"Are you planning on breaking every single item in this house before you have a chance to use them?" Wen Qing asked in exasperation.
Wei Ying looked sheepishly down at the table that he and Wen Ning had been transporting into the dining area. It had crashed so spectacularly to the ground when Wei Ying's fingers slipped that one leg had fully detached and rolled halfway across the room before Wen Qing had shouted at them.
In response, Wen Ning groaned sadly and then covered his heated red face with the palms of his hands, in a similar way to a-Yuan's most recent habit. Clearly the two were learning from each other. The thick bands of the spiritual bracelets on each of Wen Ning's wrists caught a glint of sunlight and nearly blinded Wei Ying temporarily. Which led to Wei Ying groaning and swearing under his breath.
"I didn't drop it on purpose! I don't even know what happened!" Wei Ying wailed, almost as loudly as a-Yuan on a bad day, so clearly, he was no better.
Wen Qing gave him an unimpressed look. "Don't know what happened. You didn't like it. That's what happened. So far you've managed to damage the painting that the Meishan pack gifted to you, you cracked the hand-painted set of vases from the Tingshan pack, and dropped the table from the Pingyang pack. I don't even want to know what you did to the Yingchuan pack's bed. I've never seen a bed in actual splintered pieces before. Did you explode it?"
"Maybe they shouldn't have given me a bed then," Wei Ying said, with a wicked grin.
Wen Qing shook her head in disbelief and swore under her breath.
Wen Ning dropped his hands to glare at his sister. When she didn't even notice, he walked over to her and held out his arms. A-Yuan was cradled against her side and she happily handed him over to her brother. Wen Ning looked the child over as if he expected to see physical damage.
"Don't swear in front of him," he chided in his firm, quiet voice. "In between 'up' and 'wolf', his next word is either going to be 'shit' or 'fuck'."
"Bàba!" A-Yuan squealed happily instead.
And the three grownups in the room immediately burst into laughter.
Wei Ying reached over to pluck a-Yuan out of Wen Ning's arms. Once a-Yuan was curled against his side, he pressed little kisses against one small cheek and blew air against a-Yuan's neck until the child was giggling and laughing with his entire body.
"Who needs gifts from crazy, obsessive, power hungry packs anyway? I already have my little radish to make me smile," Wei Ying said.
Wen Qing sighed. "Will you turn away the gift from the Yunmeng pack too? What about the painting of Cloud Recesses that the Gusu pack sent? Do you plan on burning a hole through that one?"
"I don't need gifts. I didn't do anything to deserve their thanks. I interfered with the hierarchy of another pack and killed an Alpha, not because I wanted his pack but because I could. Any other lone wolf would have been punished," Wei Ying responded.
"So you didn't belong to his pack, and you did what you needed to do to defend yourself against a ruthless Alpha and his Zetas. That doesn't make you a bad person." Wen Qing brushed at the tufts of hair near Wei Ying's forehead. "Sometimes you have to act young and foolish to test boundaries and do impossible things."
Wei Ying shivered at her words; at the reminder of something else that someone else had said to him once. That person was also dead. Also killed for a title that only meant more because an asena had been born.
Wei Ying nuzzled against a-Yuan's cheek to hide his face. His little boy patted his ear comfortingly, and Wei Ying kissed him again for the kindness.
"I adore you, my little radish," he whispered.
"See?" Wen Qing said after a few seconds. "Not many people would adopt an enemy's kid, and try to build a home for him out of the ruins of a war."
"I caused the war. I caused the deaths. All of Nightless City is in chaos right now. Most of the shifters there never wanted to be Blood Wolves and now they're leaving to build their own packs. I destroyed your family as deliberately and methodically as I could, all to punish one man," Wei Ying pointed out.
"Yes, but Wei-gonzi, that one man was such a dick though," Wen Ning protested.
In the span of the conversation the teenager had drifted over to the table and somehow figured out how to miraculously fix its detached leg. He ducked his head shyly when both Wei Ying and Wen Qing looked over at him and simultaneously smiled.
"Zhuliu said that whenever I hear you being sad about the plan to kill Wen Ruohan I should remind you that he and I have nearly mutilated wolf forms, and that a-Yuan could have been next," Wen Ning continued.
Wen Qing made a disgusted face at that and said, "Didi, next time you go hunting with Zhuliu tell him that I want to speak to him. Manipulation is not sexy. Wuxian will not make him the Alpha of Qishan if he continues to be èr bǎi wǔ."
Wei Ying laughed. "I already asked him! He said he definitely is not interested, probably because you keep pointing out that you think he's not sexy enough to lead a pack." Wei Ying turned his huge smile in Wen Qing's direction as a-Yuan snuggled tiredly against his shoulder. "Do you want to be the Luna of Qishan? I think you'd be great."
"I think I'd hate to be Luna, actually," Wen Qing said pointedly. "I can't even get you to move into your new house without you purposely breaking everything. I had a hard enough time being the Theta of the pack. I don't even want to imagine what commanding a team of warriors would be like."
Wei Ying shrugged easily and turned to his next candidate. "Qionglin, be Alpha. You'll like it. Come on. Wanyin wanted to be Alpha of Yunmeng so badly at sixteen that he kicked me out of the Storm Wolves pack, and I forgave him for it. You're seventeen now. Imagine the bragging rights you'll have. And you wouldn't even have to fight me for it."
Wen Ning was already frantically shaking his head before Wei Ying could even finish speaking.
"I don't want to lead the Blood Wolves!" he said, surprised. "What if I lose control of my wolf form again and attack everyone?"
"It's not as if there are many pack members left to attack," Wei Ying muttered with a pout. "I just said that most of them are considering their options. Especially now, when there isn't an Alpha threatening to ruin their lives and their families if they don't obey. You'd be fine. A little scare once or twice would keep them alert."
"What if I turn out to be like him, though?" Wen Ning asked seriously.
Wei Ying's expression sobered immediately. The teasing glint slid away and he pinned Wen Ning with his most intense gaze.
"Then I would come back and pay you a very serious visit. And I doubt you'd want that," he said.
Wen Ning visibly trembled.
"I definitely wouldn't want that either. I swear!" he gasped. "So I don't think I'm a good choice to be Alpha. I want to stay with my jie until I'm not so afraid of myself anymore."
Wei Ying sighed, and the serious air left his body like a cloud lifting. He jutted out his bottom lip again and looked downright miserable.
"Is it too much to ask that somebody claim this pack?" he wailed dramatically. "I'm beginning to understand Ruohan's desperation to capture me. Good help is obviously very hard to find in this family."
Wen Qing gave him a look, but Wei Ying just continued to stare miserably at her while rocking his sleeping son gently from side to side.
"Fine!" she said in frustration. Then she pointed an accusing finger at Wei Ying. "Only because I know the members of the pack better than you. But I'm not going to marry you! And, don't cry to me if there are no more Blood Wolves left in the end."
"Find me the one shifter who cries for the Qishan pack and I'd bet money that it's Wen Chao," Wei Ying scoffed.
Wen Ning ducked his head and began to pick at a splinter at the edge of the table.
"Wouldn't be him. Wen Chao is dead," he admitted with a little cough. "Zhuliu and I didn't want him to cause any trouble so we took care of him on one of our hunts."
"You what!" Wen Qing screeched. "Are you a sheep, Wen Qionglin? Is Wen Zhuliu your Alpha?"
Wen Ning frantically shook his head. "I didn't say I killed him!" he protested quickly. "He made the choice himself. He was hiding in a city of non-shifters who had no idea that he was a wolf. When we arrived, he realized he didn't have anything to return to. Zhuliu offered to take him back to speak with the Sena, because Wei-gonzi is always so kind and very understanding, but he said he would rather die."
Wen Qing stared at her brother as if she had no idea what she was supposed to say next. Wei Ying took pity on her.
"Qing-jie, just leave it," he said with a reassuring smile. "Wen Chao was a Beta of his pack but he wasn't strong enough to be an Alpha. The choice was his to either die with honor in a fight, or die alone in hiding. Respect his choice."
She looked at Wei Ying, young and holding the son she had helped him to adopt, in his arms. And, she looked at Wen Ning, her little brother who was the only member of her pack that was left for her to care about.
"A-Ning, and Zhuliu, and I will help to rehabilitate the families and help with the relocation and the dissolution of the branches in Nightless City. But after everything is settled, we're leaving!" she said decisively. "I fully intend to pack up my belongings and get as far away from Qishan as soon as I can, just like every other wolf."
Wei Ying nodded at her.
Wen Ning nodded too, but then he smiled and walked over to join the three of them.
"Jie, it's a good thing you were always a Theta. That was really bad negotiating. I'm embarrassed for you. He just played you like a dizi on a sad, cold, night. Now you won't even get to be married to the Sena, but you'll still have to be a Luna and will also do all the hard work for him," he pointed out to her.
Wei Ying shoved him on the shoulder, hard. And then he stuck out his tongue at him. Wen Ning laughed, but Wen Qing was giving them both a death stare so he had to shut up very quickly.
"I hope a-Yuan grows up to be an Iota," she said with another exasperated sigh. "I just want to see a generation of pups who aren't rushing to be warriors and trying to die in battles all the time."
Wei Ying leaned over and wrapped the arm not occupied with a sleeping toddler, around her slim waist.
"Aiya! You're so depressing," he teased. "Warriors are the best kind of shifters. Loyal, and sexy as fuck when we take our shirts off. Imagine if you couldn't see that?"
This just made Wen Ning almost choke on another bout of stifled laughter.
— — —
Yiling was a small town situated just south-east of Qishan and west of Yunmeng, which made it the perfect location for Wei Ying to feel content once he settled into his new home.
With Yunmeng so close, he could always find the food and ingredients that he had grown up loving, while it was only a few hours drive to Nightless City if he was needed to make important pack-related decisions. Not that he ever made that trip, since he had a growing list of excuses at all times whenever he was asked.
Two months after Wen Qing and Wen Ning moved into the Palace of the Sun to be more centrally located in their war relief efforts, Wei Ying decided one day that he would brave the stares of the shifters and of the non-shifters who made up the general population of Yiling, to take a-Yuan on a little trip to a nearby park.
A-Yuan was smaller than his age, and having spent most of his little life in hiding, on the run, and as part of a war, he was delighted by everyday things like going to the market or having a day out to run around and play.
"Baba, wolf!" A-Yuan squealed, excitedly pointing to an animal. "Look! Look Baba!"
Wei Ying looked.
"That's not a wolf. That's a dog," he said seriously as he took in the sight of the large, shaggy beast that was rolling around on the grass like a puppy. "No! We are not heading in that direction, my little radish. Look at the size of it! He'd gobble you up in two bites. I don't know about you kid, but I do not want to be dog meat."
He picked up his son and swung him through the air until laughter distracted them both. Then Wei Ying hurried as far away as he could from any dog that could rip them savagely into pieces.
"Baba don't like him?" A-Yuan asked as he comfortingly cupped Wei Ying's cheek with tiny hands. "No doggie?"
Wei Ying met his curious little honey brown gaze with a serious look of his own.
"Baba definitely does not like doggies." He could see the confusion forming in his little boy's eyes so he hurried to point out, "But you're not going to be a dog, a-Yuan. You'll be a wolf like Qing-furen and Ning-gege."
A-Yuan considered that. And then his expression crumbled in despair as his eyes flooded with tears.
"Don't wanna be a wolf!" He sniffled. "Wanna be… Wanna be…"
He didn't have the vocabulary for what he wanted to say, but Wei Ying understood. He gathered a-Yuan's small body into his arms and hugged him close.
"You want to be like Baba? You've never seen your Baba shift into a wolf so you don't want to be one either," he said softly.
A-Yuan just sniffled some more and buried his face in the fabric of Wei Ying's shirt.
Wei Ying took a few deep breaths as he stared out at the park full of people and their pets. Most of them were non-shifters with dogs off the leash. Every once in a while though, Wei Ying caught the scent of a shifter close by. Every instinct inside of him wanted to get away, not caring that the shifters all kept their distance from him and his child.
Ever since Nightless City, Wei Ying had not shifted into his wolf again.
Most nights when wolves were on the hunt, the most Wei Ying allowed himself was to shift his hands or his eyes. He didn't even want to risk his full were-form because that opened him up to communication.
What he wanted was to be left alone, and shifting into Wuxian was mentally painful for him now.
"Wei Wuxian," Wen Qing had said to him one night just before she and her brother left Yiling. She had returned from a night run to find him sitting in a corner of his bedroom unwilling to go back to sleep. "The Baling pack nearby has an Omicron who can meet with you whenever you want to talk about it."
"I don't need to see a pack therapist," Wei Ying responded. "I'm fine."
"You're fine, huh?" She crouched in front of him and gently moved a strand of hair off his sweat-dampened forehead. "Your nightmares are about your wolf. At least after Lanling they were about Xue Yang torturing you, and that made sense. But how does it make sense that now you're scared of your own body? How are you fine if you're terrified of your other form?"
Worse though. It was worse than she thought. Because, no one else alive knew that Wei Ying was born a wolf. He wasn't terrified of his other form. He was terrified of his true form. He was terrified of himself. Terrified of his strengths. Terrified of his powers. Terrified that one day his son would wake up and ask him questions about the war and about the Blood Wolves and about why the Sena killed their Alpha, and with him the possibility for a-Yuan to grow up as part of a pack.
And now, sitting on a park bench, rocking his crying son in his arms, he didn't know how to explain to the child that the world was going to hate him for his past, and for his association with the Sena. And that they would simultaneously attack him and use him for it.
"A-Yuan," he said gently. "Don't be scared of being a wolf. When you're a wolf, you can protect your Baba from all the scary dogs in the world. And if you're a wolf you get to play with other pups and learn to do a lot of really fun things, like hunt pheasants, and run around all night, and howl as loudly as you can. Do you understand?"
A-Yuan nodded. "But Baba is sad?"
Wei Ying kissed the top of his head and smiled at his scent of scattered ashes.
"Just a little, but not a lot," he promised. "If you'll be happy, I'll be happy too."
A-Yuan nodded again but he still seemed a little too quiet. Wei Ying reached into his pocket and pulled out a sweet. He unwrapped it from its paper and slipped it into a-Yuan's mouth. A-Yuan immediately cheered up, and his smile made Wei Ying smile.
Wei Ying knew that their conversation was probably going to be quickly forgotten by the little boy, but for him, there was a lot to prepare for.
First, he had to ensure that when a-Yuan was ready that nothing would go wrong with the shift. Then he had to find his child a suitable pack to grow up with who wouldn't treat him as a war orphan, or worse as a Blood Wolf.
And finally, Wei Ying had to get better. Somehow he had to come to terms with what had happened after Lanling, and in Nightless City, and with forcefully enduring being bitten, and unleashing the terror of his darkest instincts on the battlefield, where he had caused the most deaths and done the most damage to all the leading wolf packs.
And after all of that, Wei Ying groaned silently to himself, I'll still need to convince my mate to become the Xiandu.
🐺
Around eight months after a-Yuan's third birthday, Wei Ying and his son were sitting watching a drama series together when there came a knock on the front door.
The two of them never got visitors. The only two people who knew of their exact location were in Qishan and would have called to let Wei Ying know if they were coming to visit.
Besides, even with all the windows closed, Wei Ying caught the scent of the three shifters at the door.
He felt a growl start to build low in his chest, and he had to physically stop himself from letting it rumble past his suddenly very sharp fangs. It took every restraint he had not to give in to the instinct to immediately shift into his wolf form even after so long.
"A-Yuan, I'm going to see who's at the door," he said, forcing the change back to his fully human form so that he didn't terrify the child. "Stay here, my radish. I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Mhmm," A-Yuan hummed obediently.
Wei Ying pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head, before sliding the little boy off his lap and onto the couch.
The walk to the front door took him slightly longer than necessary as he had to keep stopping to take deep slow breaths to calm himself.
When he pulled the door open, the first shifter blocking the doorway was a familiar face.
"Hello Jin Haoran," Wei Ying said pleasantly to the Epsilon. "It's been a while. You look the same. Mind getting the fuck out of my way?"
Jin Haoran actually laughed. "No chance, Sena! Let us in first. Your neighbours are going to start getting curious."
"I don't have neighbours," Wei Ying retorted. "I attacked them all. Happens when I lose my temper. Like I'm about to do right now."
Still, Wei Ying did reluctantly back away from the door so that his three visitors could invade his house.
The first and second shifters were welcomed, but the third almost got his nose broken by the door as Wei Ying tried to slam it shut.
"A-Xian! You're not a child. Behave!" The beautiful, very pregnant, shifter who Wei Ying hadn't seen in years, chided sharply.
Wei Ying looked at her from head to toe, and a sob caught in his chest.
"Jiejie, what did you do?" he wailed at her. "Tell me you swallowed a watermelon!"
Jiang Yanli shook her head at him and began to laugh. When Wei Ying realized that she was too happy to stop laughing long enough for him to tell her just how much he had missed her, he wrapped her up into a tight hug and held on to her.
"Congratulations, Jiejie!" he said as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "You're an amazing person and you'll be an amazing mother."
She laughed a little more as she murmured her thanks, and he hugged her even tighter. He buried his nose against her neck as he couldn't have done when he was younger. Her scent didn't burn his throat anymore. It was plum blossoms in spring rain and something about it had mellowed into a feeling of warmth and comfort. He was right. Her motherly instinct was strong. She would care for her pup and protect it and love it with all her heart.
What was missing from her scent though, was cautiously standing just slightly to her other side. Wei Ying gently released Jiang Yanli and turned to the man who stood beside her.
His movement was lightning swift. Jin Zixuan didn't have the chance to even step away before Wei Ying had his claws at the other shifter's throat and he squeezed and lifted until Jin Zixuan rose to the tips of his toes to prevent himself from being strangled.
"Please tell me that you did not get my sister pregnant before bonding with her first," Wei Ying snarled. When Jin Zixuan just coughed and gasped, Wei Ying stepped closer and his eyes began to glow blood red and angry. "Is she still not good enough to be your mate, Peacock? Didn't she deserve to have your mark?"
"Ask her yourself!" Jin Zixuan choked out.
"A-Xian, let him go!" Jiang Yanli shouted almost at the same time. "If you kill him because you're being stupid, I'll never forgive you!"
Wei Ying released her lover with a huff of disgust, and shifted his claws and his eyes back to human. Then he looked from one to the other.
Jin Zixuan was too busy trying to remember how to breathe, but Jiang Yanli looked upset enough to want to strangle Wei Ying herself. That was not good. He shouldn't have made her upset in the first place, especially in her condition. The Gold Wolves would likely start a new war if their Beta lost his pup before it was even born.
And Wei Ying could tell that Jin Zixuan was still a Beta of the Gold Wolves, even with Zixuan's father dead and the new Alpha being the brother who killed him.
"I'm sorry, Jiejie," Wei Ying apologized with a bow to her and her unborn pup. "His face just makes me want to rip him apart. I can't help it."
"A-Xian!" Jiang Yanli chided, more out of exasperation than anger though.
"Sorry," Wei Ying tried again. "Go into the other room, Jiejie. Sit down and rest. You must be exhausted from walking around with this fly buzzing by your ears all the time. There's someone special for you to meet inside."
He looked away from her and at Jin Haoran instead. The Epsilon hadn't even twitched a muscle to protect his Beta from Wei Ying's claws. Wei Ying raised an eyebrow at him.
"What?" Jin Haoran asked with a shrug and a grin. "She wouldn't have let you kill him. From what I heard from our Etas who fought in Nightless City, I didn't want to take my chances of being collateral damage. You are a force all on your own, and I'm not worthy to try and stop you."
"Be a better guardian for my nephew, Epsilon," Wei Ying ordered.
Jin Haoran bowed but the grin had only gotten wider when he responded, "Yessir!"
He escorted Jiang Yanli further into the house and Wei Ying listened to his sister's squeal of delight, and at a-Yuan's happy little voice responding to her plethora of questions, before he turned back to Jin Zixuan who was silently waiting.
"Why is she not married to you?" Wei Ying asked.
Jin Zixuan looked away. "You know why. She's scared."
"Of what! She's been crazy about you since she was nine years old! The only thing she has ever been scared of is you rejecting her."
Jin Zixuan took a step closer to Wei Ying so that their quiet conversation would not be overheard.
"Tiānzî, you know that's not true," he said with a shake of his head. "Something terrifies her more and that's why we're here. Because, I love her! Damn it! I love her so much, and I have asked her over and over to take my mark but she won't do it. Not until...."
Wei Ying sucked in a sharp breath and breathed it back out in frustration.
"Tiān na! You're still not an Alpha though. What is this going to prove? There are possibilities in a lot of packs, and your pack even has a new Alpha that would make more sense than this."
"I know you say you hate me," Jin Zixuan breathed. "But she knows that you really don't. If I could fall in love with her when I didn't even notice her before, then what's to prove to her that she can't be right in her fears about this? The only thing I could think of was to use the excuse of her pregnancy to find you."
Wei Ying's breath felt trapped in his throat and his heartbeat accelerated at the thought. He would need to at least half shift to perform the test and he really didn't want to open himself up to that.
"A-Xian? You have a son? How am I only just finding out about him right now?"
She sounded delighted and confused at the same time.
Wei Ying turned to watch Jiang Yangli walk back into the front room with her Epsilon by her side. His beautiful, amazing pack-sister who had loved him as much as she had loved her own blood brother, and had never asked him to be anyone but himself. Even while knowing that he was the Sena and could take her mate away from her in a single moment.
"Hold her. As tightly as you can, Haoran. Don't let her get to us before I'm done," Wei Ying commanded the Epsilon.
Understanding flashed in Jiang Yanli's eyes a second too late. Wei Ying turned back to face Jin Zixuan and took a step towards him. When he was close enough to press his lips against the side of Jin Zixuan's neck, Wei Ying shifted to his were-form so that the tips of his upper canines grazed there instead. Jin Zixuan's heart began to race.
Jiang Yanli screamed at the sight of the two of them.
It was a tortured sound, that was half human and half animal as the atmosphere in the room contracted around her and she began to shift. Jin Haoran grunted, since he was evidently putting all his human strength into holding her wolf back. Loud snarls and growls filled the air, sounding like they were being ripped from her throat with every breath.
Wei Ying's heart hurt for her. And he worried about his a-Yuan, who was probably upset and hiding somewhere in the next room.
Wei Ying slid his face down to the base of Jin Zixuan's throat and inhaled the scent of the Beta.
Peonies and incense, and plum blossoms in spring rain.
Wei Ying exhaled, then lightly rested his forehead against Jin Zixuan's shoulder before he quickly shifted back into his human form. And then he smiled. He felt the rumble of laughter build in Jin Zixuan's chest as the man also chuckled. Wei Ying raised his head and looked at Jin Zixuan with the smile still on his face, and Jin Zixuan's laughter mellowed into a soft smile too.
They both turned to look at her.
Jin Haoran was on his knees with his arms around her neck and chest as she struggled on her hind legs to break his hold. All the while she howled and raged.
Wei Ying walked over to her and crouched in front of her snarling teeth and pressed a kiss to the tip of her shiny black nose.
"He smells like you," he said to her. "He's not my mate, Yanli. He's yours."
At his words she immediately quieted. And then little whimpers escaped her throat as she began to shift into her human form. When she was sitting on Wei Ying's floor in front of him, she hung her head and sobbed in great, massive racks of tears that shook her entire body.
Jin Haoran released his hold on her. Wei Ying pulled her into his arms instead. He wrapped both his hands around her neck and held her tight. And he kissed the side of her head and one tear stained cheek.
"Jiejie, he loves you," he said to her. "He loves you so much already, and he wants to marry you. Put the man out of his misery and take his mark."
She looked up, over Wei Ying's shoulder to the shifter who was looking down at her with adoration.
"All this time, Angel?" Jin Zixuan asked her quietly. "All these years? How could you doubt me so much?"
She didn't seem to be able to speak yet as she just shook her head and cried some more.
Wei Ying released his hold on her and rose to his feet. He met Jin Zixuan's gaze with a look that was both a blessing and a warning before he slipped away to give them time to have a conversation.
In the next room, a-Yuan was still sitting on the couch, this time with the tv turned off. He had his knees tucked up to his chest and his little arms wrapped around them as he stared at the doorway where all the snarling and growling had been coming from. He didn't actually look as terrified as Wei Ying thought he would. If anything, he looked worried and confused.
Wei Ying sat on the couch beside him and immediately a-Yuan scrambled over to snuggle into his father's lap.
"Are you okay?" Wei Ying asked as he brushed his fingers through a-Yuan's messy hair.
"Yes."
Wei Ying nodded. "Good. I promise, she's not always that scary. She's actually really, really kind." He leaned down to whisper into his son's ear. "And she's going to have a baby. A pup, like you. Maybe if her peacock husband lets her out of his sight once in a while, one day we can visit them in Lanling, and then you can meet him."
"He's a peacock?" A-Yuan gasped, obviously zeroing in on the most important piece of information that he was being told.
Wei Ying nodded again very seriously as a-Yuan tilted his head to look up at him in awe.
"Yeah," Wei Ying confirmed. "He's a peacock. That's what a peacock looks like, my little radish."
🐺
More and more months passed as Wei Ying settled into trying to provide a balanced life for a-Yuan. The talk of the Blood Wolves and the battle at Nightless City continued to spread over a year later, with no indication that it would ever stop.
Yiling, being a town of mixed population, had news of shifters and non-shifters in equal parts. When Yunmeng was rebuilt and Jiang Wanyin began to accept and train warriors into the Storm Wolves' pack again, the news made Wei Ying feel both relieved and wistful.
When the Alpha of the Gold Wolves was challenged, and won, against one of his Zetas, Wei Ying was so surprised that he almost took a trip to Lanling to verify the rumor in person. He had no idea how Jin Guangyao was holding on to the title, but clearly determination and spending all those years training with Qinghe and Gusu warriors, had taught him exceptionally well, and much more than anyone could have predicted. For all of the suspicions that surrounded the Gold Wolves, the Lanling pack was still one of the wealthiest, and most powerful wolf packs.
Wei Ying, for that reason, stayed far away from Lanling and its Golden Koi Tower.
It became easier, as the months passed, for Wei Ying to endure only being in his human form. The ache in his skull and bones at night became more of a dull pain that he could ignore. Though his nightmares still kept him awake for days at a time, he put most of his energy into enrolling in school and getting a typical education. It was only slightly embarrassing for him when he realized that his professors at university all considered him a genius and a prodigy, because of how short a time it took him to catch up to the rest of his classmates.
A-Yuan in the meantime was putting all his energy into finding out as much as he could about his first shift.
"Baba! You're not listening!" A-Yuan exclaimed one evening, just before they needed to prepare for bed.
He had complained of a headache early in the morning so Wei Ying had spent all day taking care of him. When he developed a fever in the afternoon, Wei Ying gave him warm soup to sip on and told him story after story about the wolves around the world and their packs.
By night time, he felt well enough to relocate to the floor in Wei Ying's room. They had kept each other company through dinner time and reading time.
"Huh?" Wei Ying asked with a distracted yawn. "I was listening, my radish. You were talking weren't you? I could still hear you. What were you saying? Remind me."
A-Yuan gave him a look full of childish frustration.
"What color wolf do you think I'll be?" he asked again. "This book says that some wolves are grey, and some wolves are brown. And there are big wolves with large paws. And there are small wolves with bushy tails. Do you think I'll have big paws and a bushy tail?"
"You'll definitely have paws and a tail," Wei Ying agreed.
"Baba!"
"Hmm?" Wei Ying hummed with a wide grin.
He rose from the chair at his desk and joined his son on the bedroom floor. Then he reached over to pull the little boy into his lap. There was a loud crash when he moved, as one of his very heavy university textbooks fell to the ground too, but Wei Ying ignored it.
"If you don't have paws and a tail, how is everyone going to know you're a wolf?" he teased.
"I want to be big and strong!" A-Yuan said excitedly.
His forehead was warm and his scattered ashes scent tickled the back of Wei Ying's throat like a fine powder. Wei Ying nuzzled against one flushed cheek.
"Baba!" A-Yuan whined with a giggle. "Stop sniffing me!"
"I have a question for you, little radish. Close your eyes and listen carefully," Wei Ying instructed.
"What is it?"
Wei Ying shifted his eyes to their blood red color and hovered his lips near a-Yuan's ear. He waited until he could sense the little boy's breathing getting slow and steady, even while he listened for the rhythmic flutter of his heartbeats.
"Do you really, really want to be a wolf, Wei Yuan? Are you sure?" Wei Ying asked.
"Yes!" A-Yuan gasped.
"Really sure? More than anything in this world right now? You have to want it, bǎobèi."
A-Yuan nodded, but his little body began to tremble. Wei Ying wrapped his arms around him and held him close. His scattered ashes scent was beginning to fade. Like a gentle breeze was blowing at it; blowing it away one particle at a time.
"Okay then. I have another question for you," Wei Ying said softly. "Are you ready?"
A-Yuan was shaking like a leaf but he kept his eyes squeezed shut even when a little sob escaped and Wei Ying saw tears gather at the base of his eyelashes.
"Baba, I'm scared," he admitted in a tiny whisper.
Wei Ying kissed the top of his head, and hummed in sympathy. Then he closed his own eyes and concentrated.
A warm red glow blossomed at Wei Ying's fingertips as his black motorcycle gloves shimmered into sight. The glow became steady beams of spiritual energy as Wei Ying raised his hands to A-Yuan's temples.
The Sena searched for the thread of Wei Yuan's wolf form in a blizzard of falling ashes and dark soot. He tried to follow the scent to a-Yuan's core but it was fading so fast that he couldn't pinpoint the essence of it.
He was going to have to shift.
As soon as he had the thought, Wuxian exploded into the small room and he curled his large black body around his pup. A-Yuan was almost vibrating as his body fought and fought, trying to trigger the shift that refused to work.
The Sena went on a hunt in the landscape of Wei Yuan's consciousness.
Something was tearing his son's wolf apart. Trying to eradicate it. The ashes, the soot, the fading scent, the fever, the headache, the moment Wei Ying had looked at him and asked Wen Qing almost five years ago what could be wrong with the baby, and she had been so sure that there was nothing.
Someone had tried to set him on fire. And he was burning now.
"Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying shouted as loudly as he could across the distance between their two minds. "Help me!"
There wasn't even a question of doubt as Wei Ying felt Lan Zhan's white wolf focus on the communication channel that had opened between them. Lan Zhan concentrated all his attention on the flood of Wei Ying's spiritual powers that carved a path through a-Yuan's dantians, making him glow like a star within their connection.
"I can't...I can't find him! Lan Zhan, I can't lose him. What should I do?" Wei Ying panicked.
"It's okay, Wei Ying," Lan Zhan soothed. "I'm here. I can find him for us. Focus on getting rid of the dark energy. I can't see past it."
He was so calm and sure, and Wei Ying trusted him so very much. Wei Ying remembered that in Qinghe, Lan Zhan had healed him as well as any Theta, and that Lan Zhan had said in Nightless City that his pack had all the best Iotas.
They worked together, sharing spiritual powers across the distance as if they were in the same space, as a single person.
Wei Ying's wolf form laid curled around the physical, shaking, body of his child, but it was Lan Zhan's beams of sky blue spiritual energy that worked relentlessly to save his son.
Once the blizzard of ashes and soot cleared, Wei Ying could finally see what Lan Zhan had been doing.
A web of blue light pulsed near the center of Wei Yuan's core. His human form was strong and steady. Woven around it was a young wolf form that slowly and steadily began to strengthen and intensify. It drew from Lan Zhan's strong, shining blue spiritual energy. Wei Ying sent his own shimmering red web to fortify the wolf, even though it was somewhat obvious that it wasn't really needed. Still, the little wolf seemed to bask in the balance of the red along with the blue.
"Tell me it's not usually this difficult. I've definitely heard of children shifting on their own," Wei Ying said.
"I remember my first shift barely being something I felt," Lan Zhan responded. "It was definitely not like this with other pups in Cloud Recesses."
"Yeah," Wei Ying mused. "I thought not."
"Wei Ying, I have never seen or done anything like this before. There are children who never shift, but again it's instantaneous, and I've never watched the wolf fade inside their consciousness. I've never stopped it before. You made yourself into a conduit and pulled me in with you," Lan Zhan said.
Wei Ying huffed self-consciously. "I had no idea I could drag you in, if that helps. I panicked and you're you, so of course it worked!"
"You're you," Lan Zhan countered. "A true asena."
Wei Ying didn't know what to say to that so instead he turned his attention to a-Yuan. The difficulty of the shift was already over but Wei Ying searched as thoroughly as he could to find if there was even the tiniest drop of darkness left in a-Yuan's core. When there was nothing left to find, Wei Ying finally relaxed.
Slowly, carefully, he retreated away from the core of a-Yuan's budding spiritual powers. All that remained was the open communication channel between him and Lan Zhan.
It had been so long since Wei Ying had even been in his wolf form, much less risked reaching out to Lan Zhan, that he hesitated to immediately close the connection.
"Thank you for saving my pup, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying said. "I think he's half yours too now."
"For you, Wei Ying, I would do anything," Lan Zhan responded honestly.
Wei Ying's breath caught in his chest at those words. He wanted to be near Lan Zhan. He wanted to see him. He almost let himself be swayed in the decision that he had held on to; the promise that he had made to himself. A-Yuan had gone through his first shift and would need a pack more than a parent from now on. Wei Ying could finally get away from all the shifters who simultaneously adored him as the Sena, and feared him.
Wei Ying looked down at the little red wolf that was slumped against his side, and he lowered his muzzle to sniff the newly shifted pup. A-Yuan smelled of scattered ashes, just like always, and maybe just the tiniest hint of fire and sandalwood. He was perfect just the way he was, and now he would grow up to be big and strong.
"Lan Zhan, you're the best person I've ever met in my life. I want my son to be an Ice Wolf, like you," Wei Ying admitted into the silence that had fallen between them.
When the white wolf didn't respond, Wei Ying gathered every ounce of his resolve and said, "When I leave, would you look after him for me?"
🐺
Standing outside the cave that he hadn't seen in six years, memories flooded Wei Ying's mind.
The first time he had been here, snow had covered every inch of the mountainside and Wei Ying had bled a path all the way past the entrance and into the darkest corner.
He wasn't bleeding now, but he felt wounded.
Inside the cave a song was being played on seven spiritual strings. A song that was so sad, it brought back memories. The first time he saw Lan Zhan. The first time he spoke to him. The first time he smelled his scent. The first time he felt this way.
"Baba, who is that?" A-Yuan asked shyly.
Wei Ying sucked in a sharp breath of air to calm his stuttering heart as the music stopped, and the person near the entrance of the cave approached the two of them.
Same age, same height, same beautiful wolf-colored golden eyes. He wasn't dressed like a warrior this time. He was in the mountains of Gusu, near his home. He wasn't wearing his half mask.
The breath caught in Wei Ying's throat and he couldn't stop his eyes from greedily taking in every aspect of the other shifter. When he was sixteen, he had spent two weeks in the cold, dark cave and hadn't seen this face. They weren't sixteen anymore. Wei Ying was not shy about looking.
"Lan Zhan, is this being fair?" he asked between steady breaths. "God, are you even real? How can you be more beautiful than I even thought?"
"Are you being fair?" Lan Zhan countered, as he stopped with barely any space between them.
Wei Ying just stared at him.
"Ice Wolves are very private. Outside of Cloud Recesses we don't remove our masks for anyone. There are illusions woven into the fabric. To protect the identity of our leaders in battle and to camouflage us when we need to work unseen," Lan Zhan explained. "You asked for me to hide Sizhui in my pack, as my own son. You should at least know what I look like."
Wei Ying wanted to touch him. He didn't care how irrational the thought was, he just wanted to put his hands on him. He still couldn't believe this man was real. People said that Wei Ying was a heavenly being, but they had never seen Lan Zhan without a mask before. The gods of the heavenly realm were probably jealous of this face.
"Baba!" A-Yuan tugged at Wei Ying's arm and luckily stopped him from doing something stupid.
Like being shameless. Like pressing the back of his neck to Lan Zhan's teeth. Like begging.
"Hello Sizhui. Your father said you wanted to join a pack to learn how to be a warrior. Is that true?" Lan Zhan asked, when it was obvious that Wei Ying was having a silent crisis.
"Yes!" A-Yuan responded enthusiastically. "Are you an Ice Wolf? Baba says the Gusu pack is the best! He says that now that I'm five years old, I can go to school here and meet other pups, and learn how to fight in both my forms. Are you an Alpha?"
Lan Zhan crouched in front of the little boy. His tight jeans and white shirt seemed to mold to the muscles of his warrior's body even more. This did nothing to help Wei Ying's concentration.
"I'm a Zeta, not the Alpha of my pack," he said patiently. "One of the first things you'll learn is how to tell each wolf's status in the pack. After that, you'll learn about wolf body language, and about communication channels, and scents, and markings."
A-Yuan was practically vibrating with excitement the more Lan Zhan explained to him.
Wei Ying took a few steps backwards away from the Zeta and the pup to clear his thoughts and to give them some time to get to know each other. He wanted Wei Yuan to be enthusiastic about every aspect of shifting and being a wolf. He wanted him to love his new pack and his new teachers.
As soon as he moved away though, Lan Zhan's gaze focussed on him. Wei Ying felt little flutters in his stomach at the look in Lan Zhan's eyes.
"I wasn't leaving!" Wei Ying said in a hurry with a nervous laugh and a wave of his hand. "I wouldn't just abandon him into your arms and make a run for it. Nope! Not something I would do."
A-Yuan turned to smile at his father and Wei Ying raised an eyebrow at him.
The kid did not look like he thought he was being abandoned. He looked like he couldn't wait for Wei Ying to leave so that he could follow his new lăoshī back to the promised school of other pups, and interesting lessons.
"So I'll send for him on winter and summer breaks, depending on if he even wants to visit me," Wei Ying said. "You can have him the rest of the time. Like shared custody!"
Lan Zhan rose to his full height and walked over to Wei Ying until they were standing close again.
"What about Wen Qing?" he asked.
Wei Ying's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "What about her? She's nowhere near Gusu right now, if you're hoping to meet with her."
"She is your Luna," Lan Zhan pointed out. "I understand you not wanting him to carry the stigma of the Blood Wolves pack, but when I met with you during the war, while in Pingyang, the two of you were taking care of him together."
Wei Ying shook his head and said, "She's in Nightless City with her brother and Wen Zhuliu. And she's not my Luna. She's just appointed to do what she can for the remaining members of her pack. I'm pretty sure she'd throw a fit if she heard either of us naming her as Luna. She hates the Blood Wolves more than any other pack ever did because she was one of them."
Wei Ying steadily held Lan Zhan's gaze so that he didn't leave with any miscommunication between them.
"Wei Yuan is adopted. He is my child. Yours now, as far as anyone else is concerned," he said firmly.
Lan Zhan nodded in acceptance.
"Wen Zhuliu?" he asked in a low, dark tone. "He's not dead?"
Wei Ying couldn't help it. He doubled over in laughter.
"Lan Zhan! Your face might not show much expression but that look in your eyes is deadly!" he sputtered. "Lan Zhan, I hope you're not going to secretly start plotting to kill Wen Zhuliu now that you know he's still alive!"
"He held you down to be bitten. He deserves worse than death," Lan Zhan said.
Wei Ying stared at him before he finally managed to say, "He improvised."
"He could have improvised something else. He wanted to inspire the worst reaction in you. He wanted his Alpha to suffer, and he used you for it."
"Weapon. Remember," Wei Ying said with a sad smile. "He did what he had to do to get the outcome he wanted."
Lan Zhan's golden eyes seemed to catch fire from his silent rage. He looked like he was only a few seconds away from violence.
Sexy. Very sexy. But Wei Ying couldn't allow it.
"Lan Zhan," he said with a smile. "You're not going to hunt down every wolf who ever hurt me. You'll be fighting Alphas every day for a year."
Wei Ying immediately got that urge again. To touch him. To press their foreheads together. To breathe him in. To hold on to him. To stay with him.
Stay. Don't leave him, he thought silently.
Wei Ying shuffled backwards from the maddening idea and almost tripped over his son. The two of them reached out to A-Yuan at the same time to prevent the little boy from falling. For all their effort, a-Yuan just giggled. And Wei Ying realized that he definitely needed to stop prolonging his departure.
"I'll leave then," he said. "I hope Sizhui behaves for you and doesn't cause too much trouble."
He crouched in front of a-Yuan and wrapped him into a tight hug. Then he pressed a flurry of kisses all over the little boy's head and cheeks until there was only laughter between them.
When he rose to face Lan Zhan again his vision blurred and he hurried to look away to stop the stinging in his eyes. He missed his son already, and his house would seem so quiet without a-Yuan's constant presence. But there was another ache too, and that had nothing to do with his child.
Gentle fingers brushed across one cheekbone and Wei Ying felt them spread the moisture that he couldn't hide.
"Don't," Lan Zhan breathed. "Anything, Wei Ying, but not when there are tears."
He was so beautiful. So amazing. So kind and loyal, and it made Wei Ying's heart ache not to have him. But Wei Ying couldn't do this to him. Couldn't ask him to be something that he didn't want to be. Or to do something that he didn't think he had a right to do. Even though, deep down Wei Ying had already accepted that nothing this gorgeous warrior did could ever be wrong.
He stepped away from Lan Zhan's touch before the gentle caress could make his heart hurt even more.
"I'll see you again, Lan Zhan," he said in as steady a voice as he could manage.
Lan Zhan just nodded. His face was a calm façade that hid his emotions almost as effectively as his half-mask, but when Wei Ying took another step back, he saw the tiniest flinch at the corners of Lan Zhan's golden eyes.
Before Wei Ying could react to it, Lan Zhan reached down and effortlessly lifted a-Yuan under his arms, and cradled him to his side the same way that Wei Ying always did. Then without a word, he strode away, down a path on the mountainside.
Wei Ying watched the two of them for a few seconds, before he turned in the opposite direction, and also walked away.