Jackson had been building bombs and within his basement was information he'd gathered on several workers. For a few employees he had pictures of them going to work, spending time with their families, even sleeping. We'd called the tech team to dismantle the bomb and incinerate the evidence.
The technicalities of body disposal wasn't overly complex even if it was interesting. Doing it, though, I knew I would see in my dreams every night. Ray was stronger than me. She lifted him and dropped him in the oil drum. I poured the acid. After he'd been dissolved I let the tech team take him. I wished I hadn't looked but I couldn't help myself.
Ray was driving me home. I hadn't said a word to her since I took care of the body. She knew not to press. Instead she let me stare out the window, my eyes as vacant as his had been. No. Not as vacant. I had the luxury of being haunted.
Ray pulled into the driveway and we got out of the car, each with one duffel bag, to see Viper waiting on our front step. We let her in and set the bags on the floor. I fell into the recliner. Ray watched V with intent but all I could read in V's expression was the ghost of understanding. She sat across from me.
"You killed him?"
"I disposed of the body."
She made a gesture of understanding, "It gets easier."
I nodded. I didn't want it to get easier, though. I couldn't imagine who I'd be. As he was dying all I could think of was what else we could have done.
V leaned forward on her knees, "He was plotting a mass killing. You saved a lot of lives. But this was an easy mission so if you need to back out you do it now."
I licked my lips and straightened my spine, "I don't want to back out."
She turned to Ray, "You?"
"I'm fine."
"You both followed the plan well. I'm proud of you girls. I was around your age when I joined and I've seen hard missions. I've dealt with shootouts, torture, abductions... you have to be sure that you're making the right choice."
"I know I am," Said Ray.
"Me, too."
"I'm glad. I think you'll be very useful," She eased herself onto her feet and began making her way to the kitchen, "I'll make you two some food. You've had a long day."
"Thank you," We both said.
We turned on the television and burrowed under the blankets. We wall chatted about the show we were watching until we heard a knock on the door. I checked the door camera on my phone and saw Vince on the step and froze. I looked to Viper. I could tell she knew.
I ran around the couch and down the hall to open the door. I was met with Vince wearing a casual suit as he leaned against the wall.
"Is everything okay?"
"I'm sorry. I know I should have called but you seemed off on the phone."
"I'm fine," I shrugged.
"You look tired."
"Rude."
"Can we talk?"
I shut the door and followed him to the firepit by the trees. We sat on a log. He turned to me, his hair messy and and his eyes filled with concern. It made it hard to keep still.
"Do you feel unsafe with me after the break-in? You've seemed unsettled a lot this past year."
I was taken aback. These past two years I'd been battling the dreams of him I couldn't escape whether awake or asleep.
"I think I'm just confused."
"Is there anything you need to know?"
"Why did you have a file on me?"
"I research people that come into my life."
I licked my lips and nodded, "I understand. I thought maybe my family was a part of a mission."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"I've been thinking this for the past year and I need you to tell me the truth. I won't be upset with you."
"Alright."
"Have you been working for the organization?"
"No."
"Don't lie to me."
"Why are you so concerned about this?"
"I care about you."
"Why?"
He leaned forward on his knees. He stared up at me from under his brows, "Why does anyone care about anyone?"
"I haven't seen you be this attentive to anyone else."
"I see myself in you."
I slouched. I looked down at my feel, "I'm sorry I've been so rude."
"How much have you done?"
"What?"
"For the organization."
"Nothing. Again, I want to design medical equipment. I don't want to be a spy."
"Okay. I believe you."
"Do you?"
He laughed without humor, "No."
"Do you regret joining?"
"No," He said without hesitation, "But, while I see similarities in us, I live a life of seclusion. I joined when I was nineteen. Viper rescued me when I was six I think. I had no name, no documentation, nothing. When she found me she took me in. She had me trained, she put me through schooling. The people of the organization are my life but I know nothing else. You do. You may think the grass is greener on the other side and sometimes when you find it isn't you can't go back."
"I'm sorry you went through all that."
"Don't be. I'm happy. Just live your life to it's fullest and I'll be even happier."
"Thank you," I said, pausing to run my fingers through my hair, "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
I bit my lip. I couldn't meet his gaze as I spoke, "How many people have you killed?"
"I couldn't say."
"More than one hundred?"
"Without a doubt," He raked his fingers through his hair, "I've never killed an innocent person, though."
"I know," I promised, being sure to look into his eyes that melted into mine, "Are you the reason they didn't kill us the night of the break-in?"
"Yes."
"Why did Viper talk to us instead of you?"
"She's the one person I trust. That and I couldn't speak to you after I'd failed."
"What do you mean?"
"It's my job to avoid making you suspicious in the first place."
"I'm more perceptive than other people."
"I should have known that, too."
I leaned closer to him and put my hand on his knee. I felt his muscles flex under my palm and my face grew hot. My mouth went dry.
"Stop blaming yourself. Everything worked out. Besides, you were shot. It was selfish to start suspecting you."
"I don't expect you to trust me after the men your mother's dated."
"Your too nice to me."
"That's impossible," He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close. I felt my heart spasm. After a tight squeeze he said, "I have to go."
"A mission?"
He stood. He smiled down at me, "I can't talk about my work."
"I understand. Just please be safe."
"Of course."
I watched him stride back into his car and waved as he drove off. In his absence I felt my chest had been hollowed out.
I went back into the cabin where Viper and Ray were waiting at the table for me. The hearty smell of chicken and honey garlic had filled the room. I sat down and picked up a chicken wing. I sunk my teeth into the meat, the crispy skin crackling under the pressure.
"He's suspicious?" Viper asked. When I nodded she said, "One day he'll be ready."
I finished off my wing and grabbed a flat, "Can you tell me what mission he's on?"
Viper sipped her lemon water and wiped her mouth in a napkin, "An assassin fled the country before he could be arrested. He went to Vimme, our enemies, to avoid being sent back."
I sucked the last chicken wing clean and wiped my hands and mouth. I sipped my drink. I leaned against the table. I could tell Viper took offense to seeing my elbows atop the mahogany. With a coy smile I sat back with my hands on my lap.
"Does he have anyone watching his back?"
Ray shot me with a harsh look of warning.
"No. He chooses to work alone. He's good at it."
"Can I go to watch out for him?"
"No."
"He saved my life twice."
"This is a trained killer, Masha. You've been on one mission. No."
"He won't even get to see me."
"You don't understand; Vince will shoot me if something happens to you on my watch. He would shoot me if he even knew you were in Vimme."
That took me aback. I stilled. Looking at Viper I knew that she knew something.
"Why?"
"He's married to your mother."
Maybe it was wishful thinking. I hated this feeling of embarrassment. Nevertheless I shrugged it off.
"He can't do this alone."
"He's been doing this alone for over twenty years."
"Please. I promise he won't even see me. You know I can do it."
She assessed me with narrow eyes, "Alright. But one mistake and you're coming home."