Clementine:
The stars hung dim above the darkened field, and the humming electric fence buzzed faintly in the distance. I stepped out of the farmhouse, the wooden screen door creaking behind me before thudding shut.
The porch was dark; only the fire flickering near the large tree beside the house illuminated the area.
The air was thick, perhaps with tension or smoke from the fire pit, still smoldering from earlier. I dragged one of the chairs across the dirt and placed it near the old tree with a rope swing dangling. Clementine seemed to like swinging on it a lot, maybe because it reminded her of her home. I sat down, staring at the bright orange fire, glowing like a dying star.
No one else wanted to step outside, not after what happened with Duck; the gunshots were still ringing clear in their ears.
I lit a cigarette with a match. Save-Lots had all sorts of "stimulants" inside, which I obviously didn't bring with me.
The swing creaked gently in the wind behind me.
Then—footsteps. Light but purposeful, though there was some stagger in them, not out of hesitation, just an outcome of her action.
Lilly.
She emerged from the porch with the wary confidence she always wore, arms crossed against her chest. Fire's radiance caught her outline.
Without asking, she approached the fire pit and slipped onto my lap. Her weight settled in with a certain familiarity, and neither of us objected.
I threw the cigarette in the fire, letting it burn.
We sat like that in silence for a while, the fire pit whispering faint pops of heat beneath them.
Then her voice came, low and probing.
"You think maybe you were… a little hard on them?"
I didn't answer, my jaw tightening once, then again.
"You didn't even go check on Carley," She continued. She tilted her head slightly to look up at me, her voice soft but pressing. "Are you sure you love her?"
She leaned back a little more to see my face, her eyes softened for a moment before she chuckled and snuggled back into my chest.
"Haha, and here I thought—" She didn't finish her sentence.
My face had turned ugly, what I was feeling wasn't normal, not for me at least, the kind of anger I hadn't felt in a while, at my self more than any one, had I been here, Carley wouldn't have gone through that experiance, Clementine would be sitting beside me instead of hiding inside, along with the others with their open wounds of the outside.
A few moments passed pondering on it, my finger tangled in Lilly's hair, a strange comfort I found in them.
I sighed heavily. Am I changing?
"I think you are," I blinked and looked down at Lilly, her head resting on my chest, her eyes closed.
"How—"
"Because… I love you," her words came low, but with a weight my ears were unfrequented with. Or I had just realised their substance.
The thought was interrupted when we heard another set of footsteps, which were quiet and hesitant.
Clementine's figure came into the fire's glow, her head down, her hands forming fists at her sides.
She looked smaller than usual—barefoot, a sweatshirt too big for her shoulders, hair messy from restlessness. She didn't look up.
Lilly shifted in my lap but didn't move away. Her hand slid onto my chest, grounding me.
I waited.
Finally, Clementine looked up. Her eyes weren't wet, but they had a glassy edge to them. She wasn't crying. She was trying not to.
"Can I sit here?" she asked, voice quiet.
"You don't have to ask Clem? Just pull a chair." Lilly bluntly said.
Clem glanced at her sitting on my lap, then grabbed a folding chair from the porch and dragged it over. She didn't sit right away. Just stood there, string at the swing as it swayed gently behind me.
"You know… Duck was annoying," she muttered. "But he—"
"Didn't deserve that." I completed her words, my hands wrapping around Lilly's waist as I sat upright.
Clem finally sat down, her knees pressing to her chest, hugging them close. "I had a dream last week." She blurted out, "I was at home. My dad was in the backyard grilling, and I was on the swing, and—Sniff!" She began to sob, unable to complete her sentence. Lilly quickly stood up, going to her side.
Lilly knelt beside her chair, one hand gently resting on Clementine's knee while the other brushed through her messy hair. The contrast between them, the hardened soldier and the fragile girl, it wasn't black and white; it felt like the past and the future of the same girl.
I watched them both in silence, the fire crackling between us. The guilt clawed again at my side, and here I thought I was changing. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to get up and console her.
"I don't want to be alone," she murmured, her voice muffled in Lilly's shirt.
Suddenly, as those words entered my ears, my body moved, and I found myself standing beside the two.
I leaned toward Clementine, my hand reaching her head, as she cried in silence.
Lilly wrapped both her arms around her and held her close, whispering, "You'll never be alone, I promise."
I looked away for a second, exhaling.
Clem turned toward me, her voice barely audible. "If you weren't here, none of us would've made it."
"Remember what I told you?" I began, "I'll always be here."
"Even if I'm not in front of you."
Lilly watched me as I said it, her expression unreadable.
Clementine slowly stood up, took a step toward me, and wrapped her arms around me.
I didn't move, not until Lilly gave me a look.
Sigh~
I wrapped one arm around her back gently, bringing her closer to me, letting her feel the only kind of warmth I could display.
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Read +3 or +7 chapters ahead on my Pat*eon
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