On a warm, sunny day August was sitting on the balcony of his room. While the sky glowed with the brilliant warmth of the Sun, August didn't seem to find anything worth being happy over that beautiful day though. In his mind however there was a complicated mess of emotions taking roots inside.
It has been two weeks since that trial class incident. August, as he sat there watching the beautiful day unfold before him he couldn't so much appreciate the beauty. His mind was running off to something else completely.
He was a responsible person. August always felt a sense of responsibility for whatever task was given to him. He felt the loss and gain as his own in any circumstance he happens to be involved in.
And this time, the whole mess seemed to be his doing. There was no chance in hell he didn't feel responsible for that. The matter was very serious to him, not only did he put all of the students along with his own life in danger, he nearly became a reason for hurting his mother.
Moving along with this chain of thoughts, he took a sip of tea. Suddenly overwhelmed by the taste he smiled faintly knowing well that this taste was somewhat alien to him because it was prepared by his father instead of mom.
'it tastes good'
———
When lady Sophia saw her beloved son standing on his own feet she was overjoyed but in that moment she was at the peak of her energy and mental resilience exhausted, therefore she collapsed on the spot.
Being hit by a severe backlash she never woke up since then. While it's true in that instant the barrier she had put across the house came undone it's also true the time she blocked the echoes it gave August's brain a considerable time to replenish its lost capacity and resilience so that he was able to be back in his state of resisting the echoes once again.
Ever since then, for two weeks it was Lord Valerius himself who had taken all the chores and housework on himself. Despite his warrior image he was very good at cooking also. Sipping the sweet liquid once again, his smile faded,
'but not good as mom's tea'
It did come as quite a surprise for August though. But he never gave it much of a thought. For him it wasn't time to humour himself with these thoughts. He was too busy blaming himself for the condition of his Mother.
August sighed and looked at the green leaves of trees flowing with the gentle breeze. After a while he heard a knock on the door.
"Coming"
August got up walking closer to the door. And froze to hear the other voice across.
"Hey! What's the holdup?"
It was none other than Shelly whom he saw as his big sister. Their bond was somewhat special. Less of a friend and more of a sibling type. Or that was what August thought until he heard about the real brother of Shelly who died some years ago.
Therefore he felt reluctant to talk to her now. At this state. He wasn't ready to confront the truths and lies of her story. Not now.
August thought they were this close at least to share the information as seriously as this to each other. But this wasn't the real reason for him to avoid confronting Shelly now though. He was wondering while Shelly was just looking for some emotional support and he was filling in for her dead brother.
Well this wasn't that bad of a thing for him but he didn't like being left in the shades. On top of that August was very considerate of his own value and importance in someone else's lives. He wanted others to see him as him. Not someone else.
If nothing, he wanted Shelly to tell him herself what had happened to her and he would let go of these stupid talks. If she really saw him as her family then why was something as severe as this between them kept as a secret?
Family members weren't supposed to have any secrets among them after all. This was the only logic he understood.
And also if there was another reason, he was happy to hear that too. But not now. August had more on his plate and also at the peak of his control over emotions. He feared that he could react to any of her reasons unreasonably.
"What are you even doing?"
The voice came again and August was thrown off his thoughts.
"Coming" he gathered all his strength and emotions which were all over the place, "don't you try to break my door now."
Opening the door there was a girl somewhat older than him standing at the other side. She got inside without bothering to look at him and ask for permission.
"What's this? This room is so messy" she said picking up the clothes fallen on the floor, "what is this, a dustbin?"
"No," August replied to her in the same manner, "it's my room."
"Oh yes? Is that so?" She stared at him in disbelief, and then rolled her eyes, "ah! Whatever"
"And you were doing what exactly?" Turning to the balcony she saw the chair and replied to herself suddenly, "don't bother, I figured it out."
Sitting on the chair on the balcony, "you were enjoying solitude weren't you?"
August never really listened to her exactly but because he knew her so well, assumed it was something useless already, "yes that's right" he replied reflexively.
It wasn't that hard to guess her questions but the difficult part however was to control himself from asking her the question directly which would definitely put a crack on their relation.
"What do I say? I mean you are this type of person after all" she said while gazing at the beautiful scenery before, however she fumbled for a second. The mask of happiness that she wore always experienced a crack, "is she alright now?"
Shelly asked him. It's not like Shelly came for the first time to ask about her teacher's health but this time she seemed more serious with her talks.
"I …uh don't know" he replied again starting to drown in the thoughts of worry again, "the doctors said she is okay though." A hint of sadness sounded in his tone, "but she …she isn't waking up."
"Oh! I see" Shelly stood up with the intention of heading back, "I'll come tomorrow." Speaking with dominance in her voice, "you, do eat well and on time also."
As well as August knew Shelly, she herself also knew him well. Shelly knew that August was a type of person better to be left alone and let him accept and sort out the situation by himself. He wasn't the type to need emotional support. At a time like this nonetheless.
If anything, he was the most understanding and mature for his age. He could handle himself well. Shelly knew her consolations would ultimately be proven unnecessary. That's what she thought, however she didn't know there was something bothering him related to her as well.
Shelly left silently and August closed the door after her. He sat on the wooden chair placed on his balcony wondering what he should do about this situation. Tracing the patterns in the sky with bags under his eyes, his gaze fell upon the cup of tea. Picking the cup in his hand, he brought the cup a bit closer to his lips.
Without taking a sip he placed the tea back on the table. He sighed and muttered under his breath, "it's grown cold"
—
"Right", someone shouted as August was brought back to reality. He realised being grown accustomed to this state of mind. He remembered in these times, not doing anything but overthinking? Or not thinking at all. He wasn't so sure himself. But the only thing he was able to make out of it was being constantly drowning in a deep state of mindlessness.
Was it the echoes? Or was it his vanishing will to use magic?
'Who am i kidding ?'
Exactly, August didn't need to lie to himself after all. Running away from himself, how far could one keep doing such a thing?
He knew the reason well. It was his unnecessary will to prove himself before whom exactly? He didn't have the answer.
The reason was his, a child's curiosity which put everyone else along with himself in danger. The reason was him. His mother hasn't woken up for two whole weeks.
"Dodge!" The shout came again, snapping August back to reality once again. It was like a mind hex he wasn't able to break out of. A constant state in which he would blame himself even if he didn't think so. The doubts after all, were too much to be countered by an immature child, like him.
"Watch your steps!" he shouted again, and August was finally able to make something out of reality. He looked at the composed but slightly angered face of his father. Which was quite unusual for him.
Because his kind and gentle father never showed even a hint of anger towards him. But strangely, his calm demeanor tends to change during the lessons of swords.
Aiming the tip of his wooden sword at his son Lord Valerius finally let out a sigh, his gentle voice encased in a hint of anger, "what are you doing Son?"
Making his authoritative tone sound loud and clear, "where are your senses? Why are you slacking off your training today?" lowering his sword and massaging his temples, "you think the enemy will give you time to daydream? Forget about that, you'll be struck down the moment you hesitate. I've told you countless times, the only way to survive is the way of sword. The world outside is unforgiving, filled with vultures who would bring you down the moment you start to lose yourself in the web of unnecessary thoughts."
"The world outside dad?" he asked immediately in an accusing tone, "what do you even mean by that?"
Valerius stood still for a moment, questioning his own lash out, but August wasn't done yet.
He never would've talked back to his father, the rage within himself was unexpected for him too. While August was struggling with his own thoughts of doubts his father said something which for some reason struck his nerve.
He stood up on his feet covered by dirt all over and said something which made the ground beneath his father crumble. Something that his parents thought their son didn't know. The fact they were keeping from him for some reason.
"You surely didn't mean the world outside this barrier, did you?" he continued with teary eyes, "people of this town say that we live in the great empire but why can't someone from the grand empire help us townsfolk? Why do you and …mom have to be in charge? Why does she have to do dangerous stuff? She …she could hurt herself because of some stupid children. And why can't we take her to the best doctors outside huh?"
Sobbing with pain but he never stopped talking, "why? Why did she do all that? Did mom really think I'd be happy if she never woke up? If …uh if she" the accusations trailed off his thoughts and were replaced by a deep sense of fear and worry, "what if she never woke up dad? What do we do then?"
"Let's go dad" he pleaded to his father, "let's take her to the capital. You have a friend there don't you? They would surely know someone capable of treating mom."
"No" , his father replied, his voice devoid of any emotion, "We can't do that"
Valerius expected an exaggerated response or even an angry response from his son. Since the questions he asked definitely were on mark and the ones he himself was trying to avoid being asked about. But this time however, watching his son pleading to save his mother was unbearable.
The truth though, was not meant to be revealed. Not now. In this state of August, he wouldn't be able to endure the intense words. And by his exaggerated reaction and not being able to calm himself, his father was sure of it. That however didn't matter.
He knew he would be inclined to tell his son. The truth why an enormous barrier covered their small unnamed town.
"Then what should we do?" being scared of the obvious questions hearing these words Valerius let out a sigh of relief, "isn't there anything we could do?"
"We should let her heal his father said, making his voice sound calm, "The doctor said she needs rest."
"Rest", August clicked his tongue, "okay then, as you say" he turned around and chuckled bitterly, "only if i could control myself better" he stopped midway and spoke again after a moment, "it's alright dad. Don't need to hold back. You can blame me too"
"August!" his father shouted in anger, "stop that right away. It was not your fault."
August however didn't even try to listen. He walked away with his words fading with distance,
"yeah , right"
—————