The she-wolf finally sucked in a breath as her mind registered what her brother was yelling for her to acknowledge. Her eyes widened in shock and her ears fell flat. Her intimidating snarl fell into a slacked jaw when she really looked at the human now trapped beneath her weight.
Aster was pinned below the she-wolf's weight, trembling vainly in the overpowering grasp around his shoulders, and beneath the weight of the she-wolf straddling his legs. Stahl had a menacing snarl then, dripping spit down onto the human's face from where her jaw was parted and growling. The boy had a look of pure terror and fright as he vainly struggled to free himself from the menacing she-wolf and his own helplessness.
'Aster is really panicking. He's terrified. He is terrified of me...' Stahl released the grip on his shoulders in horrible recognition, trembling as her senses returned to her. She had almost hurt Aster... she had lost control and really tried to hurt him!
She moved off of the human and tried to think of how to even start an apology, but Aster darted out from beneath her as soon as her weight shifted. He didn't even look back at the she-wolf as he stumbled to get away from the courtyard that day. Stahl was going to call out to him, but her father's voice in her mind stopped her.
'Let him go, Stahl.' So Stahl just watched the human make his escape with a terrible feeling of guilt. She had no idea something like that was inside of her. She's never been that possessive. She's never been that aggressive in nature. She's never had the urge to dominate something so strongly.
The she-wolf shuddered at the realization, she wanted Aster... And not as a friend. As a... Mate. She wanted the human to submit his body to her... she... she was probably about to take it from him if she hadn't been stopped.
Stahl's heart felt like it would shatter from the realization along side the boosted raw emotions she had been forced to process far too quickly, but most of all, she hated that Aster would probably never be able to look at her the same way after that.
He would never consider such a monster for his lover now. What she had once believed to be pity was revealed as desire. Stahl could only hold her head in her shame as her family did their best to focus on consoling her for the time being. She could fix this later... She HAD to fix this...
Aster sat on his bed much later that night, staring out the open window at the full moon. His mind was still restless in many ways, even after he tried sleeping it off to no avail, but the moon seemed to lend to the solemnity in the air in the boy's opinion. It did sort of cause the whole situation after all.
Blaming the moon was easy, it could take whatever resentment he had and still shine just as brightly and unfazed as before. Maybe he just envied the moon then? A knock drew him back to reality, he really didn't want to talk about any of it. It was easier just tucking stuff like that away where it couldn't bother him anymore, like he always had.
He could pretend like nothing happened, so could they just leave it be and continue with life as normal? A second knock sounded as if in answer to that thought. Aster drew a breath in a feeble attempt at steadying himself before he finally called out, allowing the she-wolf to enter.
The first thing the she-wolf noticed about the human was the rarely seen occurrence of him being shirtless. He was sitting on his bed, looking like a sulking, hurt puppy who had just been kicked by his owner, an eerie semblance that made Stahl feel even worse about the whole thing somehow.
"Hey Aster." That was all the she-wolf could manage to say at the time.
"Hey Stahl." Aster just stared at the floor. He didn't known where to begin... But he figured he should start at running away. "Look... I'm sorry I freaked back there... I was just reminded of some things I didn't know were still bothering me. I was trying to help you through what you were dealing with... But I just..." Stahl cut him off sharply.
"DON'T! Don't apologize to me Aster... I should be apologizing to you. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't lose yourself like I did... Please don't apologize to me, I don't deserve it... Please, let me try to fix this..." Aster was lost. So the she-wolf wasn't upset with him for freaking out? She felt she owed him an apology?
"Wh- why are you apologizing?" Stahl just looked stricken. What was he apologizing for? How could the boy be so blind! Did he forget about what just happened back there?
"Aster... I tried to hurt you. I let myself get carried away, and I took it all out on you. I scared you... I made you look at me how you did." Aster only replied in a whisper.
"You didn't scare me, Stahl." The she-wolf laughed.
"Look, it's ok to be scared of me when I was like that... You don't have to lie for my sake or my feeli-" the she-wolf was cut short this time as Aster's voice rose.
"I don't lie to you Stahl... Not since The Selection. The first thing I ever told you was a lie, you know? That really has been bothering me. I know it was because I was trying to protect my cover, but it was still a lie. You even caught me in it later, and still kept talking to me, even giving me advice for my next match right after... And then I was revealed. And you still came to sit beside the lying human anyways while everyone else jeered... I don't ever want to lie to you again, Stahl... So please believe me when I say I wasn't scared of you..."
The human could only stare at the floor in somber silence now. Stahl felt derailed entirely. He wasn't scared of her? Then...
"So if I didn't scare you back there, what did?" Aster flinched at the impending question. He knew he'd have to tell the she-wolf, or else she would just keep blaming herself.
"When you had me pinned down like that... When your eyes had that viciousness... My mind could only see and feel Straga again... I was back in the arena, and the dragon was coming back to finish what he started... Just like he promised he would... Just like I've seen in my nightmares ever since then..."
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