Chapter 32: "That Time Jazz Fought a Ghost Ninja (Bad Idea)"
In which Naruto wrecks the family living room, Jazz learns she's not the main character (yet), and we all realize ghost-proof security has its limits.
Tucker dropped his smoothie.
Sam's eyes did this weird wide-blink thing, like her brain had just soft-rebooted.
And I? I just casually strolled into the living room of Sam's gothic mansion and tried not to look smug about the fact that Naruto freaking Uzumaki was lounging on the velvet sofa like he was on a magazine cover titled "Ex-Hokage Life: Ninja Ghost & Chill."
Naruto didn't say anything at first. Just nodded at us, relaxed, arms draped across the backrest like he owned the place. For a second, I half-expected him to ask where the remote was.
"So... uh... either I've overdosed on gnome fumes," Tucker whispered, "or Naruto is in our friend's living room looking like he's about to order room service."
"Yeah," Sam added, blinking. "Is this cosplay? A really interactive cosplay?"
"Nope," I said. "That's him. The real deal. That's the mysterious mentor I was talking about."
They both looked at me like I'd said I was being mentored by a talking toaster.
Then Naruto stood up, smiling that signature grin of his that somehow said "I've seen literal planetary threats, but also I think you're doing great, kid."
"Nice job today," he said, voice warm and proud. "You both showed courage. You didn't know I was around, but you still stood your ground. That's what matters most to me. Real bravery."
Sam straightened up a bit. Tucker looked like he was going to combust from pride. I might've teared up a little. But only a little.
"You're official heroes now," Naruto said. "And from now on, I'll be helping you grow stronger directly—just like I've been doing with Danny."
Tucker raised his hand like we were in school.
"Uh, yeah—quick follow-up. What does that mean, exactly?"
"And why are you a ghost?" Sam added. "Are you haunting Danny? Possessing him? Is this like one of those weird supernatural romances where you possess him while he sleeps?"
I choked on air. Naruto just laughed.
"No haunting. No romance. Not my style," Naruto said, waving it off. "I'm a soul fragment of Naruto Uzumaki, here to train heroes in this world."
"Soul... fragment?" Sam repeated.
"It's a chakra thing," I explained. "Think Jedi Force ghost, but more useful."
Naruto nodded approvingly.
"I only possess Danny during battle when he needs it. Just to guide him. He's the one in control."
"Good to know," Tucker muttered. "You do realize how weird that sounds, right?"
"Completely," I agreed.
"But now," Naruto continued, "you two will start your own journey. You'll receive training in your mental world. That means your bodies will improve quickly—like Danny's—but your combat skills, instincts, and reaction time will evolve even faster. What usually takes months or years, we'll do in days."
There was a moment of stunned silence.
"So like... superhero boot camp?" Tucker said slowly.
"In your head?" Sam added.
Naruto gave them both a thumbs-up. "Exactly. Think of it like downloading an upgrade. Only with more yelling and cool ninja stuff."
Tucker grinned. "Awesome. Do I get to name my training form something epic? Like 'Tucker, Version 2.0: Tactical Floof Commander?'"
"We're not doing that," Sam said flatly.
"I'm doing that," Tucker grinned.
As Naruto faded slightly into chakra mist, he left one last message hanging in the air:
"Your power comes from your bond with each other. Protect it, and you'll be unstoppable."
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Naruto had barely shimmered out of existence like a chakra-scented candle before I found myself in the crossfire.
"YOU KNEW Naruto was training you and didn't tell us?" Tucker shouted, pointing at me with the betrayal of someone who just found out his best friend had a secret stash of snacks he never shared.
"A soul fragment, Danny?" Sam snapped. "You've had anime royalty whispering in your ear for days and you didn't think maybe—just maybe—that your actual best friends should know?!"
I raised my hands in surrender, still wearing the half-armored prototype suit, which made me look like I was trying to cosplay Iron Man from a flea market.
"Okay! First of all, Naruto literally told me not to tell anyone. Like, 'ancient secret mission' kind of stuff! It wasn't personal, I swear!"
"Not personal?! We fought garden gnome ghosts with a drone and a half-charged rifle today!" Tucker barked. "I almost named my drone before I even knew this was real ninja business! That's personal, bro!"
"You could've at least warned us that your mentor was a literal legend," Sam muttered, arms crossed. "I was going to throw the necklace into the nearest river until I remembered you gave it to me."
"Yeah, about that," I said sheepishly. "Sorry. I genuinely didn't think it would pulse unless something serious happened."
"It did!" she glared. "The gnomes tried to barbeque my house!"
Tucker threw himself dramatically onto the couch.
"Danny's getting superpowers, secret ninja training, and cosmic chakra boosts while we were out here doing pushups like normies! I want a sage mode, or a super cool ghost punch, or at least a sick transformation sequence!"
"We literally just got told we're going to be superheroes too," I reminded him.
"Yeah, but you're like six episodes ahead of us in the anime," Tucker whined. "That's not fair. I haven't even gotten my tragic backstory yet!"
Sam rolled her eyes. "You nearly got eaten by a sentient lawn ornament today. That counts."
"That's not tragic, Sam," Tucker said, dead serious. "That's embarrassing."
I plopped down in the armchair, still slightly stunned that this was my life now. A week ago I was avoiding gym class and ghost fights. Now I was being trained by an interdimensional ninja legend, wearing ghost armor, and calming down my best friends who were mad because they weren't getting magic powers fast enough.
"Guys," I said finally, "I didn't mean to leave you out. You're my team. My family, even. I was just figuring it out as I went."
There was a pause.
Then Tucker nodded. "Okay. You're forgiven."
Sam eyed me for a second longer. Then she sat beside me and leaned her head on my shoulder.
"Just… no more secrets, Danny," she said quietly.
"Yeah," Tucker added, "next time you're being haunted by an anime icon, give us a heads-up. Group chat or something."
I grinned.
"Deal. No more ghost mentors without a group text."
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If I had known walking into my house would lead to a full-on paranormal intervention, I might've snuck in through the basement window.
Too late.
"Danny Fenton, you have ten seconds to explain your suspicious glow-up before I call in Mom and Dad and a containment squad!"
The net hit me like a volleyball spiked by a mutant gorilla. I didn't even get a "hi" before I was wrapped up in glowing ecto-thread and staring down the barrel of a Fenton-grade ghost rifle. Jazz stood over me, expression calm and polite, like she was offering tea at a hostage negotiation.
"Uh, Jazz?" I tried, wriggling. "Little intense for a family greeting."
She didn't blink. "Your biceps have a visible muscle curve now, Danny. Two weeks ago you could barely do a push-up without wheezing like a kazoo. So either you've found a revolutionary protein powder—unlikely—or you've made a contract with something very not human."
"You've been monitoring my biceps?!"
"Of course. That's what big sisters do when their little brothers might be possessed by something from the Underworld."
"Okay, rude. Also inaccurate. I'm not possessed."
(…Except for, you know, the occasional times Naruto jumps in to give me ghost-powered pep talks. But I wasn't gonna mention that while laser dots danced on my forehead.)
She adjusted her glasses, dead serious. "Then who's your mentor? Because that strength isn't natural. Not in that time frame. You were literally winded last week climbing the stairs."
"I just—look, Jazz, I'm fine! I didn't sell my soul to a lich or whatever. I didn't even talk to a vampire. And the closest thing I've done to necromancy is reheating Mom's meatloaf."
Her grip on the rifle didn't ease.
"Jazz. I'm not evil. I promise."
She crouched down next to me, gaze sharp and clinical. "Danny. In our line of work, kids your age are exactly the kind that dark entities prey on. They offer shortcuts. Power. Validation. I've read fifteen case studies just this month on teenagers who accidentally became dark warlocks trying to pass algebra."
"I passed algebra," I muttered. "Barely."
"That makes it worse."
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Naruto decided it was time for a grand entrance.
And by grand, I mean he floated into the room sideways, reclining in the air like a very smug sofa.
"Yo."
Jazz, to her credit, did not scream. She just snapped her rifle back up and aimed it directly at his head.
"You must be the so-called mentor," she said coolly, "and unless Danny has recently made friends with a spectral cosplayer, I'm guessing you're Naruto Uzumaki."
Naruto grinned. "In the soul fragment. Nice to meet you, future hero."
I groaned. "Please don't fight my sister. She has a black belt in passive aggression and a rifle full of ghost juice."
Too late.
Jazz took a shot.
Naruto didn't flinch. He just blinked out of the way like the attack was a sneeze and he was the air.
Jazz followed up by swinging a ghost baton that fizzed with energy and yelling something about "unauthorized spiritual possession and manipulation of minors!"—which, to be fair, sounded a lot more dramatic than what was actually happening.
Naruto casually parried her next strike with a glowing hand and held her midair with a single finger.
"Okay, calm down, Powerpuff Girl," he said. "I didn't come here to fight. Just to invite you to the team."
Jazz thrashed. "You manipulated my brother! You gave him powers without proper consent forms or health assessments!"
"I literally gave him squats and advice," Naruto said. "You'd be amazed what a little confidence and proper mentorship can do."
At this point, I was just sitting on the couch with popcorn, silently regretting not filming any of this for future blackmail material.
Jazz glared. "Why him? Why not fight the evil yourself if you're so strong? Why train teenagers like we're in some Saturday morning anime?"
Naruto let her go—gently—and floated down beside her.
"Because Danny is the central point of this world," he said, voice suddenly low and serious. "Whether you believe it or not, events are drawn to him. Chaos, danger, power—all orbit him like planets around the sun. If he doesn't have guidance, things go bad. Real bad."
"Then why not just protect him yourself?" Jazz asked, arms crossed. "If you're some moon-slicing ghost ninja god or whatever."
Naruto shrugged. "Because I won't always be here. And because this world doesn't need one hero—it needs a lot of them. One Danny isn't enough. One Naruto isn't enough. But a team? A family? That's the kind of legacy that lasts."
That made Jazz pause. Not even she could argue with that logic.
Especially when our high-tech ghost detection system—a system built by the Fenton family, mind you—was sitting in the corner, blinking calmly like nothing had happened.
No alarms. No containment fields. No ghost zappers.
Because apparently Naruto was so high-tier that even the ghost security system was just like, "Nope, I'm good."
Jazz looked at Naruto. Looked at me. Then back at Naruto.
Then sighed the sigh of a woman who realized she had just tried to physically detain a mythological force of nature.
"Fine," she muttered. "I'll listen. But only because our house security thinks you're not worth detecting."
"I'll take it," Naruto said with a wink. "Welcome to the team, Fenton number two."
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The ghost net finally retracted, hissing and folding up like a disappointed Venus flytrap. I dropped to the ground with a thud, arms flopping out like a stunned starfish. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I was more emotionally exhausted or physically bruised. Either way, I was done.
Naruto helped me up, still glowing slightly with his usual calm, otherworldly aura. Jazz, rifle now lowered but eyes sharper than ever, gave me a once-over.
"You good?" she asked.
"Yeah, you know. Apart from the net trap, the interrogation, and nearly watching you go full Mortal Kombat on my mentor? Great. Peak Danny."
Jazz exhaled and turned to Naruto. "Let's talk. Alone."
I froze. "Please don't vaporize him."
"I'm not going to vaporize him," Jazz said with a dry tone. "I just have questions. And boundaries."
They sat down on opposite ends of the couch. I hovered awkwardly near the hallway until Jazz gave me the go-away-and-don't-listen-or-I'll-sell-your-internet-history look.
I went.
Behind me, their conversation started civil… and then took a hard left turn into awkward.
"So," Jazz began, voice stiff with composure, "first of all, thank you for not being evil. Big win."
Naruto chuckled. "You're welcome. Low bar, but I'll take it."
"Second…" She hesitated, rubbing her temples. "Please stop possessing my brother."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "It's not full possession. More like… spiritual co-piloting."
"Whatever it is, it's weird," Jazz said firmly. "I don't know if you're aware, but when you're riding shotgun in his soul, and he's around me? It feels like you're on a date with me and Danny at the same time."
Naruto blinked. "...Wait, what?"
"Don't make this weird!" she snapped immediately, flushing. "I know you're not doing it on purpose, but the last time you talked through him while we were eating dinner and complimented my logic mid-bite? I nearly choked."
"That was meant to be encouraging."
"Yeah, well, I don't need spiritual compliments from a ghost inside my little brother, thank you."
There was a moment of silence.
Then Naruto grinned. "Noted. No ghost compliments mid-salad. And I promise, I'll keep my appearances strictly non-possessive from now on. Ghost ninja's honor."
Jazz narrowed her eyes. "I don't know if that's a real thing."
"It is now."
She sighed again, this time with a hint of a smile. "You're insufferable."
"And yet, here I am, still not vaporized."
They both laughed.
It was weird.
It was wholesome.
It was exactly the kind of thing that should've stayed private—but of course, I was eavesdropping from the hallway the whole time.
And I might never un-hear the phrase "ghost date triangle."