--
"I'm so sick of your useless attitude!" Hidan kept muttering along the road. "Two people traveling, and my companion's a bore like you. A rare trip like this gets completely ruined. What a waste."
Kakuzu squinted at him. "We didn't come out here to have fun."
"Looking for Jinchūriki who don't even know we're coming? Tch, we might as well go after the Nine-Tails head-on!" Hidan's face lit up with bloodthirsty glee. "Just thinking about our first battle three years ago gets my blood pumping!"
Kakuzu: "...Tch."
"It's seriously annoying chasing down Jinchūriki who might not even be around!" Hidan grumbled. "Think about me for once, will you? I'm stuck tagging along on your little side job! Show a little sympathy! Huh?!"
"Shut your damn mouth already!" Kakuzu snapped, irritated. "I'm heading to the bounty station to find a Fire Release user for the target list. If I don't, we'll miss the window."
"Agh~? Miss it? Aren't we already heading to the bounty station?!" Hidan shouted. "This is such a boring job, and the trip's dragging on forever! What a pain in the ass!"
Kakuzu suddenly stopped in his tracks. "Troublesome? This is part of our core duties. Without the money I collect, what do you think funds the organization? Who do you think pays for your damn rituals?"
"Heh heh~! So the organization stuck you with the fundraising gig, huh?" Hidan spread his hands in mock surrender. "This shady money just ends up going toward hunting down Tailed Beasts anyway! Why are you taking it so seriously?!"
Kakuzu snapped, whirling around and launching a punch—blocked just in time by Hidan.
"Haha! Finally took the bait," Hidan sneered. "Come on, hit me harder!"
"You bastard..." Kakuzu growled, glaring at him before turning back around and continuing forward.
"Hey, hey! That's it?!" Hidan blinked, confused.
"I don't have time to entertain your boredom," Kakuzu said flatly. "One day, after all our tasks are complete, I'll kill you myself—and put you out of your misery."
"Ahh~ This again?" Hidan groaned and lazily swung his triple-bladed scythe onto his shoulder. "Hope the next opponent lasts longer than the last one..."
---
Hokage Office – Konohagakure
"Centered around the Fire Temple, we've initiated a 20-squad encirclement perimeter with a 150-kilometer radius," Shizune reported to Tsunade. "The net's tight enough that even an ant couldn't sneak through."
"Report!" A Chūnin burst through the doors. "No enemy presence detected in Team Three's designated area!"
"Still nothing?!" Tsunade frowned, tapping her fingers on the desk. "What about Asuma's squad at the Fire Temple?!"
"We haven't received an update yet..." the messenger reported nervously.
"Keep searching!" Tsunade barked.
"Yes, ma'am!" The shinobi all scrambled out to continue their missions.
"Dammit!" Tsunade growled, biting her thumb. "That guy's probably slacking off again!"
---
"Aaarghhhh!" Naruto whined loudly as he moved through the forest, clearly annoyed. "Why the hell am I helping track down S-Class rogues?! I'm just a Genin!"
Sakura, Sai, and Yamato: ...Yeah, but probably no one in Konoha could actually beat you, Genin or not.
"Huh?" Naruto suddenly looked up. "A bird? Sweet! Grilled chicken wings for lunch!"
He flicked his fingers, sending a precise chakra-enhanced pebble straight at the bird—and knocked it out of the air.
"Naruto!" the others shouted, faces twitching in disbelief. "That's a messenger hawk from one of our teams!"
Naruto looked closely and saw the scroll tied to the hawk's leg.
"Heh heh~" He scratched his head sheepishly, then quickly tossed the hawk back into the air like nothing had happened. "Whoops! My bad. Alright, let's keep going!"
...
Naruto continued ahead with an awkward expression, heading in the direction of a nearby bounty station...
---
Elsewhere, Yamashiro Aoba and Team One from the Intelligence Division also spotted the hawk released by Asuma's squad. Aoba gave a sharp whistle, and the bird descended obediently.
"A bounty station, huh..." The group exchanged serious glances before heading toward the closest one at full speed.
---
Inside one such bounty station—
"This place reeks!" Hidan grumbled, sitting just outside a toilet. "What's the damn point of putting a well-known bounty exchange next to a bathroom?!"
"Aghhh!!" he yelled. "Dammit, now my cloak smells like shit!"
Suddenly, a shadowy figure appeared behind him.
"Hey, Kakuzu! You took your sweet time—"
Whoosh! Three shuriken flew toward Hidan from behind.
"Nani?!" Hidan turned sharply, immediately swinging his triple-bladed scythe to deflect them. Standing behind him, Asuma Sarutobi emerged, both trench knives glowing with Wind Chakra.
Hidan lunged forward with his scythe—but suddenly froze mid-attack. Shadow Possession Jutsu!
Whoosh! Kotetsu Hagane and Izumo Kamizuki appeared beside Hidan and thrust their blades into his chest.
"Got him!" Asuma thought, narrowing his eyes. "Let's finish this one off first!"
Shikamaru and the others were just starting to relax when—
"Ow! Bastard! That hurts! Who the hell are you guys?!" Hidan yelled, alive and seemingly unbothered by the sword lodged in his chest.
"What?!" Asuma's team was stunned.
Shikamaru's eyes widened. So it's true… This must be that immortal body Naruto mentioned!
Kotetsu and Izumo pulled out their blades and stabbed him again—repeatedly.
"Hey, assholes! Stop twisting the damn blade around!" Hidan snarled at them. "It hurts, dammit!"
The two stared at him, completely baffled.
Kotetsu muttered, "Is this guy… immortal?!"
"No shit!" Hidan scoffed. "Thought that was obvious!"
At that moment, a new presence appeared behind Shikamaru!
"Shit!" the team shouted. "Shikamaru!"
BOOM! Kakuzu dropped from the roof above, smashing the structure and sending half the house crumbling in a cloud of debris.
"Tch, that was close." Shikamaru reappeared a short distance away, having used the Body Replacement Technique to escape at the last second.
Kotetsu and Izumo leapt away, putting distance between themselves and the enemy.
Hidan reached out and pulled his scythe back toward himself. "Kakuzu! Don't interfere this time. I want to use them for my ritual!"
"...Fine. But don't let your guard down—you'll die," Kakuzu muttered, stepping off to the side and sitting on a staircase with crossed arms.
"So it really is Kakuzu and Hidan," Shikamaru thought grimly.
"You always say that, but nothing ever kills me," Hidan sneered. He began drawing a circle on the ground with his own blood. "If they manage to kill me, I'd honestly be impressed. But I doubt they'll even come close."
"Just like Naruto said—Hidan, the immortal," Shikamaru whispered to the team.
"Alright..." Asuma stepped forward, lighting a cigarette with a casual flick. He took a long drag and exhaled slowly, his eyes sharpening. "Let's do this by the book—simulated training's over."
"Hai!" Kotetsu, Izumo, and Shikamaru nodded in unison, shifting into formation.
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