The years that followed after my parents abandonment didn't leave me with an abrupt dramatic healing, but rather it was a slow and quiet one. My grandmother became my anchor, she was the definition of peace. She never forced me to talk, never pressured me to love her. Instead, she waited for me to take the first step.
Soon it was my Senior High School graduation. The morning air was crispr, carrying the scent of blooming jasmine, a cruel irony given my name. The name I abandoned, my name was changed a year earlier, to the name, Erica. Which means 'ever powerful'. A name my grandmother and father picked for me when I turned 18.
I, Erica, stood beaming on the graduation stage. After years of culminating restless hard work and dedication. I finally had it within my grasp. My diploma. It was more than a mere piece of paper but rather it was a testament to my resilience, a hard-won trophy.
As I stood there proud and happy, the moment I went down the atage, the joy left as soon as my father got a call from the hospital. It was grandmother, she passed away on the way to the hospital. Me and ther arrived at the hospital, as soon as I saw her last reminance, I cried and cried. Even on the way home, I cried for days.
Soon it was time for her funerial. I stood there, empty. As if my very sould left my body. My father whispered. "Don't worry you still have me."
There in front of the many relatives, I cried at the shoulders of my father.
Days passed since that day. I feel somewhat alive, yet still empty. To fill that cold and empty void. I dived deep into my college years.
My college years began as a blur, a whirlwind of late-night study sessions field with endless cups of coffee. I strove for success, in order to survive in this cruel world. I outowrked and outperformed everyone around me. Sleep in itself was a luxury I rarely indulged in, social gatherings was a distraction I couldn't afford. But amidst that busy schedule, I always tried to make time for my father. Father has less time to live, as he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He no longer remembers me from time to time, but that's fine. I gained a new step-mother, she was nice to me, better than that woman.
Aside from the new addition to the family, I found love, his name was Mark. He was everything I thought I wanted. He was charming, intelligent, and devoted. Yet, to think that when I let down my guard, he would break my heart into pieces I never knew would exist. He and that girl, Grace, got together on the very day he broke up with me. Turned out, they were secretly dating behind my back for two years.
Amidst my sorrows and my pain, I at the whirl wind of emotions, had a one night stand. A one night stand with my best friend, Jose. He was my best friend for years, but I never thought that we would end up like this. As morning arose, I woke up to see him lying beside me, hugging me tightly, without a single once of clothing covering our bodies aside from the blanket. I panickly tried to get out, but that woke him up and he cuddled me even tighter.
"I'm sorry you had to go through with this..." I said in a aggrieved tone.
"Don't worry, I'll take responsibility." replied Jose, "Now go back to sleep"
There we lie in bed for hours on end, till it was time for us to go to our daily scheduled classes. Life continued from there on. A month has passed and I started to feel more tired, groggy, and nauseous. I thought it was nothing at first, but as time went on, I couldn't ignore this part of me. So I went to the doctor and had my health condition analyzed. A few hours after the check up the results were in.
"Congratulations" said the doctor in a calm but happy tone. "You are pregnant. The fetus is already a month old."
There I sat still unable to comprehend what I have just heard. I went back to Jose's apartment and texted him to come back as soon as possible. Soon after Jose's classes ended he arrived to see me sleeping on the bed.
"I'm back my love", he said in a soothing and melodious voice. He then paused as he looked at me, then he asked "Is something the matter?"
"Hmmm... Welcome back...", I said groggily.
"The message you sent earlier looked quite urgent. Sorry if I have just arrived just now. You know how my academics matter to me.", he said while hugging me.
"I know" I replied back to him. I then turned towards him and said, "Jose, I'm pregnant."
Jose froze, thinking on how to digest this sudden declaration. Then he came back to his senses, "How long has it been?"
"Hmmm.... The doctor said it has been a little over a month", I replied while hugging Jose even tighter. I then said "I'm scared, of what the future holds".
"Well, whatever the future holds, I'll always be there for you." replied Jose.
We cuddled after that, as we fall into slumber.
Months passed in a blink of an eye, till it was time for me to give birth to our precious daughter, Epiphany. Just like Jose promised, he was there with me throughout the entire journey. From my nauseous episodes, to my chaotic nature, to my insecurities, and to my labor.
In the operating room, Erica, was doing her best to push the baby out. While outside is Jose, inmidst a nervous dilemma, he couldn't stop going back and forth, pacing none stop. My step mother was also there, with my dad.
"Calm your horses and sit back down, she'll be fine! For the love of God!", my stepmother said to Jose, with a annoyed expression.
"But... what if she isn't fine? I need to be there." replied Jose in a shaking voice.
"As I said she will be–", as stepmother was about to say to Jose, a roars of cries came out from the operation room.
"Wah! Wah! Wah!", the cries of a baby was heard.
A doctor came out and said, "The baby and the mother are both fine and is in good condition".
"Thank goodness", replied Jose as he lost his balance and knelt on the floor, crying a puddle of tears.
"See what did I tell ye!" replied the proud step mother.
Soon after the baby was born, due to behind studies me and Jose needed to go back ot the University to continue our studies. The baby was entrusted to my stepmother, and occasionally I would visit them and spend time with my newly born daughter and my father. Father's health has been worsening lately, and I can't help but worry.
Two years passed, and I finally graduated with Jose by my side. With my meager savings, I built my own company. Through my blood and sweat I rose my company to be one of the best in the country. Though at that time, I thought everything was perfect. A perfect partner, a baby, and my family still here. That was until I got the news that my father only had one month left to live.
Within that one month, to celebrate with my father, we held our wedding before his passing. It was heartbreaking and also filled with happiness. But there was nothing we could do... He no longer had much time left. So after the wedding, we spent time with him more and more. Until the day he passed, he left with a smile on his face.
My step mother was still supportive towards me, despite losing the one she loved, she held a strong demeanor. It usually was her who took great lengths to raise my daughter, as I was building my empire.
Years passed once again, Epiphany is now 18 years old. Within that 16 years, Jose passed away. I was bedridden after that fact, as it broke my heart to see him die. I left the company into the hands of Epipthany, and lived my life how I wanted it, while holding onto the memories of Jose. Jose... he died from a car accident, that was planned by the rival company. Now all I have is regret. So I hope in the next life, I will live my life with someone by my side, and live a life full of bliss.
The dream slowed down, and slowly turned into white palette, there I heard a voice, a voice saying, "Will you find me?". And then, I woke up from the dream. Tears streamed down my face, as it is a silent testament to my vivid journey.
"Starting from this day on, I will live the life you wanted", I said to myself as I promised to live a life full of bliss.