Chapter 31: "Dial-A-Devil and the Magic Jumpstart"
In which I call my boss-lady school president, ask for magic juice, and forget to ask how much it's going to hurt.
Okay, real talk?
Dream World Naruto is a total badass.
In the dream world, I can do Rasengans, summon clones, punch through mountains, and maybe—just maybe—look cool while doing it. It's like playing a video game on god-mode but with real consequences and slightly less screaming than usual.
But then I wake up…
And I'm just Issei.
Still me—Naruto Uzumaki—but trapped in Issei's body like some kind of shinobi cosplay accident. And to be clear, it's a pretty decent body (I mean, guy's got nice reflexes and stamina, not bad), but there's no chakra here. No jutsu. Just weird high school energy.
Still, there's hope.
Two things stand between me and my comeback as Ninja Supreme:
Ki and Spiritual Power.
And yeah, I technically need both to recreate chakra. Which is a little like saying, "I need fire and air to make an explosion." Simple… but also potentially world-ending.
Now, Spiritual Power? That one I've got. My soul's already cracked the human limit, which I'm told is rare and impressive and totally what you'd expect from a future Hokage.
Ki, though? Not there yet.
Turns out, you need to "surpass the human body's limit" to unlock Ki, which sounds like something Guy-sensei would scream while doing upside-down pushups on a cliff.
"Youthful spirit, Naruto-kun! Transcend mortality through burpees!"
Yeah. Not there yet.
Anyway, I was thinking about all this while eating breakfast—which, by the way, was incredible. I'm not sure what Issei's mom puts in her miso soup, but I'm pretty sure it has actual love in it. Like, I could feel it healing emotional damage I didn't know I had.
She sat across from me with this proud look in her eyes. Like I was doing her son proud just by existing. Probably because I've been crushing Issei's morning routine, acing all the school prep, and haven't once screamed "believe it" at the dinner table.
"Issei," she said warmly, "you've changed a lot lately. More mature. Focused. Even… kind of graceful."
I tried to act cool, sipping my soup like a composed shinobi warrior, but inside I was like:
She thinks I'm graceful! Dattebayo! That's the best compliment I've gotten in a month!
After breakfast, I cleaned the dishes—because that's what Issei would never do, and I like flexing my "model son" muscles—then sat on the couch, plotting.
If I wanted to unlock my soul powers, I'd need someone with magic juice to give me a little jolt. Like, jumpstart-my-engine kind of magic. Unfortunately, this modern world didn't exactly have chakra vending machines on every corner.
I had two leads:
Sona Sitri – Student Council President. Secret devil. Elegant, smart, kinda intimidating. Pretty sure she's into contracts and chess metaphors.
Kuroko – A talking demon cat who literally just showed up in an alley and offered to teach me magic, like a feline Gandalf with sass.
Decisions, decisions.
Do I go the official, devil-approved route with Sona, maybe owe her a favor and have to wear a uniform that looks like I'm joining the Magical Debate Club?
Or do I go full rogue ninja and take lessons from a creature who once stole a fish from a sushi restaurant and called it "cultural tax"?
Either way, I'm gonna need to power up.
Because once I have magic, and Ki, and soul energy on lock—
Boom.
Chakra returns.
The Will of Fire burns again, baby.
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After finishing the dishes and doing my morning sit-ups in Issei's body (you know, standard ninja things), I went out into the backyard to look for Kuroko.
Nothing.
No furball.
No sassy voice telling me I'm late for "soul enhancement training."
No cat hovering in midair, talking about ancient contracts and magical bloodlines.
Just birds. And a very suspicious neighbor who thinks I talk to animals.
"Kuroko," I whispered. "Come on out. I need the magic stuff!"
Nada.
I even tried the ol' "wave a can of tuna" trick, but apparently demon cats are above that. Or allergic. Or just, you know, evil.
So, Plan B.
I pulled out the phone.
Now, using a phone is still weird for me. It's like holding a tiny mission scroll that glows and plays music. But I've gotten used to it. Issei's phone was already filled with school contacts, game apps, and more selfies than I thought one face could justify.
I scrolled through until I saw the name:
Sona Sitri
Cue dramatic thunder.
She was smart, powerful, and totally not into nonsense. A devil noble. Also, kind of terrifying in the way smart girls who have their life figured out at sixteen are terrifying.
Still, I had an agreement with her. I help out when needed. She teaches me how to become a magical menace. Win-win.
I hit call.
Ring. Ring.
She picked up on the third one. "Yes, Naruto?"
"Hey, Prez. Hope you're not in the middle of a ritual or a world domination plot or something…"
A pause.
"…I'm free for now. What's wrong? Couldn't figure out the book?"
I laughed nervously, rubbing the back of Issei's head. "Oh no, the book's fine! Totally fine! It's just, uh... I'm gonna need you to blast me with magic real quick."
"…Excuse me?"
"I need a magic pulse in my body to jumpstart my spiritual energy. Like chakra defibrillators! Just zap me real good and—boom—powers unlocked."
Another pause. I could almost hear her raising an eyebrow.
"You do realize that injecting foreign magical energy into a non-magic user can be extremely painful, right?"
"Oh, totally. But I've been set on fire, electrocuted, and punched through a mountain by a talking bear once. I'm good with pain."
She sighed. "Fine. I'll come over. But don't scream too loud. Your neighbors might call the police."
Twenty minutes later, she was at my door. Looking calm, professional, and probably judging me for wearing pajama pants and holding a towel like I was going to a sauna.
She stepped inside, gave a polite nod to Issei's mom (who waved her off like she was just one of Issei's quiet girlfriends—thanks for the vote of confidence, Mrs. Hyoudou), and walked with me to the living room.
"Sit down," she said. "Try to relax. This will sting."
I sat. Cross-legged. Deep breaths.
"You're ready?" she asked, holding up one glowing hand.
"Hit me with your best shot, devil girl."
She didn't even smirk.
And then—
ZAP.
Magic surged through my body like I had swallowed a thunderstorm.
My spine straightened. My skin buzzed. I think I saw a fish slap me in another dimension.
I screamed. Not like a wimp-scream. More like a "This is definitely melting my organs" scream. It echoed through the walls and probably made a dog cry somewhere.
After about thirty seconds of what felt like being dragged through a magical cheese grater, it stopped.
I collapsed backward, panting, eyes wide. My vision was sparking, my heart was doing the Macarena, and everything hurt.
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Okay, so picture this: You've just been zapped with enough demonic energy to jumpstart a small planet. Your veins feel like they've been infused with carbonated lightning, your brain is playing anime theme songs backward, and your body is glowing like you swallowed a rave stick.
Welcome to my morning.
Sona stood calmly across from me, her hand no longer glowing, clipboard in one hand and a polite devil's smile on her face. I, meanwhile, was gripping the couch armrest like it owed me money.
"You should be feeling something," she said matter-of-factly. "Some discomfort is normal."
Discomfort? Try soul-tingling spiritual awareness mixed with the itch you get when a mosquito bites your existence.
But... she wasn't wrong.
Because beneath all the chaos in my body—like a second heartbeat humming low and strong—I felt it.
Spiritual energy.
Not chakra. This wasn't the same life-and-spirit fusion I was used to from back home. This wasn't the wild storm of fox chakra either. It was calmer, subtler… but sharp. It was like stepping into a quiet lake and realizing there was an ocean underneath.
And it was mine.
I flexed my fingers. Just like with chakra, I could feel it flowing through me now, coiling inside my soul. The energy wasn't as dense or explosive as chakra, but that didn't matter—what mattered was that I had enough to rival a Kage even before training with it. A whole spiritual power system just unlocked like a new DLC pack. Jackpot.
Naturally, I did what any ninja with zero impulse control would do.
I tried to make a Shadow Clone.
Yeah… that was dumb.
As soon as I tried to mold the energy like chakra, the whole thing fizzled out in a puff of cold sparkles. I got a faint boop sound like a video game denying an invalid combo.
Right. Not chakra. Different rules.
"Are you okay?" Sona asked, tilting her head. "You're… twitching."
"Fine!" I said a little too quickly. "Just... uh, metabolizing the energy. Really feeling the magic! You know?"
She blinked. "You're surprisingly sensitive to magical signatures for a new user."
I froze. Oops. Right. She thought I was Issei Hyoudou. Regular freshman. Supposedly new to magic, combat, and not a ninja with a giant fox in his soul.
"Guess I'm gifted!" I said, throwing her my most awkward smile. "Heh."
She didn't look convinced.
"Hmm. Well, that reaction does suggest you have potential. With enough training, you might be able to cast beginner-level spells by the end of the semester."
"Sweet," I muttered. "Spells are good."
"Don't get ahead of yourself," she added coolly. "Power isn't everything. Understanding theory, equations, glyph flow, and magical grammar is equally important. Otherwise, you'll just explode."
"...Wait. Explode?"
"Metaphorically. Usually."
Awesome.
As she packed up her things, I sat back and let myself sink into the new sensation of spiritual energy humming in my core. It would take time to shape it into something useful. It wasn't chakra, so no shadow clones yet. But I could start feeling magic. I could sense how it moved, how it resisted. Like chakra with a different accent.
Magic wasn't something you forced. It was something you coaxed.
And now that I had the energy, I could finally learn the language.
As Sona left, she paused at the door and glanced back at me.
"Oh, and Issei…"
I tensed.
"Don't push yourself. You don't have to prove anything."
Her tone was… gentle. Like she thought I was some over-eager underdog who wanted to impress her.
I gave her a thumbs up. "Got it, President."
She left.
I exhaled hard.
It was time to get to work.
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You ever wake up with spiritual energy humming in your veins, stretch your arms, and think: Yeah. Today's a good day to accidentally launch myself through a wall?
No? Just me?
Right, forgot—I'm not normal anymore. I've got no chakra, no fox in my belly, and technically I'm in another guy's body… but I've got something new now.
Spiritual energy.
And oh boy, this stuff is weirdly cooperative.
So I did what any self-respecting ex-ninja would do: ran outside behind the house, found a quiet clearing with decent space to explode if necessary, and got to testing.
First up: body enhancement.
Back home, chakra-enhanced strength let me punch through mountains and leap like a gazelle on caffeine. I wasn't expecting that level of awesome—but I wanted to see if spirit juice could pull its weight.
I gathered the energy, focused on my arms and legs, and willed the power inward. It responded—surprisingly smoothly—and my limbs buzzed like they were powered by ghost lightning.
Then I jumped.
I didn't fly, exactly. But I did vault a tree. A whole tree.
"Ha! That's what I'm talking about!"
I grinned. Okay, it wasn't chakra-level brute force, but it pushed me into superhuman territory. Just enough to start pushing my body beyond its human limits. If I kept doing this regularly, my body would adapt. Break the human cap, unlock Ki, and boom—back on the chakra train.
Only this time, I'd built it from scratch.
Eat that, fox. I did something without you.
Next up: energy manipulation.
I'd been dying to know if I could make a Rasengan using this stuff. No distractions. No fox chakra in the background going "REEEEE" and throwing my balance off. Just me and my ghost-juice.
So I channeled the energy into my palm, spun it like I used to, controlled the rotation and compression...
And...
BOOM. There it was.
A bright blue-white Rasengan, smaller and more compact than usual, but stable.
I grinned like an idiot.
"YES! Oh my god, I can finally do it without the constant existential dread!"
It felt amazing. Spiritual energy might not be chakra, but it could be shaped. And the Rasengan was just manipulation and rotation—no fancy hand signs, no elemental nature. Pure technique. Pure control.
I punched it into a boulder for fun.
The boulder exploded.
Stone chunks rained from the sky like magical confetti.
Now, before you think I went power-crazy and tried summoning clones or hurling fireballs—don't worry, I'm not that reckless. (Well, maybe I am. But I'm learning.)
I tried doing hand seals and invoking a basic jutsu. Nothing happened. Nada. Zilch.
Turns out, spiritual energy is more like an open-ended fuel tank. You can shape it, sure, but if you want fire jutsu? You need the right energy recipe. Chakra has spiritual and physical energy balanced just right for those techniques. This stuff? It's only one half.
It's like trying to bake a cake with only flour and rage.
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Okay, I'll admit it: getting chakra back was gonna take time. My body had to level up like some kind of meat-based video game character, unlocking Ki first, then combining it with my spiritual energy to make chakra. Slow grind, zero cheat codes.
Which meant I had two choices:
A) Mope around, complain about not being a ninja anymore, eat Issei's snacks, and sulk.
B) Do something totally new and become a magic-wielding battle wizard ninja guy.
Guess which one I picked?
Now that I had spiritual energy flowing like budget chakra, I could finally start working on magic.
Sona had graciously handed me a book titled "Magic for Dummies"—and I do mean graciously, because she'd looked at me like I might eat it instead of read it. Not gonna lie, that was a fair assumption.
Anyway, the first few pages were pretty basic:
Understand the concept.
Read the spell properly.
Draw the spell diagram.
Pour magic energy into it without catching on fire.
Easy, right?
Well, for normal people? Maybe. For someone who used to yell "KAGE BUNSHIN" and poof out thirty clones without thinking? It was like learning math… in another language… while juggling.
I started simple.
The first spell in the book was an illusion technique. Basically, magic-style Genjutsu. Sona probably gave it to me because she thought it'd take me a week to get past step one.
Heh. Amateur move, Sitri.
I lived in Genjutsu back in the day. Not to brag, but I've been trapped in Itachi's Tsukuyomi, stabbed a thousand times, and still came out swinging. I knew illusions.
So when the book explained that the spell worked by bending light and sound using magic energy, I was already halfway there. The only tricky part was the spell circle. You had to draw it—like, physically—then push energy into it in a certain pattern.
It took three tries.
Okay, fine. Five. I accidentally turned my own voice into an echo chamber and tripped over an invisible chair at one point.
But on the sixth try, I did it.
There, standing across from me in the backyard, was a perfect illusion of myself. Not a real clone—not yet—but it looked like me. Moved like me. Smirked like me.
And for the first time in this new world, I felt awesome.
You don't understand—back home, this kind of thing would've been impossible. My chakra reserves were so massive they overloaded the precision spells. Even simple Genjutsu took ridiculous effort to control. It was like trying to do surgery with a waterfall.
But here? With magic? I could finally control things in delicate, subtle ways. No Fox chakra screaming in the background. Just me, my spiritual energy, and a fancy spark circle.
I made my illusion bow to an imaginary crowd, then fade into glittery nothing.
"Ha. Beat that, Sasuke," I muttered, grinning like an idiot.
So yeah. No chakra? No problem.
Magic might be slower, more methodical, and require actual studying (ugh), but it worked. I was learning something new. Something powerful. Something mine.
And the best part?
For once, I wasn't just catching up to where I'd been before.
I was becoming something more.