The Gay Line
"Hnnnng! What a wonderful day it is!" Nami stretched in her chair. "I can't believe it's so quiet and nice for once."
"Why are you surprised? You drugged our captain after all." Robin chuckled.
"Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but it feels like he's going to wake up any second now. We should be fine though, I did use quite a lot…"
"What are you going to do once Chopper realizes that you've stolen most of his tranquilizers? Robin asked, turning a page in her book.
"I'll apologize of course, but let's just enjoy ourselves for now while we still can!" Nami cheered.
"Fufufu, you devil." Robin grinned, reaching for her drink. "Oh…"
"What's wrong, Robin?" Nami asked.
"My drink is empty. I must've been thirstier than I thought." Robin said with a perplexed look on her face.
"Let's go ask Sanji for more!"
"Can't we just call him?"
"No, I don't want to ruin this day with needless noises…" Nami pouted.
"Well, let's go then."
The two ladies stood up from their chairs and headed towards the stairs leading up to the kitchen. Besides knocking her captain out, Nami had no idea what the rest of the crew were up to. They were most likely busy doing whatever they usually do on their own spare time, not that it was important. Once Luffy had been taken care of, most of the excitement went with him.
As Nami and Robin walked up the stairs, a faint conversation could be heard from the kitchen. There wasn't anything unusual with that of course, conversations happen all the time. When they reached the middle of the stairs, something flared up inside them. They stopped dead in their tracks as they just stared at each other. This conversation was different, but they couldn't tell why. The words being uttered were still too quiet to make anything out of.
One step at a time, slowly, they walked up the stairs. Their hearts began beating faster as they ascended, fearing that someone might catch them in the act. They did not even know why they were scared of being caught, they were doing nothing wrong. As they reached the top, the conversation grew louder and louder. Only the faintest of words could be deciphered, but that was all Nami and Robin needed.
Sweat began running down their foreheads, goosebumps grew all over them and their breath became deep and ragged. They looked at each other before taking the last few steps towards the door. Their legs began trembling, knees almost giving out to the sheer pressure of the situation; just a few more steps. Once they had reached the door, the two leaned in and put their ears against the hard wood. They closed their eyes and listened.
"I told you, I don't want the others to know that we're doing this." Zoro growled.
"Oh grow up, you baby. We both know it was a long time coming." Sanji retorted.
Nami and Robin couldn't believe what they were hearing. They looked at each other, tears slowly forming at the edges of their eyes. Smiles decorated their faces as they hugged, it had finally happened. They quickly placed their ears back at the door, not wanting to miss anything.
"I'll just have a taste." Sanji said. A couple of minutes passed, until Zoro finally raised his voice.
"Oh yeah… That hit the spot!" Zoro sighed.
"Mmm… Mhmm… It's a bit salty, but the texture is good."
"Heh, like you could do any better."
"Ooooh, I've been waiting for you to say that." Sanji flared up. "Feast your eye on this!"
"What the hell!?" Zoro grunted in disapproval. "How can yours be so much bigger than mine!?"
"If I told you that then I wouldn't get to gloat this much." Sanji chuckled.
"Whatever, just give me the damn thing…" Zoro muttered.
"Hey, don't just grab it like that, have some finesse!"
"Stop moaning…"
"Why are you just holding it in front of your face like that?
"It's warm and much harder than I thought..." Zoro replied.
"WHAT THE SHIT DID YOU EXPECT!?" Sanji roared.
"Jeez, calm down. I'm just messing with you.
"Just put it in your mouth already…"
"Fine…" Zoro replied with a grunt.
The room went silent. Nami and Robin pressed themselves against the door, desperately trying to find the smallest hint of what was going on. As the silence went on, so did their imagination. Their faces became beat red from all the images popping up in their heads. After a few more minutes, they could finally hear the boys talking again.
"What's taking you so long, just swallow it already." Sanji groaned.
"If you spent several minutes tasting it, then I want to do the same!" Zoro replied after a moment of silence.
"What are you, twelve?" Never mind, what did you think?"
"It's was fine I guess."
"Right, you wouldn't know a masterpiece if it slapped you across the face!" A wet slap could be heard inside the kitchen.
"Don't freaking hit me in the face with it, you perv-cook!" Zoro roared.
"Why not!? Your face can probably taste it better anyway!"
"That's it! I'm going to cut you up!" Zoro drew his swords.
"Bring it!" Sanji bellowed.
Suddenly, the door burst open with a tremendous force. In rushed Nami and Robin, panting and sweating something fierce. Their makeup was ruined by all the tears streaming down their faces. Zoro and Sanji just stood there, eyes wide open and jaws firmly dropped. "What the hell was going on?" they thought.
"Don't ruin this moment!" Nami cried. "If you don't stop fighting, you will never understand your true feelings towards each other!" Nami fell to her knees. "How can you two be so blind!?"
"All the fighting you two have been part of, all the bickering you've done…" Robin continued, steeling her heart. "Don't you two understand how much you love each other? Everyone can already see it, so why can't you?" Robin spoke as she stood proudly in the middle of the doorway, determined to help her dear friends.
"I hit you two all the time…" Nami rose from the floor, drying the tears from her eyes. "I've been so frustrated that I haven't been able to tell you two in any other way… Not until now."
"Let us help you; we are your friends, your nakama, you know you can trust us. Please stop lying to yourselves and just let it go." Robin continued, gesturing her hands towards her chest. "Look inside your hearts, you know this to be true." Nami and Robin took a brief pause from their crusade, to allow their words to reach the two men in front of them.
Zoro and Sanji just stood there, staring blankly into the nothingness. The cogs in their brains slowly began to turn and the seemingly random hysteria suddenly began making some sense. Sanji's neck creaked as it began to rotate, turning his head towards the kitchen counter. His eyes latched on to the batch of homemade hotdogs that were resting on a plate. His brain clicked as he finally made the connection, his hands began to tremble.
Zoro, at the very same time as Sanji, realized what they were talking about and lost the power in his hand, dropping the bottle of booze he'd been holding this entire time. The flask smashed against the floor, spilling liquor all over the place. Zoro and Sanji's eyes met while their faces slowly turned into horrendous blobs of sheer terror. They stared back at Nami and Robin. For the first time ever, their minds and souls had merged, forming a single being of shared emotion. Together, they grasped the faintest of hopes that maybe; just maybe, they had misunderstood what the two has said.
"Please don't be scared…" Nami spoke, seeing their terrified faces. "We didn't mean to startle you, or force it upon you so suddenly, but we are just concerned about you two. We don't you to waste what could be your last chance." Nami took a small pause. "None of us will judge you two…" Zoro and Sanji began to sweat profusely, gritting their teeth as they waited for her to continue. Nami took a deep breath before continuing. "There's nothing wrong with being homosexual!" Nami yelled at the top of her lungs.
In an literal instant, both Zoro and Sanji exploded into action, slamming and smashing through the starboard and port side walls of the ship. They burst through the wood, sending themselves flying through the air in opposite directions. Zoro crashed into the sea, and spent a few moment under the waves before finally appearing from the dark waters, several hundred yards away from the ship. He swam as fast as he could, so fast that his body, which tore the sea in half, created small tsunamis in his wake.
Sanji, on the other side, had never stopped flying. His legs burned with much greater strength than the sun itself. Each step he took ignited the air around him, leaving a line of explosions behind him as he ran. If he could, he would cry rivers and streams worth of tears, but because of the fierce heat of his anger, nothing but steam shot out from his eyes. Their screams echoed as they slowly disappeared towards the horizon, leaving the two females to watch over their swift retreat.
"I hope we didn't upset them too much…" Nami said worryingly.
"They'll come around." Robin replied. "We have to let them deal with it in their own way."
"Yeah, you're right. I'm just so happy for them…" Nami smiled. "Hey, Robin… Wouldn't it be so romantic if they travelled around the world and meeting up on the other side?"
"!" Robin gasped. "And then they would kiss!" At that very moment, two small mushroom clouds could be seen rising from the last known locations of Zoro and Sanji.
"Ooooh! We have to tell everyone! We should throw a huge party to celebrate them coming out of the closet! Once they return of course." Nami continued. "I just can't believe all of our yaoi dreams have come true!"
Zoro and Sanji would one day return to the ship, after traveling in a circle around the world. The aftermath of their rampage had forever scarred the landscape they crossed, and forever changed the waters they had traversed. Many years later, navigators around the world mapped the new sea that had been formed in their wake.
The tales spoke of two men, who were so madly in love, that their passion had torn the world in two. One half was slightly larger than the other, so they were given the names of "The top" and "The bottom". No one knows if the stories were true, but one thing was certain. True love awaited any homosexual couple who dared sail around the world, facing the challenges of "The Gay Line".