starving, which didn't help. The weakness and hunger were so intense I couldn't move.
Pathetically, I tried to find food, but nothing. Then my survival instincts kicked in, and I yelled:
"Status Window!"
At least I have to experience this moment before I die of hunger. I always wanted a status window with a cool system.
[Name: Jeeg (Yeah, Jeeg, not Jeff)
Age: Does it matter? You're about to die.
Strength: -F (You can't even beat a 2-year-old. Even the kid has at least F.)
Intelligence: C (Enough to take a math test... You'll still fail.)
Fitness: D (Wow, some fitness. An orc might enjoy splitting your weak body in two.)
Health: F (The simplest disease could kill you.)
Magic (Beauty): FFF (By the heavens… You're uglier than the ugliest demons. Even I wouldn't dare look at you.)
Aura: -47 (To be honest, negative aura doesn't exist. It stops at zero. What even are you???)
As I stared at my not-so-"bad" stats, I smiled and decided to die in peace. So I waited... and waited... and... well, the sun set, and I was still alive—still starving and in pain.
"At this rate, I might kill myself from the pain," I muttered irritably.
But then I remembered—I can't die like this. I still have to do the most important thing in any isekai story: I must get a harem at all costs.
I lifted myself off the ground, enduring the pain. I finally balanced—after falling and getting back up several times.
"Now, where should I go?"
I checked my pocket, wondering.
Then I felt something. It felt like a card. Could it be... an ID? Or even... a magic academy admission card?! My path to fame, glory, and more importantly... a harem?
...
Nope. It was a debt card worth 7 copper coins. (Man, I'm poor.)
Then I started walking—maybe I'd learn more about this new world.
While wandering the city looking for food to quiet my stomach, I came across... a girl, about my height, carrying a sword. More importantly, she looked sad. This could be my chance to start my harem!
I approached and smiled, imagining our children.
"Are you okay?" I asked, with "good" intentions.
And then... I saw the blood freeze in her veins. She drew her sword and sliced off my head, screaming:
"DEMON!!"
Yep. That's how my story ended.