Fuck.
What the fuck did I just do?
How could I?
How dare I?
I never cry. Not when they took away my name, my title, my rightful position. Not when they deleted my life from the family documents, like I had never even fucking lived. Not when I was compelled to leave all I had ever known with nothing but the clothes on my back.
Not even when my mother—
I ground my jaw, breathing in through my nose, attempting to close off the torrent of thoughts before they pulled me under.
So why the fuck did I cry now?
Was it because Dorian stole what was rightfully mine? Because he glared, shining in the applause, while I hid in the background? Did he do this on purpose? Bring me here just to observe? Just to remind me of that which could have been—what rightfully should have been?
Or was it because someone—one for the first time in years—actually saw me with something other than indifference?
Because someone pulled me close and wrapped their arms around me rather than shoving me away?
Because someone looked at me—actually looked at me—and rather than looking away, they remained?
Or. maybe because of Logan?
God damn it.
I clamped my eyes closed and exhaled sharply, attempting to shake the falling sensation in the pit of my stomach.
Logan.
Why him?
Why did he do this to me? Make me feel like my well-built walls weren't as strong as I believed. Like my control wasn't as impenetrable as I wanted it to be.
Like I wasn't strong enough.
The worst thing? He never asked me questions. He just. wrapped me in his jacket, let me cry, and didn't pressure.
I do not fuck cry.
And yet, I did.
I raked a hand over my face, digging fingers into my temple, attempting to ground myself.
I wasn't weak.
I wasn't.
Then why the fuck did my chest hurt so badly?
It's been two weeks.
Two fucking weeks since I've set foot in the office. Since I've seen anybody.
Not even Cale.
He's been calling me constantly, as if we had this huge dramatic breakup. Every few hours, another call, another text. "Answer, you jerk." "You can't avoid me forever." "Are you dead? At least let me know so I can stage your funeral."
Dramatic little bastard.
But I haven't answered.
Because I don't have the fucking guts to deal with them.
Especially not Logan.
The mere idea of laying eyes on him again, of meeting his gaze after. that night—after I snapped—makes my gut curl up.
I can't.
I don't know why it matters so much, anyway. It shouldn't. But every time I shut my eyes, I think about the feel of his arms around me. The feel of his jacket wrapping around me to protect me from everything. The way he just let me be weak and didn't say a damn thing about it.
I hate it.
I hate that he saw that side of me.
I hate that it felt. safe.
I despise the fact that, somewhere deep inside me, there exists a really messed-up piece of myself that craves the sensation again.
The bell rings.
I do not need to look. I already know who's behind it.
Cale.
That moron never misses a chance to burst into my penthouse, especially if he knows I've been trying to avoid him. He's either wasting his breath or practicing for a role. Either way, it's got to be bad.
I sigh already steeling myself against the crap he's going to come out with and push the door open.
Cale doesn't even bother waiting to be asked in. Naturally. He comes in like he owns the joint, eyes raking me up and down before he folds his arms.
"You look like shit."
And there it is.
I roll my eyes, standing aside to allow him fully in—not that he'd been holding out for my invite.
"Nice to see you too, Cale," I grumble, closing the door behind him.
Cale turns to me, his face a mix of concern and irritation. "Oh, don't do that. You've been locked up in here for two fucking weeks, Kael. Two. Weeks. Do you even know what sunlight does to your skin?"
I massage my temples, already sensing a headache brewing. "I'm fine."
"You're a horrible liar," Cale says dryly, striding into my kitchen as if he's ripped up the lease for this apartment. He yanks open my fridge, frowns at its near-bare interior, and spins back around to me. "Are you even eating, or have you just been living off coffee and spite?"
I make a point of ignoring him, tramping over to my couch and plopping down on it with a sigh. "Why did you come here?"
Cale laughs. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because my best friend vanished off the face of the fucking earth after that goddamn party? Maybe because he won't return my calls or texts? Maybe because I—oh, I don't know—actually care about you?"
I glower at the ceiling. "I'm alive. There, mystery solved. You can go now."
Cale strides over and slaps a pillow in my face. "Try again, asshole."
I grab the pillow from him and glare. "Cale."
"Kael." His voice is mocking. He flops down next to me, examining my face. "Is this about Dorian?"
The mention of the name makes my jaw lock up. Cale catches it. Of course he does.
"Kael," his voice reassures slightly, "you don't have to say anything. But you do need to get up and pretend to be yourself again. You're letting them win with this."
I gasp hard, raking my hand through my hair. "I just. needed time."
"Well, you had two weeks. Time's up." Cale smirks, reclining. "Now, get your ass up, because I'm dragging you out whether you like it or not."
"Alright, what do you need? What's the progress on the work?" I asked.
Cale rolls his eyes and scoffs. "To business, eh? No 'Hey Cale, I've missed you,' or 'Wow, Cale, you're looking beautiful today'?"
I shoot him a glare.
He flops down on my couch with a dramatic sigh and lies back like he's out of energy. "Fine, fine. Work's good, no fires to fight—yet. But Logan's been spending a lot more time around Evren than usual."
I fold my arms. "And?"
Cale shoots me a knowing glance. "And? Oh, I don't know. Perhaps because someone vanished for two fucking weeks without even a hello? He advances on me. "Perhaps because he's inquired about you every goddamn day, his face set like he's going to kill someone?"
I breathe out of my nose, trying not to notice how my chest clenches up at that. "He'll get over it."
Cale snorts. "Yeah? Keep telling yourself that." Then his expression shifts, turning serious. "Kael, what the hell happened that night?"
I look away, pretending to be unbothered. "Nothing."
Cale raises an eyebrow. "Bullshit."
I exhale sharply, running a hand through my hair. "Dorian was there. That's all."
Cale's expression darkens. "And?"
My jaw hurts from how tightly I'm gritting it. My nails are digging into my hands, enough to leave bruises. "And nothing. He only wanted me to see it for myself. That Vaelora is finished with me." I try a dry laugh, but it's bitter-tasting. "Not that it wasn't already plain."
Cale looks at me for a moment, his normal teasing gone. "That's why you spent two weeks locked in here?"
I don't respond.
He exhales, shaking his head. "Kael, you don't have to pretend like it didn't hurt."
I give him a glare. "I'm not pretending like anything."
Cale provides me with the most disapproving stare I've ever witnessed. "You ghosted your own company for two weeks, didn't return my calls, and—" He points at me. "You look like you haven't slept since that night."
I don't respond.
Cale reclines back, crossing his legs. "And Logan?"
My shoulders tighten. "What about him?"
Cale's smile plays at the corner of his mouth. "Oh, so now you're acting like he doesn't exist?"
I roll my eyes. "He'll get over it."
Cale simply laughs. "You really don't get it, do you?"
I roll my eyes, shaking my head. "He'll get tired eventually."
Cale simply smirks, cocking his head. "You really don't get it, do you?"
I glower at him. "Get what?"
He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Logan isn't just waiting for you, Kael. He's in Evren full-time now. Always there. Always watching. Like a fucking guard dog."
I hesitate for a moment before laughing awkwardly. "That's his issue, not mine."
Cale lets out a sigh, shaking his head. "You're such an idiot."
I give him a dirty look. "Excuse me?"
He folds his arms. "Do you realize what this implies? The CEO of Titan, one of the largest companies in existence, is hovering around Evren day and night for two weeks straight. And why? Business?" He makes a face. "Bullshit. He's there because of you."
I roll my eyes, pretending not to notice the way my chest constricts. "What the fuck did it matter? It wasn't my problem. It shouldn't be. I don't care about him."
Cale looks at me, then smirks. "Oh, you care."
I stare harder. "I don't."
His smirk grows even larger. "Then why are your ears turning red?"
"They are not, asshole"
Cale erupts into laughter. "Oh, they fucking are."
I rub my temples, groaning. "Shut up, Cale."
He smiles, sitting back against the couch. "You're so fucked, Kael."
I laugh. "How so?"
Cale shrugs, but his grin is pure malevolence. "Because Logan King has his eye on you, and from what I've observed, when he desires something, he fucking takes it."
I roll my eyes. "Well, he can desire all he desires. I'm not something to be taken."
Cale's eyebrow rises. "Then why have you not entered Evren in two weeks? Why are you hiding?"
I stiffen. "I'm not hiding."
He smirks. "Sure. Continue lying to yourself."
Cale's smile drops, and for once, he does look serious.
"Okay, let's get past this crap. You need to return to Evren."
I let out a sigh, rubbing my face. "Cale—
"No. I don't want to hear it," he interrupts, his tone edgier than before. "You've been stuck in here long enough, Kael. The company requires you."
I laugh. "Evren's doing just fine without me."
Cale folds his arms, his gaze narrowing. "That's not the fucking point. You created this business. You're home there. And whether you admit it or not, people take notice when you're absent."
I grit my jaw, turning away. I know what he's doing. Pushing me. Prying me back out again before I let myself get too deep.
"And when do you figure I'm supposed to appear?" I growl.
"Tomorrow," he says decisively. "No excuses."
"Fuck."
"Yeah, exactly," Cale says, moving closer. "So get your ass out of bed, slip into a suit, and walk into Evren like you own the goddamn building. Because you do."
I take a sharp breath in, rolling my shoulders, but Cale doesn't move. His eyes are fixed on me, waiting, challenging me to complain.
"There's a meeting," he says, his voice decisive. "Big project. One that can elevate Evren to the next fucking level. And guess what?" He inclines his head. "All of the investors will be attending."
I raise a brow, uninterested. "And?"
Cale smiles smugly. "That includes Logan."
My fingers spasm, but I maintain my countenance. I will not give that son of a bitch even a hint of response.
Cale, naturally, sees through me anyway. He always does.
"You gonna ghost him for the rest of eternity?" he teases. "Because I gotta tell you, Kael, Logan King doesn't sound like the kind of guy to let things drop."
I snort, adjusting my weight. "I don't care what Logan does."
"Seriously?" Cale drawls, taking a step closer. "Then why are you white-knuckling that couch like you want to tear it in two?"
I look down at my hands. Shit. I try to make them relax.
"You're going," Cale insists. "Not only for the project, but because if you don't, Logan's going to assume you're afraid of him." He grins. "And you don't want that, do you?"
I grit my teeth. That annoying son of a bitch. He knows precisely what to say to set me off.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I grumble.
"Oh, definitely," Cale smiles. "But primarily, I just want my best friend back in his rightful place."
That strikes a chord somewhere inside, somewhere I do not want to hear.
I exhale, slow and deliberate. "What time?"
"10 AM. Don't be late."
I shoot him a level look. "I'm never late."
Cale smiles. "Good. Because Logan will be there early."
That fucker. Of course, he will.
Cale begins moving towards the door but stops short of the exit. He looks back, something inscrutable on his face. "Don't let whatever's going on in your head win, Kael. You're better than that."
Then he's gone.
Leaving me alone in the quiet, with nothing but my own goddamn thoughts. And Logan's name, still hanging around like a fucking specter.